(_ADVICE TO AN ASPIRANT._)
Dear sir, if you long for the love of a nation,
If you wish to be _fêted_, applauded, caressed;
If you hope for receptions, and want an ovation,
By the populace cheered, by Town Councils addressed;
I can give you succinctly a certain receipt--
Be detected at once and denounced as a cheat.
It's as easy as lying; you eat all your cake, Sir,
And you have it as well, which was never a sin,
By adding a trifling amount to your stake, Sir,
When the points of the cards show you're certain to win.
You'll be slapped on the back by the "man in the street,"
Who delights to sing pæans in praise of a cheat.
They take the poor thief or the forger to jail, oh,
Where he cleans out his cell and picks oakum all day;
_You_ pose as a martyr and get a cheap halo
Ready-made by the public, with nothing to pay.
Believe me, dear Sir, there is nothing can beat
For triumph and joy the career of a cheat.
* * * * *
EXIT LA CLAQUE.--"_A partir d'apres demain samedi_," says the _Figaro_
for August 6:--"M. LEMONNIER, _le Directeur d'été et l'auteur de
Madame la Maréchale, supprime le service de la claque à 'Ambigu_."
When _Madame la Maréchale_ has finished her run, will the _claque_
be re-admitted to start a new piece? This is snubbing your friends
in a time of prosperity. If the _claque_ has the courage of its
opinions--but stay, can a _claque_ have any opinions? No: it must
follow its leader; and its leader obeys orders. If ever any set of
men came into a theatre "with orders," the _claque_ is that set. Poor
_claque_! Summoned in adversity, banished in prosperity, why not do
away with it altogether, and trust to public expression of opinion for
applause?
* * * * *
NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS.,
Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no
case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed
Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception.