Produced by Lance Purple and Andrew Sly.
The Consolidator: or,
Memoirs of Sundry Transactions
From the World in the Moon.
Translated from the Lunar Language,
By the Author of The True-born English Man.
It cannot be unknown to any that have travell'd into the Dominions of
the Czar of Muscovy, that this famous rising Monarch, having studied
all Methods for the Encrease of his Power, and the Enriching as well
as Polishing his Subjects, has travell'd through most part of Europe,
and visited the Courts of the greatest Princes; from whence, by his
own Observation, as well as by carrying with him Artists in most
useful Knowledge, he has transmitted most of our General Practice,
especially in War and Trade, to his own Unpolite People; and the
Effects of this Curiosity of his are exceeding visible in his present
Proceedings; for by the Improvements he obtained in his European
Travels, he has Modell'd his Armies, form'd new Fleets, settled
Foreign Negoce in several remote Parts of the World; and we now see
his Forces besieging strong Towns, with regular Approaches; and his
Engineers raising Batteries, throwing Bombs, &c. like other Nations;
whereas before, they had nothing of Order among them, but carried all
by Ouslaught and Scalado, wherein they either prevailed by the Force
of Irresistible Multitude, or were Slaughter'd by heaps, and left the
Ditches of their Enemies fill'd with their Dead Bodies.
We see their Armies now form'd into regular Battalions; and their
Strelitz Musqueteers, a People equivalent to the Turks Janizaries,
cloath'd like our Guards, firing in Platoons, and behaving themselves
with extraordinary Bravery and Order.
We see their Ships now compleatly fitted, built and furnish'd, by
the English and Dutch Artists, and their Men of War Cruize in the
Baltick. Their New City of Petersburgh built by the present Czar,
begins now to look like our Portsmouth, fitted with Wet and Dry
Docks, Storehouses, and Magazines of Naval Preparations, vast and
Incredible; which may serve to remind us, how we once taught the
French to build Ships, till they are grown able to teach us how to
use them.
As to Trade, our large Fleets to Arch-Angel may speak for it, where
we now send 100 Sail yearly, instead of 8 or 9, which were the
greatest number we ever sent before; and the Importation of Tobaccoes
from England into his Dominions, would still increase the Trade
thither, was not the Covetousness of our own Merchants the
Obstruction of their Advantages. But all this by the by.
As this great Monarch has Improved his Country, by introducing the
Manners and Customs of the Politer Nations of Europe; so, with
Indefatigable Industry, he has settled a new, but constant Trade,
between his Country and China, by Land; where his Carravans go twice
or thrice a Year, as Numerous almost, and as strong, as those from
Egypt to Persia: Nor is the Way shorter, or the Desarts they pass
over less wild and uninhabitable, only that they are not so subject
to Flouds of Sand, if that Term be proper, or to Troops of Arabs,
to destroy them by the way; for this powerful Prince, to make this
terrible Journey feazible to his Subjects, has built Forts, planted
Collonies and Garisons at proper Distances; where, though they are
seated in Countries intirely Barren, and among uninhabited Rocks and
Sands; yet, by his continual furnishing them from his own Stores, the
Merchants travelling are reliev'd on good Terms, and meet both with
Convoy and Refreshment.
More might be said of the admirable Decorations of this Journey, and
how so prodigious an Attempt is made easy; so that now they have an
exact Correspondence, and drive a prodigious Trade between Muscow and
Tonquin; but having a longer Voyage in Hand, I shall not detain the
Reader, nor keep him till he grows too big with Expectation.
Now, as all Men know the Chineses are an Ancient, Wise, Polite, and
most Ingenious People; so the Muscovites begun to reap the Benefit of
this open Trade; and not only to grow exceeding Rich by the bartering
for all the Wealth of those Eastern Countries; but to polish and
refine their Customs and Manners, as much on that side as they have
from their European Improvements on this.
And as the Chineses have many sorts of Learning which these Parts of
the World never heard of, so all those useful Inventions which we
admire ourselves so much for, are vulgar and common with them, and
were in use long before our Parts of the World were Inhabited. Thus
Gun-powder, Printing, and the use of the Magnet and Compass, which we
call Modern Inventions, are not only far from being Inventions, but
fall so far short of the Perfection of Art they have attained to,
that it is hardly Credible, what wonderful things we are told of
from thence, and all the Voyages the Author has made thither being
imploy'd another way, have not yet furnish'd him with the Particulars
fully enough to transmit them to view; not but that he is preparing a
Scheme of all those excellent Arts those Nations are Masters of, for
publick View, by way of Detection of the monstrous Ignorance and
Deficiencies of European Science; which may serve as a Lexicon
Technicum for this present Age, with useful Diagrams for that
purpose; wherein I shall not fail to acqaint the World, 1. With the
Art of Gunnery, as Practis'd in China long before the War of the
Giants, and by which those Presumptuous Animals fired Red-hot Bullets
right up into Heaven, and made a Breach sufficient to encourage them
to a General Storm; but being Repulsed with great Slaughter, they
gave over the Siege for that time. This memorable part of History
shall be a faithful Abridgement of Ibra chizra-le-peglizar,
Historiagrapher-Royal to the Emperor of China, who wrote Anno Mundi
114. his Volumes extant, in the Publick Library at Tonquin, Printed
in Leaves of Vitrify'd Diamond, by an admirable Dexterity, struck all
at an oblique Motion, the Engine remaining intire, and still fit for
use, in the Chamber of the Emperor's Rarities.
And here I shall give you a Draft of the Engine it self, and a Plan
of its Operation, and the wonderful Dexterity of its Performance.
If these Labours of mine shall prove successful, I may in my next
Journey that way, take an Abstract of their most admirable Tracts
in Navigation, and the Mysteries of Chinese Mathematicks; which
out-do all Modern Invention at that Rate, that 'tis Inconceivable:
In this Elaborate Work I must run thro' the 365 Volumes of
Augro-machi-lanquaro-zi, the most ancient Mathematician in all China:
From thence I shall give a Description of a Fleet of Ships of 100000
Sail, built at the Expence of the Emperor Tangro the 15th; who having
Notice of the General Deluge, prepar'd these Vessels, to every City
and Town in his Dominions One, and in Bulk proportion'd to the number
of its Inhabitants; into which Vessel all the People, with such
Moveables as they thought fit to save, and with 120 Days Provisions,
were receiv'd at the time of the Floud; and the rest of their Goods
being put into great Vessels made of China Ware, and fast luted down
on the top, were preserv'd unhurt by the Water: These Ships they
furnish'd with 600 Fathom of Chain instead of Cables; which being
fastned by wonderful Arts to the Earth, every Vessel rid out the
Deluge just at the Town's end; so that when the Waters abated,
the People had nothing to do, but to open the Doors made in the
Ship-sides, and come out, repair their Houses, open the great China
Pots their Goods were in, and so put themselves in Statu Quo.
The Draft of one of these Ships I may perhaps obtain by my Interest
in the present Emperor's Court, as it has been preserv'd ever since,
and constantly repair'd, riding at Anchor in a great Lake, about
100 Miles from Tonquin; in which all the People of that City were
preferv'd, amounting by their Computation to about a Million and half.
And as these things must be very useful in these Parts, to abate the
Pride and Arrogance of our Modern Undertakers of great Enterprizes,
Authors of strange Foreign Accounts, Philosophical Transactions, and
the like; if Time and Opportunity permit, I may let them know, how
Infinitely we are out-done by those refined Nations, in all manner of
Mechanick Improvements and Arts; and in discoursing of this, it will
necessarily come in my way to speak of a most Noble Invention, being
an Engine I would recommend to all People to whom 'tis necessary to
have a good Memory; and which I design, if possible, to obtain a
Draft of, that it may be Erected in our Royal Societies Laboratory:
It has the wonderfullest Operations in the World: One part of it
furnishes a Man of Business to dispatch his Affairs strangely; for if
he be a Merchant, he shall write his Letters with one Hand, and Copy
them with the other; if he is posting his Books, he shall post the
Debtor side with one Hand, and the Creditor with the other; if he be
a Lawyer, he draws his Drafts with one Hand, and Ingrosses them with
the other.
Another part of it furnishes him with such an Expeditious way of
Writing, or Transcribing, that a Man cannot speak so fast, but he
that hears shall have it down in Writing before 'tis spoken; and a
Preacher shall deliver himself to his Auditory, and having this
Engine before him, shall put down every thing he says in Writing at
the same time; and so exactly is this Engine squar'd by Lines and
Rules, that it does not require him that Writes to keep his Eye
upon it.
I am told, in some Parts of China, they had arriv'd to such a
Perfection of Knowledge, as to understand one anothers Thoughts; and
that it was found to be an excellent Preservative to humane Society,
against all sorts of Frauds, Cheats, Sharping, and many Thousand
European Inventions of that Nature, at which only we can be said
to out-do those Nations.
I confess, I have not yet had leisure to travel those Parts, having
been diverted by an accidental Opportunity of a new Voyage I had
occasion to make for farther Discoveries, and which the Pleasure and
Usefulness thereof having been very great, I have omitted the other
for the present, but shall not fail to make a Visit to those Parts
the first Opportunity, and shall give my Country-men the best Account
I can of those things; for I doubt not in Time to bring our Nation,
so fam'd for improving other People's Discoveries, to be as wise as
any of those Heathen Nations; I wish I had the same Prospect of
making them half so honest.
I had spent but a few Months in this Country, but my search after
the Prodigy of humane Knowledge the People abounds with, led me into
Acquaintance with some of their principal Artists, Engineers, and Men
of Letters; and I was astonish'd at every Day's Discovery of new and
of unheard-of Worlds of Learning; but I Improv'd in the Superficial
Knowledge of their General, by no body so much as by my Conversation
with the Library-keeper of Tonquin, by whom I had Admission into the
vast Collection of Books, which the Emperors of that Country have
treasur'd up.
It would be endless to give you a Catalogue, and they admit of no
Strangers to write any thing down, but what the Memory can retain,
you are welcome to carry away with you; and amongst the wonderful
Volumes of Antient and Modern Learning, I could not but take Notice
of a few; which, besides those I mentioned before, I saw, when I
lookt over this vast Collection; and a larger Account may be given
in our next.
It would be needless to Transcribe the Chinese Character, or to put
their Alphabet into our Letters, because the Words would be both
Unintelligible, and very hard to Pronounce; and therefore, to avoid
hard Words, and Hyroglyphicks, I'll translate them as well as I can.
The first Class I came to of Books, was the Constitutions of the
Empire; these are vast great Volumes, and have a sort of Engine like
our Magna Charta, to remove 'em, and with placing them in a Frame,
by turning a Screw, open'd the Leaves, and folded them this way,
or that, as the Reader desires. It was present Death for the
Library-keeper to refuse the meanest Chinese Subject to come in and
read them; for 'tis their Maxim, That all People ought to know the
Laws by which they are to be govern'd; and as above all People, we
find no Fools in this Country, so the Emperors, though they seem to
be Arbitrary, enjoy the greatest Authority in the World, by always
observing, with the greatest Exactness, the Pacta Conventa of their
Government: From these Principles it is impossible we should ever
hear, either of the Tyranny of Princes, or Rebellion of Subjects,
in all their Histories.
At the Entrance into this Class, you find some Ancient Comments,
upon the Constitution of the Empire, written many Ages before we
pretend the World began; but above all, One I took particular notice
of, which might bear this Title, Natural Right prov'd Superior to
Temporal Power; wherein the old Author proves, the Chinese Emperors
were Originally made so, by Nature's directing the People, to place
the Power of Government in the most worthy Person they could find;
and the Author giving a most exact History of 2000 Emperors, brings
them into about 35 or 36 Periods of Lines when the Race ended; and
when a Collective Assembly of the Nobles, Cities, and People,
Nominated a new Family to the Goverment.
This being an heretical Book as to European Politicks, and our
Learned Authors having long since exploded this Doctrine, and prov'd
that Kings and Emperors came down from Heaven with Crowns on their
Heads, and all their Subjects were born with Saddles on their Backs;
I thought fit to leave it where I found it, least our excellent
Tracts of Sir Robert Filmer, Dr. Hammond L...y, S....l, and Others,
who have so learnedly treated of the more useful Doctrine of Passive
Obedience, Divine Right, &c. should be blasphem'd by the Mob, grow
into Contempt of the People; and they should take upon them to
question their Superiors for the Blood of Algernon Sidney, and Argyle.
For I take the Doctrines of Passive Obedience, &c. among the
States-men, to be like the Copernican System of the Earths Motion
among Philosophers; which, though it be contrary to all antient
Knowledge, and not capable of Demonstration, yet is adher'd to in
general, because by this they can better solve, and give a more
rational Account of several dark Phanomena in Nature, than they could
before.
Thus our Modern States-men approve of this Scheme of Government; not
that it admits of any rational Defence, much less of Demonstration,
but because by this Method they can the better explain, as well as
defend, all Coertion in Cases invasive of Natural Right, than they
could before.
Here I found two famous Volumes in Chyrurgery, being an exact
Description of the Circulation of the Blood, discovered long before
King Solomon's Allegory of the Bucket's going to the Well; with
several curious Methods by which the Demonstration was to be made so
plain, as would make even the worthy Doctor B------ himself become a
Convert to his own Eye-sight, make him damn his own Elaborate Book,
and think it worse Nonsence than ever the Town had the Freedom to
imagine.
All our Philosophers are Fools, and their Transactions a parcel
of empty Stuff, to the Experiments of the Royal Societies in this
Country. Here I came to a Learned Tract of Winds, which outdoes even
the Sacred Text, and would make us believe it was not wrote to those
People; for they tell Folks whence it comes, and whither it goes.
There you have an Account how to make Glasses of Hogs Eyes, that can
see the Wind; and they give strange Accounts both of its regular and
irregular Motions, its Compositions and Quantities; from whence, by a
sort of Algebra, they can cast up its Duration, Violence, and Extent:
In these Calculations, some say, those Authors have been so exact,
that they can, as our Philosophers say of Comets, state their
Revolutions, and tell us how many Storms there shall happen to any
Period of time, and when; and perhaps this may be with much about the
same Truth.
It was a certain Sign Aristotle had never been at China; for, had he
seen the 216th Volume of the Chinese Navigation, in the Library I
am speaking of, a large Book in Double Folio, wrote by the Famous
Mira-cho-cho-lasmo, Vice-Admiral of China, and said to be printed
there about 2000 Years before the Deluge, in the Chapter of Tides he
would have seen the Reason of all the certain and uncertain Fluxes
and Refluxes of that Element, how the exact Pace is kept between the
Moon and the Tides, with a most elaborate Discourse there, of the
Power of Sympathy, and the manner how the heavenly Bodies Influence
the Earthly: Had he seen this, the Stagyrite would never have Drowned
himself, because he could not comprehend this Mystery.
'Tis farther related of this Famous Author, that he was no Native
of this World, but was Born in the Moon, and coming hither to make
Discoveries, by a strange Invention arrived to by the Virtuosoes of
that habitable World, the Emperor of China prevailed with him to stay
and improve his Subjects, in the most exquisite Accomplishments of
those Lunar Regions; and no wonder the Chinese are such exquisite
Artists, and Masters of such sublime Knowledge, when this Famous
Author has blest them with such unaccountable Methods of Improvement.
There was abundance of vast Classes full of the Works of this
wonderful Philosopher: He gave the how, the modus of all the secret
Operations of Nature; and told us, how Sensation is convey'd to and
from the Brain; why Respiration preserves Life; and how Locomotion
is directed to, as well as perform'd by the Parts. There are some
Anatomical Dissections of Thought, and a Mathematical Description of
Nature's strong Box, the Memory, with all its Locks and Keys.
There you have that part of the Head turn'd in-side outward, in which
Nature has placed the Materials of reflecting; and like a Glass
Bee-hive, represents to you all the several Cells in which are lodg'd
things past, even back to Infancy and Conception. There you have the
Repository, with all its Cells, Classically, Annually, Numerically,
and Alphabetically Dispos'd. There you may see how, when the perplext
Animal, on the loss of a Thought or Word, scratches his Pole: Every
Attack of his Invading Fingers knocks at Nature's Door, allarms all
the Register-keepers, and away they run, unlock all the Classes,
search diligently for what he calls for, and immediately deliver
it up to the Brain; if it cannot be found, they intreat a little
Patience, till they step into the Revolvary, where they run over
little Catalogues of the minutest Passages of Life, and so in time
never fail to hand on the thing; if not just when he calls for it,
yet at some other time.
And thus, when a thing lyes very Abstruse, and all the rumaging of
the whole House cannot find it; nay, when all the People in the House
have given it over, they very often find one thing when they are
looking for another.
Next you have the Retentive in the remotest part of the Place, which,
like the Records in the Tower, takes Possession of all Matters, as
they are removed from the Classes in the Repository, for want of
room. These are carefully Lockt, and kept safe, never to be open'd
but upon solemn Occasions, and have swinging great Bars and Bolts
upon them; so that what is kept here, is seldom lost. Here Conscience
has one large Ware-house, and the Devil another; the first is very
seldom open'd, but has a Chink or Till, where all the Follies and
Crimes of Life being minuted are dropt in; but as the Man seldom
cares to look in, the Locks are very Rusty, and not open'd but with
great Difficulty, and on extraordinary Occasions, as Sickness,
Afflictions, Jails, Casualties, and Death; and then the Bars all give
way at once; and being prest from within with a more than ordinary
Weight, burst as a Cask of Wine upon the Fret, which for want of
Vent, makes all the Hoops fly.
As for the Devil's Ware-house, he has two constant Warehouse-keepers,
Pride and Conceit, and these are always at the Door, showing their
Wares, and exposing the pretended Vertues and Accomplishments of the
Man, by way of Ostentation.
In the middle of this curious part of Nature, there is a clear
Thorough-fare, representing the World, through which so many Thousand
People pass so easily, and do so little worth taking notice of,
that 'tis for no manner of Signification to leave Word they have
been here. Thro' this Opening pass Millions of things not worth
remembring, and which the Register-Keepers, who stand at the Doors of
the Classes, as they go by, take no notice of; such as Friendships,
helps in Distress, Kindnesses in Affliction, Voluntary Services, and
all sorts of Importunate Merit; things which being but Trifles in
their own Nature, are made to be forgotten.
In another Angle is to be seen the Memory's Garden, in which her most
pleasant things are not only Deposited, but Planted, Transplanted,
Grafted, Inoculated, and obtain all possible Propagation and
Encrease; these are the most pleasant, delightful, and agreeable
things, call'd Envy, Slander, Revenge, Strife and Malice, with the
Additions of Ill-turns, Reproaches, and all manner of Wrong; these
are caressed in the Cabinet of the Memory, with a World of Pleasure
never let pass, and carefully Cultivated with all imaginable Art.
There are multitudes of Weeds, Toys, Chat, Story, Fiction, and Lying,
which in the great throng of passant Affairs, stop by the way, and
crowding up the Place, leave no room for their Betters that come
behind, which makes many a good Guess be put by, and left to go clear
thro' for want of Entertainment.
There are a multitude of things very curious and observable,
concerning this little, but very accurate thing, called Memory; but
above all, I see nothing so very curious, as the wonderful Art of
Wilful Forgetfulness; and as 'tis a thing, indeed, I never could find
any Person compleatly Master of, it pleased me very much, to find
this Author has made a large Essay, to prove there is really no such
Power in Nature; and that the Pretenders to it are all Impostors, and
put a Banter upon the World; for that it is impossible for any Man to
oblige himself to forget a thing, since he that can remember to
forget, and at the same time forget to remember, has an Art above
the Devil.
In his Laboratory you see a Fancy preserv'd a la Mummy, several
Thousand Years old; by examining which you may perfectly discern,
how Nature makes a Poet: Another you have taken from a meer Natural,
which discovers the Reasons of Nature's Negative in the Case of
humane Understanding; what Deprivation of Parts She suffers, in the
Composition of a Coxcomb; and with what wonderful Art She prepares a
Man to be a Fool.
Here being the product of this Author's wonderful Skill, you have the
Skeleton of a Wit, with all the Readings of Philosophy and Chyrurgery
upon the Parts: Here you see all the Lines Nature has drawn to form a
Genius, how it performs, and from what Principles.
Also you are Instructed to know the true reason of the Affinity
between Poetry and Poverty; and that it is equally derived from
what's Natural and Intrinsick, as from Accident and Circumstance; how
the World being always full of Fools and Knaves, Wit is sure to miss
of a good Market; especially, if Wit and Truth happen to come in
Company; for the Fools don't understand it, and the Knaves can't bear
it.
But still 'tis own'd, and is most apparent, there is something also
Natural in the Case too, since there are some particular Vessels
Nature thinks necessary, to the more exact Composition of this nice
thing call'd a Wit, which as they are, or are not Interrupted in the
peculiar Offices for which they are appointed, are subject to various
Distempers, and more particularly to Effluxions and Vapour, Diliriums
Giddiness of the Brain, and Lapsa, or Looseness of the Tongue; and as
these Distempers, occasion'd by the exceeding quantity of Volatiles,
Nature is obliged to make use of in the Composition, are hardly to
be avoided, the Disasters which generally they push the Animal into,
are as necessarily consequent to them as Night is to the Setting of
the Sun; and these are very many, as disobliging Parents, who have
frequently in this Country whipt their Sons for making Verses; and
here I could not but reflect how useful a Discipline early Correction
must be to a Poet; and how easy the Town had been had N---t, E---w,
T. B--- P---s, D-- S-- D---fy, and an Hundred more of the jingling
Train of our modern Rhymers, been Whipt young, very young, for
Poetasting, they had never perhaps suckt in that Venome of Ribaldry,
which all the Satyr of the Age has never been able to scourge out of
them to this Day.
The further fatal Consequences of these unhappy Defects in Nature,
where she has damn'd a Man to Wit and Rhyme, has been loss of
Inheritance, Parents being aggravated by the obstinate young Beaus,
resolving to be Wits in spight of Nature, the wiser Head has been
obliged to Confederate with Nature, and with-hold the Birth-right
of Brains, which otherwise the young Gentleman might have enjoy'd,
to the great support of his Family and Posterity. Thus the famous
Waller, Denham, Dryden, and sundry Others, were oblig'd to condemn
their Race to Lunacy and Blockheadism, only to prevent the fatal
Destruction of their Families, and entailing the Plague of Wit and
Weathercocks upon their Posterity.
The yet farther Extravagancies which naturally attend the Mischief of
Wit, are Beau-ism, Dogmaticality, Whimsification, Impudensity, and
various kinds of Fopperosities (according to Mr. Boyl,) which issuing
out of the Brain, descend into all the Faculties, and branch
themselves by infinite Variety, into all the Actions of Life.
These by Conseqence, Beggar the Head, the Tail, the Purse, and the
whole Man, till he becomes as poor and despicable as Negative Nature
can leave him, abandon'd of his Sense, his Manners, his Modesty, and
what's worse, his Money, having nothing left but his Poetry, dies in
a Ditch, or a Garret, A-la-mode de Tom Brown, uttering Rhymes and
Nonsence to the last Moment.
In Pity to all my unhappy Brethren, who suffer under these
Inconveniencies, I cannot but leave it on Record, that they may not
be reproached with being Agents of their own Misfortunes, since I
assure them, Nature has form'd them with the very Necessity of acting
like Coxcombs, fixt upon them by the force of Organick Consequences,
and placed down at the very Original Effusion of that fatal thing
call'd Wit.
Nor is the Discovery less wonderful than edifying, and no humane Art
on our side the World ever found out such a Sympathetick Influence,
between the Extreams of Wit and Folly, till this great Lunarian
Naturalist furnisht us with such unheard-of Demonstrations.
Nor is this all I learnt from him, tho' I cannot part with this, till
I have publisht a Memento Mori, and told 'em what I had discovered
of Nature in these remote Parts of the World, from whence I take
the Freedom to tell these Gentlemen, That if they please to Travel
to these distant Parts, and examine this great Master of Nature's
Secrets, they may every Man see what cross Strokes Nature has struck,
to finish and form every extravagant Species of that Heterogenious
Kind we call Wit.
There C--- S--- may be inform'd how he comes to be very Witty, and
a Mad-man all at once; and P---r may see, That with less Brains and
more P--x he is more a Wit and more a Mad-man than the Coll. Ad---son
may tell his Master my Lord ---- the reason from Nature, why he would
not take the Court's Word, nor write the Poem call'd, The Campaign,
till he had 200 l. per Annum secur'd to him; since 'tis known they
have but one Author in the Nation that writes for 'em for nothing,
and he is labouring very hard to obtain the Title of Blockhead, and
not be paid for it: Here D. might understand, how he came to be able
to banter all Mankind, and yet all Mankind be able to banter him; at
the fame time our numerous throng of Parnassians may see Reasons for
the variety of the Negative and Positive Blessings they enjoy; some
for having Wit and no Verse, some Verse and no Wit, some Mirth
without Jest, some Jest without Fore-cast, some Rhyme and no Jingle,
some all Jingle and no Rhyme, some Language without measure; some all
Quantity and no Cudence, some all Wit and no Sence, some all Sence
and no Flame, some Preach in Rhyme, some sing when they Preach,
some all Song and no Tune, some all Tune and no Song; all these
Unaccountables have their Originals, and can be answer'd for in
unerring Nature, tho' in our out-side Guesses we can say little to
it. Here is to be seen, why some are all Nature, some all Art; some
beat Verse out of the Twenty-four rough Letters, with Ten Hammers
and Anvils to every Line, and maul the Language as a Swede beats
Stock-Fish; Others buff Nature, and bully her out of whole Stanza's
of ready-made Lines at a time, carry all before them, and rumble like
distant Thunder in a black Cloud: Thus Degrees and Capacities are
fitted by Nature, according to Organick Efficacy; and the Reason and
Nature of Things are found in themselves: Had D---y seen his own
Draft by this Light of Chinese Knowledge, he might have known he
should be a Coxcomb without writing Twenty-two Plays, to stand as so
many Records against him. Dryden might have told his Fate, that
having his extraordinary Genius flung and pitcht upon a Swivle, it
would certainly turn round as fast as the Times, and instruct him how
to write Elegies to O. C. and King C. the Second, with all the
Coherence imaginable; how to write Religio Laicy, and the Hind and
Panther, and yet be the same Man, every Day to change his Principle,
change his Religion, change his Coat, change his Master, and yet
never change his Nature.
There are abundance of other Secrets in Nature discover'd in relation
to these things, too many to repeat, and yet too useful to omit, as
the reason why Phisicians are generally Atheists; and why Atheists
are universally Fools, and generally live to know it themselves, the
real Obstructions, which prevent fools being mad, all the Natural
Causes of Love, abundance of Demonstrations of the Synonimous Nature
of Love and Leachery, especially consider'd a la Modern, with an
absolute Specifick for the Frenzy of Love, found out in the
Constitution, Anglice, a Halter.
It would be endless to reckon up the numerous Improvements, and
wonderful Discoveries this extraordinary Person has brought down, and
which are to be seen in his curious Chamber of Rarities.
Particularly, a Map of Parnassus, with an exact Delineation of
all the Cells, Apartments, Palaces and Dungeons, of that most
famous Mountain; with a Description of its Heighth, and a learned
Dissertation, proving it to be the properest Place next to the P---e
House to take a Rise at, for a flight to the World in the Moon.
Also some Enquiries, whether Noah's Ark did not first rest upon
it; and this might be one of the Summits of Ararat, with some
Confutations of the gross and palpable Errors, which place this
extraordinary Skill among the Mountains of the Moon in Africa.
Also you have here a Muse calcin'd, a little of the Powder of which
given to a Woman big with Child, if it be a Boy it will be a Poet, if
a Girl she'll be a Whore, if an Hermaphrodite it will be Lunatick.
Strange things, they tell us, have been done with this calcin'd Womb
of Imagination; if the Body it came from was a Lyrick Poet, the Child
will be a Beau, or a Beauty; if an Heroick Poet, he will be a Bulley;
if his Talent was Satyr, he'll be a Philosopher.
Another Muse they tell us, they have dissolv'd into a Liquid, and
kept with wondrous Art, the Vertues of which are Soveraign against
Ideotism, Dullness, and all sorts of Lethargick Diseases; but if
given in too great a quantity, creates Poesy, Poverty, Lunacy, and
the Devil in the Head ever after.
I confess, I always thought these Muses strange intoxicating things,
and have heard much talk of their Original, but never was acquainted
with their Vertue a la Simple before; however, I would always advise
People against too large a Dose of Wit, and think the Physician must
be a Mad-man that will venture to prescribe it.
As all these noble Acquirements came down with this wonderful Man
from the World in the Moon, it furnisht me with these useful
Observations.
1. That Country must needs be a Place of strange Perfection, in all
parts of extraordinary Knowledge.
2. How useful a thing it would be for most sorts of our People,
especially Statesmen, P----t-men, Convocation-men, Phylosophers,
Physicians, Quacks, Mountebanks, Stock-jobbers, and all the Mob of
the Nation's Civil or Ecclesiastical Bone-setters, together with some
Men of the Law, some of the Sword, and all of the Pen: I say, how
useful and improving a thing it must be to them, to take a Journey up
to the World in the Moon; but above all, how much more beneficial it
would be to them that stay'd behind.
3. That it is not to be wonder'd at, why the Chinese excell so much
all these Parts of the World, since but for that Knowledge which
comes down to them from the World in the Moon, they would be like
other People.
4. No Man need to Wonder at my exceeding desire to go up to the World
in the Moon, having heard of such extraordinary Knowledge to be
obtained there, since in the search of Knowledge and Truth, wiser Men
than I have taken as unwarrantable Flights, and gone a great deal
higher than the Moon, into a strange Abbyss of dark Phanomena, which
they neither could make other People understand, nor ever rightly
understood themselves, witness Malbranch, Mr. Lock, Hobbs, the
Honourable Boyle and a great many others, besides Messieurs Norris,
Asgil, Coward, and the Tale of a Tub.
This great Searcher into Nature has, besides all this, left wonderful
Discoveries and Experiments behind him; but I was with nothing more
exceedingly diverted, than with his various Engines, and curious
Contrivances, to go to and from his own Native Country the Moon. All
our Mechanick Motions of Bishop Wilkins, or the artificial Wings of
the Learned Spaniard, who could have taught God Almighty how to have
mended the Creation, are Fools to this Gentleman; and because no
Man in China has made more Voyages up into the Moon than my self, I
cannot but give you some Account of the easyness of the Passage, as
well as of the Country.
Nor are his wonderful Tellescopes of a mean Quality, by which such
plain Discoveries are made, of the Lands and Seas in the Moon, and in
all the habitable Planets, that one may as plainly fee what a Clock
it is by one of the Dials in the Moon, as if it were no farther off
than Windsor-Castle; and had he liv'd to finish the Speaking-trumpet
which he had contriv'd to convey Sound thither, Harlequin's
Mock-Trumpet had been a Fool to it; and it had no doubt been an
admirable Experiment, to have given us a general Advantage from all
their acquir'd Knowledge in those Regions, where no doubt several
useful Discoveries are daily made by the Men of Thought for the
Improvement of all sorts of humane Understanding, and to have
discoursed with them on those things, must have been very pleasant,
besides, its being very much to our particular Advantage.
I confess, I have thought it might have been very useful to this
Nation, to have brought so wonderful an Invention hither, and I was
once very desirous to have set up my rest here, and for the Benefit
of my Native Country, have made my self Master of these Engines,
that I might in due time have convey'd them to our Royal Society,
that once in 40 Years they might have been said to do something for
Publick Good; and that the Reputation and Usefulness of the so so's
might be recover'd in England; but being told that in the Moon
there were many of these Glasses to be had very cheap, and I having
declar'd my Resolution of undertaking a Voyage thither, I deferred my
Design, and shall defer my treating of them, till I give some Account
of my Arrival there.
But above all his Inventions for making this Voyage, I saw none more
pleasant or profitable, than a certain Engine formed in the shape of
a Chariot, on the Backs of two vast Bodies with extended Wings, which
spread about 50 Yards in Breadth, compos'd of Feathers so nicely put
together, that no Air could pass; and as the Bodies were made of
Lunar Earth which would bear the Fire, the Cavities were fill'd with
an Ambient Flame, which fed on a certain Spirit deposited in a proper
quantity, to last out the Voyage; and this Fire so order'd as to move
about such Springs and Wheels as kept the Wings in a most exact and
regular Motion, always ascendant; thus the Person being placed in
this airy Chariot, drinks a certain dozing Draught, that throws him
into a gentle Slumber, and Dreaming all the way, never wakes till he
comes to his Journey's end.
Of the Consolidator.
These Engines are call'd in their Country Language, Dupekasses; and
according to the Ancient Chinese, or Tartarian, Apezolanthukanistes;
in English, a Consolidator.
The Composition of this Engine is very admirable; for, as is before
noted, 'tis all made up of Feathers, and the quality of the Feathers,
is no less wonderful than their Composition; and therefore, I hope
the Reader will bear with the Description for the sake of the
Novelty, since I assure him such things as these are not to be seen
in every Country.
The number of Feathers are just 513, they are all of a length and
breadth exactly, which is absolutely necessary to the floating
Figure, or else one side or any one part being wider or longer than
the rest, it would interrupt the motion of the whole Engine; only
there is one extraordinary Feather which, as there is an odd one in
the number, is placed in the Center, and is the Handle, or rather
Rudder to the whole Machine: This Feather is every way larger than
its Fellows, 'tis almost as long and broad again; but above all, its
Quill or Head is much larger, and it has as it were several small
bushing Feathers round the bottom of it, which all make but one
presiding or superintendent Feather, to guide, regulate, and pilot
the whole Body.
Nor are these common Feathers, but they are pickt and cull'd out of
all parts of the Lunar Country, by the Command of the Prince; and
every Province sends up the best they can find, or ought to do so at
least, or else they are very much to blame; for the Employment they
are put to being of so great use to the Publick, and the Voyage or
Flight so exceeding high, it would be very ill done if, when the King
sends his Letters about the Nation, to pick him up the best Feathers
they can lay their Hands on, they should send weak, decay'd, or
half-grown Feathers, and yet sometimes it happens so; and once there
was such rotten Feathers collected, whether it was a bad Year for
Feathers, or whether the People that gather'd them had a mind to
abuse their King; but the Feathers were so bad, the Engine was good
for nothing, but broke before it was got half way; and by a double
Misfortune, this happen'd to be at an unlucky time, when the King
himself had resolv'd on a Voyage, or Flight to to the Moon; but being
deceiv'd, by the unhappy Miscarriage of the deficient Feathers, he
fell down from so great a height, that he struck himself against his
own Palace, and beat his Head off.
Nor had the Sons of this Prince much better Success, tho' the first
of them was a Prince mightily belov'd by his Subjects; but his
Misfortunes chiefly proceeded from his having made use of one of the
Engines so very long, that the Feathers were quite worn out, and good
for nothing: He used to make a great many Voyages and Flights into
the Moon, and then would make his Subjects give him great Sums of
Money to come down to them again; and yet they were so fond of him,
That they always complyed with him, and would give him every thing he
askt, rather than to be without him: But they grew wiser since.
At last, this Prince used his Engine so long, it could hold together
no longer; and being obliged to write to his Subjects to pick him out
some new Feathers, they did so; but withall sent him such strong
Feathers, and so stiff, that when he had placed 'em in their proper
places, and made a very beautiful Engine, it was too heavy for him
to manage: He made a great many Essays at it, and had it placed on
the top of an old Idol Chappel, dedicated to an old Bramyn Saint of
those Countries, called, Phantosteinaschap; in Latin, chap. de Saint
Stephano; or in English, St. Stephen's: Here the Prince try'd all
possible Contrivances, and a vast deal of Money it cost him; but the
Feathers were so stiff they would not work, and the Fire within was
so choaked and smother'd with its own Smoak, for want of due Vent and
Circulation, that it would not burn; so he was oblig'd to take it
down again; and from thence he carried it to his College of Bramyn
Priests, and set it up in one of their Publick Buildings: There he
drew Circles of Ethicks and Politicks, and fell to casting of Figures
and Conjuring, but all would not do, the Feathers could not be
brought to move; and, indeed, I have observ'd, That these Engines
are seldom helpt by Art and Contrivance; there is no way with them,
but to have the People spoke to, to get good Feathers; and they are
easily placed, and perform all the several Motions with the greatest
Ease and Accuracy imaginable; but it must be all Nature; any thing of
Force distorts and dislocates them, and the whole Order is spoiled;
and if there be but one Feather out of place, or pincht, or stands
wrong, the D---l would not ride in the Chariot.
The Prince thus finding his Labour in vain, broke the Engine to
pieces, and sent his Subjects Word what bad Feathers they had sent
him: But the People, who knew it was his own want of Management, and
that the Feathers were good enough, only a little stiff at first, and
with good Usage would have been brought to be fit for use, took it
ill, and never would send him any other as long as he liv'd: However,
it had this good effect upon him, That he never made any more Voyages
to the Moon as long as he reign'd.
His Brother succeeded him; and truly he was resolved upon a Voyage
to the Moon, as soon as ever he came to the Crown. He had met with
some unkind Usage from the Religious Lunesses of his own Country; and
he turn'd Abogratziarian, a zealous fiery Sect something like our
Anti-every-body-arians in England. 'Tis confest, some of the Bramyns
of his Country were very false to him, put him upon several Ways of
extending his Power over his Subjects, contrary to the Customs of
the People, and contrary to his own Interest; and when the People
expressed their Dislike of it, he thought to have been supported
by those Clergy-men; but they failed him, and made good, that Old
English Verse;
That Priests of all Religions are the same.
He took this so hainously, that he conceiv'd a just Hatred against
those that had deceiv'd him; and as Resentments seldom keep Rules,
unhappily entertain'd Prejudices against all the rest; and not
finding it easy to bring all his Designs to pass better, he resolved
upon a Voyage to the Moon.
Accordingly, he sends a Summons to all his People according to
Custom, to collect the usual quantity of Feathers for that purpose;
and because he would be sure not be used as his Brother and Father
had been, he took care to send certain Cunning-men Express, all
over the Country, to bespeak the People's Care, in collecting,
picking and culling them out, these were call'd in their Language,
Tsopablesdetoo; which being Translated may signify in English, Men of
Zeal, or Booted Apostles: Nor was this the only Caution this Prince
used; for he took care, as the Feathers were sent up to him, to
search and examine them one by one in his own Closet, to see if
they were fit for his purpose; but, alas! he found himself in his
Brother's Case exactly; and perceived, That his Subjects were
generally disgusted at his former Conduct, about Abrogratzianism,
and such things, and particularly set in a Flame by some of their
Priests, call'd, Dullobardians, or Passive-Obedience-men, who had
lately turn'd their Tale, and their Tail too upon their own Princes;
and upon this, he laid aside any more Thoughts of the Engine, but
took up a desperate and implacable Resolution, viz. to fly up to the
Moon without it; in order to this, abundance of his Cunning-men were
summon'd together to assist him, strange Engines contriv'd, and
Methods propos'd; and a great many came from all Parts, to furnish
him with Inventions and equivalent for their Journey; but all were so
preposterous and ridiculous, that his Subjects seeing him going on to
ruin himself, and by Consequence them too, unanimously took Arms; and
if their Prince had not made his Escape into a foreign Country, 'tis
thought they would have secur'd him for a Mad-man.
And here 'tis observable, That as it is in most such Cases, the mad
Councellors of this Prince, when the People begun to gather about
him, fled; and every one shifted for themselves; nay, and some of
them plunder'd him first of his Jewels and Treasure, and never were
heard of since.
From this Prince none of the Kings or Government of that Country have
ever seem'd to incline to the hazardous Attempt of the Voyage to the
Moon, at least not in such a hair-brain'd manner.
However, the Engine has been very accurately Re-built and finish'd;
and the People are now oblig'd by a Law, to send up new Feathers
every three Years, to prevent the Mischiefs which happen'd by that
Prince aforesaid, keeping one Set so long that it was dangerous to
venture with them; and thus the Engine is preserved fit for use.
And yet has not this Engine been without its continual Disasters, and
often out of repair; for though the Kings of the Country, as has been
Noted, have done riding on the back of it, yet the restless Courtiers
and Ministers of State have frequently obtained the Management of it,
from the too easy Goodness of their Masters, or the Evils of the
Times.
To Cure this, the Princes frequently chang'd Hands, turn'd one Set of
Men out and put another in: But this made things still worse; for it
divided the People into Parties and Factions in the State, and still
the Strife was, who should ride in this Engine; and no sooner were
these Skaet-Riders got into it, but they were for driving all the
Nation up to the Moon: But of this by it self.
Authors differ concerning the Original of these Feathers, and by what
most exact Hand they were first appointed to this particular use; and
as their Original is hard to be found, so it seems a Difficulty to
resolve from what sort of Bird these Feathers are obtained: Some have
nam'd one, some another; but the most Learned in those Climates call
it by a hard Word, which the Printer having no Letters to express,
and being in that place Hierogliphical, I can translate no better,
than by the Name of a Collective: This must be a Strange Bird without
doubt; it has Heads, Claws, Eyes and Teeth innumerable; and if I
should go about to describe it to you, the History would be so
Romantick, it would spoil the Credit of these more Authentick
Relations which are yet behind.
'Tis sufficient, therefore, for the present, only to leave you this
short Abridgement of the Story, as follows: This great Monstrous
Bird, call'd the Collective, is very seldom seen, and indeed never,
but upon Great Revolutions, and portending terrible Desolations and
Destructions to a Country.
But he frequently sheds his Feathers; and they are carefully pickt
up, by the Proprietors of those Lands where they fall; for none but
those Proprietors may meddle with them; and they no sooner pick them
up but they are sent to Court, where they obtain a new Name, and are
called in a Word equally difficult to pronounce as the other, but
Very like our English Word, Representative; and being placed in their
proper Rows, with the Great Feather in the Center, and fitted for
use, they lately obtained the Venerable Title of, The Consolidators;
and the Machine it self, the Consolidator; and by that Name the
Reader is desir'd for the future to let it be dignified and
distinguish'd.
I cannot, however, forbear to descant a little here, on the Dignity
and Beauty of these Feathers, being such as are hardly to be seen in
any part of the World, but just in these remote Climates.
And First, Every Feather has various Colours, and according to the
Variety of the Weather, are apt to look brighter and clearer, or
paler and fainter, as the Sun happens to look on them with a stronger
or weaker Aspect. The Quill or Head of every Feather is or ought to
be full of a vigorous Substance, which gives Spirit, and supports the
brightness and colour of the Feather; and as this is more or less in
quantity, the bright Colour of the Feather is increased, or turns
languid and pale.
Tis true, some of those Quills are exceeding empty and dry; and the
Humid being totally exhal'd, those Feathers grow very useless and
insignificant in a short time.
Some again are so full of Wind, and puft up with the Vapour of the
Climate, that there's not Humid enough to Condence the Steam; and
these are so fleet, so light, and so continually fluttering and
troublesome, that they greatly serve to disturb and keep the Motion
unsteddy.
Others either placed too near the inward concealed Fire, or the Head
of the Quill being thin, the Fire causes too great a Fermentation;
and the Consequence of this is so fatal, that sometimes it mounts the
Engine up too fast, and indangers Precipitation: But 'tis happily
observed, That these ill Feathers are but a very few, compar'd to the
whole number; at the most, I never heard they were above 134 of the
whole number: As for the empty ones, they are not very dangerous, but
a sort of Good-for-nothing Feathers, that will fly when the greatest
number of the rest fly, or stand still when they stand still. The
fluttering hot-headed Feathers are the most dangerous, and frequently
struggle hard to mount the Engine to extravagant heights; but still
the greater number of the Feathers being stanch, and well fixt, as
well as well furnisht, they always prevail, and check the Disorders
the other would bring upon the Motion; so that upon the whole Matter,
tho' there has sometims been oblique Motions, Variations, and
sometimes great Wandrings out of the way, which may make the Passage
tedious, yet it has always been a certain and safe Voyage; and no
Engine was ever known to miscarry or overthrow, but that one
mentioned before, and that was very much owing to the precipitate
Methods the Prince took in guiding it; and tho' all the fault was
laid in the Feathers, and they were to blame enough, yet I never
heard any Wise Man, but what blam'd his Discretion, and particularly,
a certain great Man has wrote three large Tracts of those Affairs,
and call'd them, The History of the Opposition of the Feathers;
wherein, tho' it was expected he would have curst the Engine it self
and all the Feathers to the Devil, on the contrary, he lays equal
blame on the Prince, who guided the Chariot with so unsteddy a hand,
now as much too slack, as then too hard, turning them this way and
that so hastily, that the Feathers could not move in their proper
order; and this at last put the Fire in the Center quite out, and so
the Engine over-set at once. This Impartiality has done great Justice
to the Feathers, and set things in a clearer light: But of this I
shall say more, when I come to treat of the Works of the Learned in
this Lunar World.
This is hinted here only to inform the Reader, That this Engine is
the safest Passage that ever was found out; and that saving that
one time, it never miscarried; nor if the common Order of things
be observed, cannot Miscarry; for the good Feathers are always
Negatives, when any precipitant Motion is felt, and immediately
suppress it by their number; and these Negative Feathers are indeed
the Travellers safety; the other are always upon the flutter, and
upon every occasion hey for the Moon, up in the Clouds presently; but
these Negative Feathers are never for going up, but when there is
occasion for it; and from hence these fluttering fermented Feathers
were called by the Antients High-flying Feathers, and the blustering
things seem'd proud of the Name.
But to come to their general Character, the Feathers, speaking of
them all together, are generally very Comely, Strong, Large,
Beautiful things, their Quills or Heads well fixt, and the Cavities
fill'd with a solid substantial Matter, which tho' it is full of
Spirit, has a great deal of Temperament, and full of suitable
well-dispos'd Powers, to the Operation for which they are design'd.
These placed, as I Noted before, in an extended Form like two great
Wings, and operated by that sublime Flame; which being concealed in
proper Receptacles, obtains its vent at the Cavities appointed, are
supplied from thence with Life and Motion; and as Fire it fell, in
the Opinion of some Learned Men, is nothing but Motion, and Motion
tends to Fire: It can no more be a Wonder, if exalted in the Center
of this famous Engine, a whole Nation should be carried up to the
World in the Moon.
'Tis true, this Engine is frequently assaulted with fierce Winds, and
furious Storms, which sometimes drive it a great way out of its way;
and indeed, considering the length of the Passage, and the various
Regions it goes through, it would be strange if it should meet with
no Obstructions: These are oblique Gales, and cannot be said to blow
from any of the Thirty-two Points, but Retrograde and Thwart: Some of
these are call'd in their Language, Pensionazima, which is as much
as to say, being Interpreted, a Court-breeze; another sort of Wind,
which generally blows directly contrary to the Pensionazima, is
the Clamorio, or in English, a Country Gale; this is generally
Tempestuous, full of Gusts and Disgusts, Squauls and sudden Blasts,
not without claps of Thunder, and not a little flashing of Heat and
Party-fires.
There are a great many other Internal Blasts, which proceed from the
Fire within, which sometimes not circulating right, breaks out in
little Gusts of Wind and Heat, and is apt to indanger setting Fire to
the Feathers, and this is more or less dangerous, according as among
which of the Feathers it happens; for some of the Feathers are more
apt to take Fire than others, as their Quills or Heads are more or
less full of that solid Matter mention'd before.
The Engine suffers frequent Convulsions and Disorders from these
several Winds; and which if they chance to overblow very much, hinder
the Passage; but the Negative Feathers always apply Temper and
Moderation; and this brings all to rights again.
For a Body like this, what can it not do? what cannot such an
Extension perform in the Air? And when one thing is tackt to another,
and properly Cosolidated into one mighty Consolidator, no question
but whoever shall go up to the Moon, will find himself so improv'd
in this wonderful Experiment, that not a Man ever perform'd that
wonderful Flight, but he certainly came back again as wise as he went.
Well, Gentlemen, and what if we are called High-flyers now, and an
Hundred Names of Contempt and Distinction, what is this to the
purpose? who would not be a High-flyer, to be Tackt and Consolidated
in an Engine of such sublime Elevation, and which lifts Men,
Monarchs, Members, yea, and whole Nations, up into the Clouds; and
performs with such wondrous Art, the long expected Experiment of a
Voyage to the Moon? And thus much for the Description of the
Consolidator.
The first Voyage I ever made to this Country, was in one of these
Engines; and I can safely affirm, I never wak'd all the way; and now
having been as often there as most that have us'd that Trade, it may
be expected I should give some Account of the Country; for it
appears, I can give but little of the Road.
Only this I understand, That when this Engine, by help of these
Artificial Wings, has raised it self up to a certain height, the
Wings are as useful to keep it from falling into the Moon, as they
were before to raise it, and keep it from falling back into this
Region again.
This may happen from an Alteration of Centers, and Gravity having
past a certain Line, the Equipoise changes its Tendency, the
Magnetick Quality being beyond it, it inclines of Course, and pursues
a Center, which it finds in the Lunar World, and lands us safe upon
the Surface.
I was told, I need take no Bills of Exchange with me, nor Letters of
Credit; for that upon my first Arrival, the Inhabitants would be very
civil to me: That they never suffered any of Our World to want any
thing when they came there: That they were very free to show them
any thing, and inform them in all needful Cases; and that whatever
Rarities the Country afforded, should be expos'd immediately.
I shall not enter into the Customs, Geography, or History of the
Place, only acquaint the Reader, That I found no manner of Difference
in any thing Natural, except as hereafter excepted, but all was
exactly as is here, an Elementary World, peopled with Folks, as like
us as if they were only Inhabitants of the same Continent, but in a
remote Climate.
The Inhabitants were Men, Women, Beasts, Birds, Fishes, and Insects,
of the same individual Species as Ours, the latter excepted: The Men
no wiser, better, nor bigger than here; the Women no handsomer or
honester than Ours: There were Knaves and honest Men, honest Women
and Whores of all Sorts, Countries, Nations and Kindreds, as on this
side the Skies.
They had the same Sun to shine, the Planets were equally visible as
to us, and their Astrologers were as busily Impertinent as Ours, only
that those wonderful Glasses hinted before made strange Discoveries
that we were unacquainted with; by them they could plainly discover,
That this World was their Moon, and their World our Moon; and when I
came first among them, the People that flockt about me, distinguisht
me by the Name of, the Man that came out of the Moon.
I cannot, however, but acquaint the Reader, with some Remarks I made
in this new World, before I come to any thing Historical.
I have heard, that among the Generallity of our People, who being
not much addicted to Revelation, have much concern'd themselves
about Demonstrations, a Generation have risen up, who to solve
the Difficulties of Supernatural Systems, imagine a mighty vast
Something, who has no Form but what represents him to them as one
Great Eye: This infinite Optick they imagine to be Natura Naturans,
or Power-forming; and that as we pretend the Soul of Man has a
Similitude in quality to its Original, according to a Notion some
People have, who read that so much ridicul'd Old Legend, call'd
Bible, That Man was made in the Image of his Maker: The Soul of Man,
therefore, in the Opinion of these Naturallists, is one vast Optick
Power diffus'd through him into all his Parts, but seated principally
in his Head.
From hence they resolve all Beings to Eyes, some more capable of
Sight and receptive of Objects than others; and as to things
Invisible, they reckon nothing so, only so far as our Sight is
deficient, contracted or darkened by Accidents from without, as
Distance of Place, Interposition of Vapours, Clouds, liquid Air,
Exhalations, &c. or from within, as wandring Errors, wild Notions,
cloudy Understandings, and empty Fancies, with a Thousand other
interposing Obstacles to the Sight, which darken it, and prevent its
Operation; and particularly obstruct the perceptive Faculties, weaken
the Head, and bring Mankind in General to stand in need of the
Spectacles of Education as soon as ever they are born: Nay, and as
soon as they have made use of these Artificial Eyes, all they can do
is but to clear the Sight so far as to see that they can't see; the
utmost Wisdom of Mankind, and the highest Improvement a Man ought to
wish for, being but to be able to see that he was Born blind; this
pushes him upon search after Mediums for the Recovery of his Sight,
and away he runs to School to Art and Science, and there he is
furnisht with Horoscopes, Microscopes, Tellescopes, Caliscopes,
Money-scopes, and the D---l and and all of Glasses, to help and
assist his Moon-blind Understanding; these with wonderful Skill and
Ages of Application, after wandring thro' Bogs and Wildernesses of
Guess, Conjectures, Supposes, Calculations, and he knows not what,
which he meets with in Physicks, Politicks, Ethicks, Astronomy,
Mathematicks, and such sort of bewildring Things, bring him with vast
Difficulty to a little Minute-spot, call'd Demonstration; and as not
one in Ten Thousand ever finds the way thither, but are lost in the
tiresome uncouth Journey, so they that do, 'tis so long before
they come there, that they are grown Old and good for little in
the Journey; and no sooner have they obtained a glimering of this
Universal Eye-sight, this Eclaricissment General, but they Die, and
have hardly time to show the way to those that come after.
Now, as the earnest search after this thing call'd Demonstration
fill'd me with Desires of seeing every thing, so my Observations of
the strange multitude of Mysteries I met with in all Men's Actions
here, spurr'd my Curiosity to examine, if the Great Eye of the World
had no People to whom he had given a clearer Eye-sight, or at least,
that made a better use of it than we had here.
If pursuing this search I was much delighted at my Arrival into
China, it cannot be thought strange, since there we find Knowledge
as much advanc'd beyond our common Pitch, as it was pretended to be
deriv'd from a more Ancient Original.
We are told, that in the early Age of the World, the Strength of
Invention exceeded all that ever has been arrived to since: That we
in these latter Ages, having lost all that pristine Strength of
Reason and Invention, which died with the Ancients in the Flood,
and receiving no helps from that Age, have by long Search arriv'd
at several remote Parts of Knowledge, by the helps of reading
Conversation and Experience; but that all amounts to no more than
faint Imitations, Apings, and Resemblances of what was known in
those masterly Ages.
Now, if it be true as is hinted before, That the Chinese Empire was
Peopled long before the Flood; and that they were not destroyed in
the General Deluge in the Days of Noah; 'tis no such strange thing,
that they should so much out-do us in this sort of Eye-sight we call
General Knowledge, since the Perfections bestow'd on Nature, when in
her Youth and Prime met with no General Suffocation by that Calamity.
But if I was extreamly delighted with the extraordinary things I saw
in those Countries, you cannot but imagine I was exceedingly mov'd,
when I heard of a Lunar World; and that the way was passable from
these Parts.
I had heard of a World in the Moon among some of our Learned
Philosophers, and Moor, as I have been told, had a Moon in his Head;
but none of the fine Pretenders, no not Bishop Wilkins, ever found
Mechanick Engines, whose Motion was sufficient to attempt the
Passage. A late happy Author indeed, among his Mechanick Operations
of the Spirit, had found out an Enthusiasm, which if he could have
pursued to its proper Extream, without doubt might, either in the
Body or out of the Body, have Landed him somewhere hereabout; but
that he form'd his System wholly upon the mistaken Notion of Wind,
which Learned Hypothesis being directly contrary to the Nature of
things in this Climate, where the Elasticity of the Air is quite
different and where the pressure of the Atmosphere has for want of
Vapour no Force, all his Notion dissolv'd in its Native Vapour call'd
Wind, and flew upward in blew Strakes of a livid Flame call'd
Blasphemy, which burnt up all the Wit and Fancy of the Author, and
left a strange stench behind it, that has this unhappy quality in it,
that every Body that Reads the Book, smells the Author, tho' he be
never so far off; nay, tho' he took Shipping to Dublin, to secure his
Friends from the least danger of a Conjecture.
But to return, to the happy Regions of the Lunar Continent, I was no
sooner Landed there, and had lookt about me, but I was surpriz'd with
the strange Alteration of the Climate and Country; and particularly
a strange Salubrity and Fragrancy in the Air, which I felt so
Nourishing, so Pleasant and Delightful, that tho' I could perceive
some small Respiration, it was hardly discernable, and the least
requisite for Life, supplied so long that the Bellows of Nature were
hardly imployed.
But as I shall take occasion to consider this in a Critical
Examination into the Nature, Uses and Advantages of Good Lungs, of
which by it self, so I think fit to confine my present Observations
to things more particularly concerning the Eye-sight.
I was, you may be sure, not a little surprized, when being upon an
Eminence I found my self capable by common Observation, to see and
distinguish things at the distance of 100 Miles and more, and seeking
some Information on this point, I was acquainted by the People, that
there was a certain grave Philosopher hard by, that could give me a
very good Account of things.
It is not worth while to tell you this Man's Lunar Name, of whether
he had a Name, or no; 'tis plain, 'twas a Man in the Moon; but all
the Conference I had with him was very strange: At my first coming to
him, he askt me if I came from the World in the Moon? I told him, no:
At which he began to be angry, told me I Ly'd, he knew whence I came
as well as I did; for he saw me all the way. I told him, I came to
the World in the Moon, and began to be as surly as he. It was a long
time before we could agree about it, he would have it, that I came
down from the Moon; and I, that I came up to the Moon: From this,
we came to Explications, Demonstrations, Spheres, Globes, Regions,
Atmospheres, and a Thousand odd Diagrams, to make the thing out to
one another. I insisted on my part, as that my Experiment qualified
me to know, and challeng'd him to go back with me to prove it. He,
like a true Philosopher, raised a Thousand Scruples, Conjectures, and
Spherical Problems, to Confront me; and as for Demonstrations, he
call'd 'em Fancies of my own. Thus we differ'd a great many ways;
both of us were certain, and both uncertain; both right, and yet
both directly contrary; how to reconcile this Jangle was very hard,
till at last this Demonstration happen'd, the Moon as he call'd it,
turning her blind-side upon us three Days after the Change, by which,
with the help of his extraordinary Glasses, I that knew the Country,
perceived that side the Sun lookt upon was all Moon, and the other
was all world; and either I fancy'd I saw or else really saw all the
lofty Towers of the Immense Cities of China: Upon this, and a little
more Debate, we came to this Conclusion, and there the Old Man and I
agreed, That they were both Moons and both Worlds, this a Moon to
that, and that a Moon to this, like the Sun between two
Looking-Glasses, and shone upon one another by Reflection, according
to the oblique or direct Position of each other.
This afforded us a great deal of Pleasure; for all the World covet to
be found in the right, and are pleas'd when their Notions are
acknowledg'd by their Antagonists: It also afforded us many very
useful Speculations, such as these;
1. How easy it is for Men to fall out, and yet all sides to be in
the right?
2. How Natural it is for Opinion to despise Demonstration?