This should put heart into the Orange Men of Ulster.
***
We hear that, to celebrate the recent glorious victory in Alsace, the
little town of Zabern is to be re-named Säbeln.
***
The Rev. N. FITZPATRICK, describing a visit to the Balkan States in
a lecture at the Camera Club, spoke of the difficulties he had with
his laundry. The same bundle of clothes was soaked in Roumania,
rough-dried in Bulgaria, and ironed in Servia. We are astonished
that the lecturer should have made no mention of mangling, which we
understand is done well in the Balkan States.
***
The KAISER, we are told, has given instructions that his _menus_ are
in future to be written in German. What, by the way, _is_ the French
for _Sauerkraut_?
***
Mr. ARCHIBALD, a member of the Australian House of Representatives,
has calculated that the value of the property of the five million
inhabitants of the Commonwealth is £780,000,000. We cannot but think
it is a mistake to divulge the fact with so many dishonest people
about.
***
_I do like your eyes_ is the latest bright thought for a Revue title.
To be followed, no doubt, by _Her nose isn't bad, is it?_ and _What's
wrong with her toes?_
***
"FRENCH BATTLESHIP DROPPED."
_Pall Mall Gazette_.
Very careless of someone.
***
Reading that one of the features of the new British battleship class
will be less draught, Aunt Caroline remarked that she was glad to hear
this: she had always understood that during even half a gale it was
very easy to catch cold at sea.
***
Sir RUFUS ISAACS has decided to take the title of Lord READING. This
still leaves it open to a distinguished literary man, should he be
made a peer, to become Lord Writing.
***
The age of pleasure! Where will it stop? Extract from _The Witney
Gazette_:--"On Monday evening a very successful dance was given in the
Corn Exchange ... The company numbered over one hundred, and dancing
to the strains of Taylor's Oxford Scarlet Band was enjoyed till the
early hours of Wednesday morning."
***
While Police Constable JAKEMAN was in Eldon Road, Reading, last week,
a cat suddenly pounced on him and bit him. We have not yet received
a full account of the incident, but apparently the constable was on
detective duty and cleverly disguised as a mouse.
***
One of the cats shown at the Grand Championship Cat Show had her fur
cut and trimmed like a poodle's. The matter has been much discussed in
canine circles, and we understand that there may be trouble.
***
An express train travelling from Nice to Macon was, last week, beaten
by an eagle, which raced it over a distance of eighteen miles. Birds
are evidently being put upon their mettle by the aeroplanes.
***