TO THE MINES.

_À propos_ of exploring, the other day, a digger's assistant came up

to me and inquired "If I had," as I understood him, "my gin pack'd."

I returned that I never took spirits. Found out subsequently that word

was spelt "_mijinpacht_," which is African-Dutch for "lease." Well,

why didn't he say so before? Of course I have, and plenty of 'em; else

why am I here?

To-day went to see the ore in the Robinson Crusoe Mines. As D.W. would

say, "The site strikes me with ore!"

Much interested, of course, in inspecting the Salisbury Mine.

Naturally, I put in my claim for the Salisbury. What's in a name and

a family, if one can't get some good out of 'em? Intend to start

the "Uncle Mine." Fine chance. Any place where there's a large and

fluctuating Pop-ulation (with emphasis on the "Pop"), the Uncle

Mine is a certainty." But Oh, for the "pop,"--I mean the dear old

fizz,--and the older it is, the dearer it is,--at the Amphitryon.

"IS LIFE WORTH LIVING?"

The Transvaal's the place for living in. Here life is life, be it

never so lively. The only nuisance is the Boer; and the Boer's a

hass, or rather a mule. That's my opinion of Boers individually and

collectively; I make no concessions to them; hang 'em, they've already

got enough. If this country had been in the hands of Englishmen, or

Americans, or both jointly (talking of jointly, we'd have had better

dinners than we get now but of this anon--) with a certain person whom

I can mention, and who is not a hundred miles distant from the present

writer at this moment, as Head of affairs, an Imperial ruler, with

power to add to his number (which number would be One, and would

remain so), then this country, in a very short time, would have ruled

the world. What ports, what champagnes, what railroads, what shipping,

what commerce, what an Imperial Parliament, with the Despot in the

Chair in both Houses, all speeches, except the Despot's, limited

to five minutes apiece, and no reduction on talking a quantity.

Oh, for one hour of this power, and the Amphitryon be blowed! Aha!

_Grandolphus Africanus Protector_ to begin with; _Grandolphus

Africanus Rex_ to go on with; and _Grandolphus Africanissimmus

Imperator_ to finish with!

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, August 15, 1891 · 第 16 / 23 题