Alone in tears sits Natalie, alas she has awakened from her dream of
bliss, to the sad reality that she is an unloved neglected wife, and
bitter very bitter is this dreadful truth to the poor little bird far
far from all who love her, for the wide ocean rolls between them, poor
little humming bird formed for sunshine and happiness, how cans't thou
bear this sad awakening. Ah cherished little one, with what bright hopes
of love and happiness dids't thou leave a sunny home, and are they gone
for ever, oh what depth of love in thy crushed and bleeding heart,
striving ever to hide beneath a sunny face thy aching heart, lest it
should grieve or vex the husband thou lovest so fondly, while he
heedlessly repelling the loving one whose happiness depends upon his
kindness, or impatiently receiving the fond caress, discerns not the
breaking heart nor the secret anguish this same indifference causes;
Ah Louis, Louis, should not one so bright and gentle, receive something
better than impatient gestures and harsh words, which send the stream of
love back with a thrilling pain to the heart, to consume it with silent
agony, and her hope has proved vain, her babe, her darling babe has not
accomplished what she fondly imagined, brought back her Louis's love,
if indeed she ever possessed it, and it is this thought which wrings her
gentle heart and causes those sobs of anguish, that make her fragile
form to quiver like an aspen, as the storm of grief will have its
course. If indeed he ever loved her, that he does not now is clear
enough; but did he ever, why should she doubt it, she has accidentally
heard the following remarks, and seen Louis pointed out as the object of
them:
He was engaged to a beautiful girl, but she was poor, so meeting with an
heiress, he was dazzled by the prospect of wealth and married her; but
the marriage had proved an unhappy one, that Mr. T---- had soon tired of
his gay little wife, and now treated her with the greatest indifference
and neglect, and that having married her solely for her money, he was as
much as ever attached to Miss ---- and bitterly repented his folly.
It may be true she sighed, for she knew in her heart that the part
regarding his treatment of herself was but alas too true; but could he
indeed love another, no, she would not believe it, she would dismiss the
thought, but still the words rung in her ears, having married her solely
for her money. Could Marie be right, but no, no, she would not, could
not believe it, O Louis, Louis, how have I loved you, how I love you
still, and is my love entirely unrequited? And now a new feeling springs
up in her heart, bitter hatred towards her unknown rival, with beating
heart and trembling lips she calls to mind the packet and Louis's
embarrassment, the beautiful miniature she had seen by accident, and his
evasive answers when questioned about the original, could she be the
Isabel he had named her darling after, in spite of all she could urge as
to her great dislike of the name. Oh that she could confide all her
troubles to him and tell him all her fears, and if possible have her
mind set at rest, but she dare not, for though she loved him so
devotedly, she feared him too, his fierce bursts of passion frightened
her. Oh I will win his love in spite of this hateful girl, I will be so
gentle, so careful to please him, so mindful of his comfort (as if poor
thing she had not always been so) that he shall forget her, and love his
own little wife, and wearied with conflicting emotions, she laid her
head upon the table and sobbed herself to sleep, and thus Louis found
her at two o'clock in the morning, when he returned from attending a
patient. "Good gracious! Natalie, what are you doing here," said he
raising her from her uncomfortable position, "why you are quite
chilled," he continued as a convulsive shudder shook her whole frame,
"what ever possessed you to sit up, and the fire out, how could you be
so foolish." She raised her large dark eyes to his with an expression
intensely sad and entreating, and whispered "O Louis, tell me do you
love me!" he could not bear the searching eagerness of that wistful
gaze, and turning from her answered "can you doubt it you silly little
thing, come, take the lamp and go to bed, while I get you something to
stop this shivering--he turned to go.
"Do not leave me, oh Louis, stay," she cried, and fell senseless on the
floor.
Through that night and for many long days and nights, Natalie lay in a
burning fever, and in the delirium caused by it she would beseech him to
love her, and again and again in the most pathetic manner entreat him
not to leave her, and say, it was very wicked of him not to love her,
why was it, what had she done to displease him, then murmur incoherent
words about a hateful girl, beautiful but poor that he loved, but not
his poor little Natalie, and then starting up with outstretched arms she
would implore him to be kind to her and love her.
Whether Louis felt any remorse at dooming a being so bright and fair to
such a miserable existence, or whether there was not more anger than
sorrow in that impenetrable calm none could tell; he was very attentive,
and tried to sooth with gentle words, but woe to any of the attendants
who dared to make any remark upon her in his hearing; all she said was
treated indifferently as the natural result of the disease, and the
nurse was commanded to be silent, when she presumed to say poor dear;
whatever passed amongst themselves, in his presence they maintained a
discreet silence. When Natalie recovered she was sweet and gentle as
ever, but a passive lasting melancholy took the place of her former
charming vivacity, henceforth life had lost its charm; with patient love
she bore with Louis's variable temper, and was never known to speak a
harsh word to little Isabel.