SURPRISES.
Jonas Kink not only raised no objection to having an entertainment
at the baptism of his child, but he expressed his hearty desire
that nothing should be spared to repay the gossips for what they
had done to assist the infant into the Christian Church, by feeding
them well, and giving them what they valued more highly, something
to drink.
Mehetabel was gratified, and hoped that this was a token that,
rude as his manner was, he would gradually unbend and become
amiable. On the day of the christening, Bideabout was in a bustle,
he passed from one room to another to see that all was in order;
he rubbed his palms and laughed to himself. Occasionally his eyes
rested on Sally Rocliffe, and then there was a malicious twinkle
in them. There was little affection lost between the two. Neither
took pains to conciliate the other. Each commented freely on
those characteristics of the other which were in fact common to
both.
In his ambition to make a man of comparative substance of his son
Jonas, the father had not dealt liberally by his daughter, and
this had rankled in Sarah's heart. She had irritated her brother
by continually raking up this grievance, and assuring him that a
brother with natural feeling would, out of generosity of his heart,
make amends for the injustice of the father.
Jonas had not the slightest intention of doing anything of the
sort, and this he conveyed to Sarah in the most bald and offensive
manner possible. For twenty years, ever since the father's death,
these miserable bickerings had gone on. Sally had not the sense to
desist, where the pursuit of the topic could avail nothing, nor
Jonas the kindliness to make her a present which might moderate her
sense of having been unjustly treated.
He had been obliged to employ his sister, and yet he suspected, not
without cause, that she took away from his house such scraps of
food and pots and pipkins as were not likely to be missed. The
woman justified her conduct to herself by the argument that she was
inadequately paid in coin, and that she was forced to pilfer in
order to recoup herself for the outlay of time and muscle in her
brother's habitation. Thomas Rocliffe was a quiet, harmless old
man, crushed not only by the derision which had clung to him like a
robe of Nessus ever since his escapade with the Countess Charlotte,
but also by the weight of his wife's tongue. He had sought peace
by non-resistance, and this had encouraged her to violence, and had
removed the only possible check to her temper. He was not a clever
man. Most people thought him soft. His son Samuel was stupid and
sullen, rendered both by his mother's treatment from infancy.
Thomas had not sufficient intelligence and spontaneity to make a
struggle to overcome his embarrassments, and force himself a way
out of his difficulties. Instead of the debt that hampered him
being gradually reduced, as it might have been by a man with
energy, it had increased. Nothing had been spent on the house since
the debt had been first contracted, and it was not water-tight.
Nothing had been done to the land to dress it, to increase the
stock, to open up another spring of revenue. When a bad year came
the family fell into actual distress. When a good year ensued no
margin was left to serve as a provision for one less favorable.
Mehetabel, pleased that her husband had put no hindrance in the
way of a christening feast, had begrudged none of the necessary
expense, was active and skilful in the preparation of cakes and
pies.
To the church she had to go, so as to be churched immediately
before the baptism, and Jonas remained at home, as he said, to
see that no one broke in and carried off the good things. Never,
within the memory of the oldest inhabitant of the Punch-Bowl;
never, it may safely be asserted, since the Punch-Bowl had been
formed, had there been seen a table so spread as that in the Kink's
farmhouse on the day of the christening, and whilst the party was
at the church. In the first place the table had on it a clean
linen cover, not riddled with holes nor spotted with iron mould.
It was exceptional for any table in the Punch-Bowl to be spread
with linen. There stood on it plated and red earthenware dishes,
and on the latter many good things. At one end was a cold rabbit
pie. Rabbits were, indeed, a glut in Thursley, but such a pie
was a phenomenon.
Bideabout's mind was exercised over it. He was curious to know
whether the interior corresponded to the promise without. He
inserted a knife and lifted the crust just sufficiently to allow
him to project his nose to the edge of the dish and inhale the
savor of the contents. "My word!" said he, "there's stuffin'.
Rabbit and stuffin'. Wot next--and egg. I can see the glimmer
of the white and yaller."
He rose from his stooping posture and saw Samuel Rocliffe at the
window.
He beckoned to him to enter, and then showed him the table. "Did
you ever see the likes?" he asked. "You ain't invited, Sam, but
you can look over it all. There's a posy of flowers in the middle
of the table, genteel like, as if it were a public house dinner
to a club, and look at this pie. Do you see how crinkled it is
all round, like the frill of your mother's nightcap? That was done
with the scissors, and there's a gloss over the top. That were
effected with white o' egg. Just think of that! using white o' egg
when eggs is eighteen a shilling, for making the pie shine like
your face o' Sundays after you've yaller-soaped it. There's stuffin'
inside."
"I wish there were in my inside," said Samuel, surlily.
"You ain't invited. Do you see that thing all of a trimble over
there, a sort of pale ornamental cooriosity? That's called a
blue-mange. It's made of isinglass and milk and rice flour. It's
not for ornament, but to be eaten, by such as is invited. There
they come! You cut away. If you was a few years older, we might
have invited you. But there ain't room for boys."
The unfortunate Samuel sulkily retired, casting envious eyes at
the more favored denizens of the Punch-Bowl who were arriving to
partake of the viands only shown to him.
The guests streamed in and took their places. They enjoyed the
feast prepared, and passed encomiums on their hostess for her
cookery. All fought shy at first of the blanc-mange. None had seen
such a confection previously, and each desired that his fellow
should taste before committing himself to a helping.
Mrs. Verstage had sent a present of half-a-dozen bottles of currant
wine, and these were attacked without any hesitation.
All the males at the table were in their shirt-sleeves. No man
thought of risking his Sunday coat by wearing it, even though the
viands were cold.
Jonas seemed to thoroughly enjoy himself. He looked about and
laughed, and rubbed his hands together under the table.
"Beware!" whispered Sally to her husband. "I can't understand
Bideabout. There's some joke as tickles his in'ards tremendous. Wot
it is, I don't see."
"He'll let it out presently," said Thomas.
As soon as every appetite was satisfied, and the guests had thrust
their plates from them into the midst of the table, Giles Cheel
stood up, and looking round cleared his throat, and said, "Ladies
and gem'men, neighbors all. I s'pose on such an occasion as this,
and after such a feed, it's the dooty of one of us to make a
speech. And as I'm the oldest and most respected of the Broom-Squires
of the Bowl, I think it proves as I should express the gen'ral
feelin' of satisfaction we all have. That there rabbit pie might
ha' been proud to call itself hare. The currant wine was comfortin',
especially to such as, like myself, has a touch of a chill below
the ribs, and it helps digestion. There be some new-fangled notions
comin' up about taytotallin. I don't hold by 'em. The world was
once drownded with water, and I don't see why we should have Noah's
Floods in our insides. The world had quite enough taytotallin'
then."
Giles was pulled backwards by the hand of his wife, which grasped
the strap of his waistcoat.
"Sit down, you're ramblin' from the p'int."
"Betsy, let go. I be ramblin' up to it."
"Sit down, they've had enough o' yer."
"They've hardly had a taste."
"Everyone be laughin' at yer."
"I'm just about bringin' tears into their eyes."
"If you go on, I'll clap my hand over yer mouth."
"And then I'll punch yer head."
The daily broil in the Cheel house was about to be produced in
public. It was stopped by Jonas, who rose to his feet, and with a
leer and chuckle round, he said, "Neighbors and friends and all.
Very much obliged for the complerment. But don't think it is all
about a baby. Nothin' of the kind. It is becos I wanted all,
neighbors and friends, to be together whilst I made an announcement
which will be pleasant hearin' to some parties, and astonishin' to
all. I ain't goin' to detain you very long, for what I've got to
say might be packed in a nutshell and carried away in the stomick
of a tomtit. You all of you know, neighbors and friends all, as
how my brother-in-law made a fool of himself, and was made a fool
of through the Countess Charlotte. And how that his farm got
mortgaged; and since then, with lawyers, got more charged; and the
family have led a strugglin' life since to keep their heads above
water. Well, I've got all their mortgage and debts into my hands,
and intend--"
He looked round with a malicious laugh. He saw a flutter of
expectation in his sister's eyes.
"No, Sally. I ain't going to give 'em up. I hold em, and ain't
goin' to stand no shilly-shally about payments when due. You may
be sure of that. And wot is more, I won't stand no nonsense from
you or Thomas or Samuel, but I expect you to be my very humble
servants, or I'll sell you up."
A look of blank consternation fell on the faces of the Rocliffes.
Others looked uneasy. Not the Rocliffes only were partially
submerged.
"I've somethin' also to say to Gilly Cheel. I ain't goin' to have
the Punch-Bowl made a Devil's cauldron of wi' his quarrels--"
"Hear, hear," from Betsy Cheel.
"And unless he lives peaceable, and don't trouble me wi' his noise
and she wi' her cattewawlin'."
"That's for you," said Jamaica, and nudged his wife.
"I'll turn 'em both out," proceeded Jonas. "For I've been gettin'
his papers into my hands also. And then, as to the Boxalls--"
The members of that clan now looked blank. Consternation was
spreading to all at table.
"As to the Boxalls," continued Jonas, "if their time hasn't come
just yet, it's comin'. I hope, neighbors and friends all, you've
enjyed the dessert."
A dead silence ensued. Every one felt that it would be better to
be in the power of a lawyer than of Bideabout.
Tears of mortification and resentment rose in the eyes of Sally
Rocliffe. Mehetabel hung her head in shame.
Then Thomas, stolid and surly, flung a letter across the table to
the Broom-Squire. "Take that," he said, "I don't wan't to be
burdened with nothin' of your'n. 'Tis a letter been lyin' at the
post for you, and Mistress Chivers gave it me. Wish I wos rid of
everything atwixt us as I be of that there letter now."
Jonas took the missive, turned it about, then carelessly opened it.
As he read his color faded, and he had hardly read to the end
before he sank back in his chair with a cry of rage and despair;
"The Wealden bank be broke. I'm a ruined man."