How Apuleius was handled by the Bakers wife, which was a harlot.
The Baker which bought me was an honest and sober man; but his wife was
the most pestilent woman in all the world, insomuch that he endured
many miseries and afflictions with her, so that I my selfe did secretly
pitty his estate, and bewaile his evill fortune: for she had not one
fault alone, but all the mischiefes that could be devised: shee was
crabbed, cruell, lascivious, drunken, obstinate, niggish, covetous,
riotous in filthy expenses, and an enemy to faith and chastity, a
despise of all the Gods, whom other did honour, one that affirmed that
she had a God by her selfe, wherby she deceived all men, but especially
her poore husband, one that abandoned her body with continuall
whoredome. This mischievous queane hated me in such sort, that shee
commanded every day before she was up, that I should be put into the
mill to grind: and the first thing which she would doe in the morning,
was to see me cruelly beaten, and that I should grind when the other
beasts did feed and take rest. When I saw that I was so cruelly
handled, she gave me occasion to learne her conversation and life, for
I saw oftentimes a yong man which would privily goe into her chamber
whose face I did greatly desire to see, but I could not by reason mine
eyes were covered every day. And verily if I had beene free and at
liberty, I would have discovered all her abhomination. She had an old
woman, a bawd, a messenger of mischiefe that daily haunted to her
house, and made good cheere with her to the utter undoing and
impoverishment of her husband, but I that was greatly offended with the
negligence of Fotis, who made me an Asse, in stead of a Bird, did yet
comfort my selfe by this onely meane, in that to the miserable
deformity of my shape, I had long eares, whereby I might heare all
things that was done: On a day I heard the old bawd say to the Bakers
wife:
Dame you have chosen (without my counsell) a young man to your lover,
who as me seemeth, is dull, fearefull, without any grace, and
dastard-like coucheth at the frowning looke of your odious husband,
whereby you have no delight nor pleasure with him: how farre better is
the young man Philesiterus who is comely, beautifull, in the flower of
his youth, liberall, courteous, valiant and stout against the diligent
pries and watches of your husband, whereby to embrace the worthiest
dames of this country, and worthy to weare a crowne of gold, for one
part that he played to one that was jealous over his wife. Hearken how
it was and then judge the diversity of these two Lovers: Know you not
one Barbarus a Senator of our towne, whom the vulgar people call
likewise Scorpion for his severity of manners? This Barbarus had a
gentlewoman to his wife, whom he caused daily to be enclosed within his
house, with diligent custody. Then the Bakers wife said, I know her
very well, for we two dwelleth together in one house: Then you know
(quoth the old woman) the whole tale of Philesiterus? No verily (said
she) but I greatly desire to know it: therefore I pray you mother tell
me the whole story. By and by the old woman which knew well to babble,
began to tell as followeth.