"From time immemorial," said Judge Asher Carruth, of London, "Southern
people have been lavish in bestowing titles. I think there is something
in the Southern temperament which explains this. I didn't start out on
this, however, for a philosophical disquisition, but rather to tell how
a certain Kentucky gentleman established valid title to the rank of
Colonel. He went to Cincinnati once with a friend, who enjoyed many
acquaintances there; and who introduced him to every one as Colonel
Brown. Everything went along smoothly until finally one Cincinnatian
asked of the introducer:
"I suppose your friend Colonel Brown was in the Confederate army?"
"No, sir; he was not."
"Well, then, he fought on the Union side?"
"You are wrong there, too."
"Oh, I see now; he got his title by serving in the State militia?"
"No, he never entered the militia."
"Then, how did he get to be a colonel?"
"He drew a sword, sir, at a church fair!"
1925
_Tobacco-takers._--Dr. Caldwell says that there are but three
animals that can abide tobacco, namely:--The African rock goat--the
most loathsome creature on earth,
The foul tobacco worm,
And the rational creature, man!
1926
Talk less about the years to come--
Live, love and labor more to-day.
--_Alice Carey._
1927
Better be preparing for tomorrow, than regretting yesterday.
1928
To-morrow is, ah, whose?
--_D. M. Mullock._
1929
What cannot be told, had better not be done.
1930
Never hold any one by the button or the hand, in order to be heard out;
for if people are unwilling to hear you, you had better hold your tongue
than them.
--_Chesterfield._
1931
Though we have two eyes, we are supplied with but one tongue. Draw your
own moral.
--_Alphonse Karr._
1932
If you will control the tongue, you will soon be able also to control
the mind.
1933
_Tongue._--When we advance a little into life, we find that the tongue
creates nearly all the mischief of the world.
1934
The tongue is the instrument of the greatest good and the greatest evil
that is done in the world.
1935
Let mildness ever attend thy tongue.
1936
It is more necessary to guard the mouth than the chest.
--_From the German._
1937
It is related that a peasant once came to a monk to be taught the
Scriptures. The holy man began with the Psalm, 39 chapter, 1st verse: "I
said, I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue."
The peasant went his way to practice this and never returned. Lifelong
was the lesson, and lifelong the endeavor to master it.
1938
The tongue's not steel, yet it often cuts.
1939
A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant
use.
--_Irving._
1940
There are tourists who so busy themselves in traveling that they see
nothing.
1941
He'll seldom need aid
Who has a good trade.
1942
A useful trade may be said to be like a mine of gold.
1943
I see that conscience, truth, and honesty are made
To rise and fall, like other wares of trade.
--_Moore._
1944
He who has a trade may travel through the world.
--_From the Spanish._
1945