How Apuleius thinking to be turned into a Bird, was turned into an
Asse, and how he was led away by Theves.
After that I had well rubbed every part and member of my body, I
hovered with myne armes, and moved my selfe, looking still when I
should bee changed into a Bird as Pamphiles was, and behold neither
feathers nor appearance of feathers did burgen out, but verily my haire
did turne in ruggednesse, and my tender skin waxed tough and hard, my
fingers and toes losing the number of five, changed into hoofes, and
out of myne arse grew a great taile, now my face became monstrous, my
nosthrils wide, my lips hanging downe, and myne eares rugged with
haire: neither could I see any comfort of my transformation, for my
members encreased likewise, and so without all helpe (viewing every
part of my poore body) I perceived that I was no bird, but a plaine
Asse.
Then I thought to blame Fotis, but being deprived as wel of language as
of humane shape, I looked upon her with my hanging lips and watery
eyes. Who as soon as shee espied me in such sort, cried out, Alas poore
wretch that I am, I am utterly cast away. The feare I was in, and my
haste hath beguiled me, but especially the mistaking of the box, hath
deceived me. But it forceth not much, in regard a sooner medicine may
be gotten for this than for any other thing. For if thou couldst get a
rose and eat it, thou shouldst be delivered from the shape of an Asse,
and become my Lucius againe. And would to God I had gathered some
garlands this evening past, according to my custome, then thou shouldst
not continue an Asse one nights space, but in the morning I shall seek
some remedy. Thus Fotis lamented in pittifull sort, but I that was now
a perfect asse, and for Lucius a brute beast, did yet retaine the sence
and understanding of a man. And did devise a good space with my selfe,
whether it were best for me to teare this mischievous and wicked harlot
with my mouth, or to kicke and kill her with my heels. But a better
thought reduced me from so rash a purpose: for I feared lest by the
death of Fotis I should be deprived of all remedy and help. Then
shaking myne head, and dissembling myne ire, and taking my adversity in
good part, I went into the stable to my owne horse, where I found
another asse of Milos, somtime my host, and I did verily think that
mine owne horse (if there were any natural conscience or knowledge in
brute beasts) would take pitty on me, and profer me lodging for that
night: but it chanced far otherwise. For see, my horse and the asse as
it were consented together to work my harm, and fearing lest I should
eat up their provender, would in no wise suffer me to come nigh the
manger, but kicked me with their heels from their meat, which I my self
gave them the night before. Then I being thus handled by them, and
driven away, got me into a corner of the stable, where while I
remembred their uncurtesie, and how on the morrow I should return to
Lucius by the help of a Rose, when as I thought to revenge my selfe of
myne owne horse, I fortuned to espy in the middle of a pillar
sustaining the rafters of the stable the image of the goddesse Hippone,
which was garnished and decked round about with faire and fresh roses:
then in hope of present remedy, I leaped up with my fore feet as high
as I could, stretching out my neck, and with my lips coveting to snatch
some roses. But in an evill houre I did go about that enterprise, for
behold the boy to whom I gave charge of my horse, came presently in,
and finding me climbing upon the pillar, ranne fretting towards me and
said, How long shall wee suffer this wild Asse, that doth not onely eat
up his fellowes meat, but also would spoyl the images of the gods? Why
doe I not kill this lame theefe and weake wretch? And therewithall
looking about for some cudgel, hee espied where lay a fagot of wood,
and chusing out a crabbed truncheon of the biggest hee could finde, did
never cease beating of mee poore wretch, until such time as by great
noyse and rumbling, hee heard the doores of the house burst open, and
the neighbours crying in most lamentable sort, which enforced him being
stricken in feare, to fly his way. And by and by a troupe of theeves
entred in, and kept every part and corner of the house with weapons.
And as men resorted to aid and help them which were within the doores,
the theeves resisted and kept them back, for every man was armed with a
sword and target in his hand, the glimpses whereof did yeeld out such
light as if it had bin day. Then they brake open a great chest with
double locks and bolts, wherein was layd all the treasure of Milo, and
ransackt the same: which when they had done they packed it up and gave
every man a portion to carry: but when they had more than they could
beare away, yet were they loth to leave any behind, but came into the
stable, and took us two poore asses and my horse, and laded us with
greater trusses than wee were able to beare. And when we were out of
the house, they followed us with great staves, and willed one of their
fellows to tarry behind, and bring them tydings what was done
concerning the robbery: and so they beat us forward over great hils out
of the way. But I, what with my heavy burden and long journy, did
nothing differ from a dead asse: wherfore I determined with my self to
seek some civil remedy, and by invocation of the name of the prince of
the country to be delivered from so many miseries: and on a time I
passed through a great faire, I came among a multitude of Greeks, and I
thought to call upon the renowned name of the Emperor and say, O Cesar,
and cried out aloud O, but Cesar I could in no wise pronounce. The
Theeves little regarding my crying, did lay me on and beat my wretched
skinne in such sort, that after it was neither apt nor meet to make
Sives or Sarces. Howbeit at last Jupiter administred to me an unhoped
remedy. For when we had passed through many townes and villages, I
fortuned to espy a pleasant garden, wherein beside many other flowers
of delectable hiew, were new and fresh roses: and being very joyful,
and desirous to catch some as I passed by, I drew neerer and neerer:
and while my lips watered upon them, I thought of a better advice more
profitable for me, lest if from an asse I should become a man, I might
fall into the hands of the theeves, and either by suspition that I were
some witch, or for feare that I should utter their theft, I should be
slaine, wherefore I abstained for that time from eating of Roses, and
enduring my present adversity, I did eat hay as other Asses did.