BACK AGAIN.
Fever boiled in the heart of Mehetabel. A mill-race of ideas
rushed through her brain.
She found no rest in her household work, for it was not possible for
her to keep her mind upon it. Nor was there sufficient employment
to be found in the house to engage all her time.
Do what she would, make for herself occupation, there was still
space in which to muse and to torment herself with her thoughts.
Whilst her hands were engaged she craved for leisure in which to
think; when unemployed, the ferment within rendered idleness
intolerable.
When the work of the house was accomplished, she went to the
fountain where she had been drawn by Iver, and there saw again
the glowing brown of his eyes fixed on her, and reheard the tones
of his voice addressing her. Then she would start as though stung
by a wasp and go along the track up the Punch-Bowl, recalling
every detail of her walk with Iver, and feeling again his kiss
upon her lips. She tried to forget him; with a resolution of which
she was capable she shut against his entry every door of her heart.
But she found it was impossible to exclude the thoughts of him.
Had she not looked up to him from early childhood, and idolized
him? She had been accustomed to think of him, to talk of him daily
to his mother, after he had left the Ship. That mother who had
forcibly separated her from him had herself ingrafted Iver into
her inmost thoughts, made of him an integral portion of her mind.
She had been taught by Mrs. Verstage to bring him into all her
dreams of the future, as a factor without which that future would
be void and valueless, She had, indeed, never dreamed of him as a
lover, a husband; nevertheless to Mehetabel the future had always
been associated in a vague, yet very real, manner with Iver. His
return was to inaugurate the epoch of a new and joyous existence.
It was not practicable for her to pluck out of her heart this idea,
which had thrust its fibres through every layer and into every
corner of her mind. Those fibres were now thrilling with vitality,
asserting a vigorous life.
She asked herself the same question that had presented itself to
his mind, what if Iver had returned one day, one hour, before he
actually did? Then her marriage with Jonas would have been made
impossible. The look into his eyes, the pressure of his hand would
have bound her to him for evermore.
"Why, why, and oh why!" with a cry of pain, "had he not returned
in time to save her?"
"Why, why, and oh why!" with blood from her heart, "did he return
at all when too late to save her?"
Mehetabel had a clear and sound understanding. She was not one to
play tricks with her conscience, and to reason herself into
allowing what she was well aware was wrong. She nourished herself
in no delusion that her marriage with Jonas was formal and devoid
of the sanction of a spiritual bond.
She took her Prayer Book, opened the marriage service, and re-read
the vows she had made.
She had been asked, "Wilt thou have this man, Jonas, to thy wedded
husband, to live together after God's ordinance . . . and forsaking
all other keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?"
and thereto, in the sight of God and of the congregation, she had
promised. There was no escape from this.
She had said--"I, Mehetabel, take thee, Jonas, to be my wedded
husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better,
for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to
love, cherish and obey, till death us do part, according to God's
holy ordinance, and thereto I give thee my troth."
There was no proviso inserted, as a means of escape; nothing
like: I will be true to thee unless Iver return; unless, thou,
Bideabout, prove unworthy of my love and obedience; unless there
be incompatibility of temper; unless I get tired of thee, and
change my mind.
Mehetabel knew what the words meant, knew that she had been
sincere in intent when she said them. She knew that she was bound,
without proviso of any kind.
She knew that she could not love Iver and be guiltless. But she
was aware also, now, when too late, that she had undertaken towards
Jonas what was, in a measure, impossible.
Loyal to Jonas as far as outward conduct could make her, that she
was confident she would remain, but her heart had slipped beyond
her control, and her thoughts were winged and refused to be caged.
"I say, Matabel!"
The young wife started, and her bosom contracted. Her husband
spoke. He had come on her at a moment when, lost in day-dreams,
she least expected, desired, his presence.
"What do you want with me, Jonas?" she asked as she recovered her
composure.
"I want you to go to the Ship. The old woman there has fallen out
with the maid, and there are three gentlemen come for the shooting,
and want to be attended to. The old woman asked if you would help
a bit. I said 'Dun know:' but after a bit we agreed for a shilling
a day."
"Never!" gasped Mehetabel.
"I tried to screw more out of her necessity, but could not.
Besides, if you do well, you'll get half a crown from each of
the gents, and that'll be seven and six; and say three days at
the Inn, half-a-guinea all in all. I can spare you for that."
"Jonas, I do not wish to go."
"But I choose that you shall."
"I pray you allow me to remain here."
"There's Mr. Iver leaves to-day for his shop at Guildford, and I
reckon the old woman is put about over that, too."
After some hesitation Mehetabel yielded. The thought that Iver
would not be at the Ship alone induced her to consent.
She was hurt and angry that her husband had stipulated for payment
for her services. After the kindness, the generosity with which
she had been treated, this seemed ungracious in the extreme. She
said as much.
"I don't see it," answered Jonas. "When you wos a baby she made
the parish pay her for taking you. Now she wants you, it is her
turn to pay."
Bideabout did not allow his wife much time in which to make her
preparations. He had business in Godalming with a lawyer, and was
going to drive old Clutch thither. He would take Mehetabel with
him as far as Thursley.
On reaching the tavern Mrs. Verstage met her with effusion, and
Iver, hearing his mother's exclamation, ran out.
Mehetabel was surprised and confused at seeing him. He caught her
by the hand, helped her to descend from the cart, and retained his
hold of her fingers for a minute after it was necessary.
He had told his mother that he must return to Guildford that day;
and when she had asked for Mehetabel's help she had calculated on
the absence of her son, who had been packing up his canvas and
paints. To him she had not breathed a word of the likelihood that
Mehetabel would be coming to her aid.
"I daresay Bideabout will give you a lift, Iver," she said.
"I don't know that I can," said Jonas. "I've promised to pick up
Lintott, and there ain't room in the trap for more than two."
Then the Broom-Squire drove away.
"See, Matabel," said Iver, pointing to the signboard, "I've
redaubed the Old Ship, quite to my father's satisfaction. By Jove,
I told mother I should return to Guildford to-day--but now, hang
me, if I do not defer my departure for a day or two."
Mrs. Verstage looked reproachfully at her son.
"Mother," said he in self-exculpation. "I shall take in ideas, a
model costs me from a shilling to half-acrown an hour, and here
is Matabel, a princess of models, will sit for nothing."
"I shall be otherwise employed," said the girl, in confusion.
"Indeed, I shan't spare her for any of that nonsense," said Mrs.
Verstage.
The hostess was much perplexed. She had reckoned on her son's
departure before Mehetabel arrived. She would not have asked for
her assistance if she had not been convinced that he would take
himself off.
She expostulated. Iver must not neglect his business, slight
his engagements. He had resolved to go, and had no right to
shilly-shally, and change his mind. She required his room. He
would be in the way with the guests.
To all these objections Iver had an answer. In fine, said he, with
Mehetabel in the house he could not and he would not go.
What was Mehetabel to do? Jonas had locked up his house and had
carried away the key with him; moreover, to return now was a
confession of weakness. What was Mrs. Verstage to do? She had
three visitors, real gentlemen, in the house. They must be made
comfortable; and the new servant, Polly, according to her notion,
was a hopeless creature, slatternly, forgetful, impudent.
There was no one on whom the landlady could fall back, except
Mehetabel, who understood her ways, and was certain to give
satisfaction. Mrs. Verstage was not what she had once been, old
age, and more than that, an internal complaint, against which she
had fought, in which she had refused to believe, had quite recently
asserted itself, and she was breaking down.
There was consequently no help for it. She resolved to keep a sharp
lookout on the young people, and employ Mehetabel unremittingly.
But of one thing she was confident. Mehetabel was not a person to
forget her duty and self-respect.
The agitation produced by finding that Iver purposed remaining in
the house passed away, and Mehetabel faced the inevitable.
Wherever her eye rested, memories of a happy girlhood welled up in
her soft and suffering breast. The geraniums in the window she had
watered daily. The canary--she had fed it with groundsel. The
brass skillets on the mantelshelf--they had been burnished by her
hand. The cushion on "father's" chair was of her work. Everything
spoke to her of the past, and of a happy past, without sharp
sorrows, without carking cares.
Old Simon was rejoiced to see Mehetabel again in the house. He
made her sit beside him. He took her hand in his, and patted it.
A pleasant smile, like a sunbeam, lit up his commonplace features.
"Mother and I have had a deal to suffer since you've been gone,"
said Simon. "The girl Polly be that stupid and foreright (awkward)
we shall be drove mad, both of us, somewhen."
"Do you see that window-pane?" he asked, pointing to a gap in the
casement. "Polly put her broom handle through. There was not one
pane broke all the time you was with us, and now there be three
gone, and no glazier in the village to put 'em to rights. You
mind the blue pranked (striped) chiney taypot? Mother set great
store on that. Polly's gone and knocked the spout off. Mother's
put about terrible over that taypot. As for the best sheets,
Polly's burnt a hole through one, let a cinder fly out on it, when
airing. Mother's in a pretty way over that sheet. I don't know
what there'll be to eat, Polly left the larder open, and the dog
has carried off a leg of mutton. It has been all cross and contrary
ever since you went."
Simon mused a while, holding Mehetabel's hand, and said after a
pause, "It never ort to a' been. You was well placed here and never
ort to a' left. It was all mother's doing. She drove you into
weddin' that there Broom-Squire. Women can't be easy unless they
be hatchin' weddin's; just like as broody hens must be sittin' on
somethin'. If that had never been brought about, then the taypot
spout would not have been knocked off, nor the winder-pane broken,
nor the sheet riddled wi' a cinder, nor the dog gone off wi' the
leg o' mutton."
Mehetabel was unable to suppress a sigh.
"Winter be comin' on," pursued the old man, "and mother's gettin'
infirm, and a bit contrary. When Polly worrits her, then I ketches
it. That always wos her way. I don't look forward to winter. I
don't look forward to nuthin' now--" He became sorrowful. "All be
gone to sixes and sevens, now that you be gone, Matabel. What will
happen I dun' know, I dun' know."
"What may happen," said Mehetabel, "is not always what we expect.
But one thing is certain--lost happiness is past recovery."