_Carvil seated. Bessie. Captain Hagberd (white beard, sail-cloth
jacket_).
Bessie (_Knitting_). You've been out this afternoon for quite a long
time, haven't you?
Capt. Hagberd (_Eager_). Yes, my dear. (_Slily_) Of course you saw me
come back.
Bessie. Oh, yes. I did see you. You had something under your coat.
Capt. H. (_Anxiously_). It was only a kettle, my dear. A tin
water-kettle. I am glad I thought of it just in time. (_Winks, nods_.)
When a husband gets back from his work he needs a lot of water for a
wash. See? (_Dignified_.) Not that Harry'll ever need to do a hand's
turn after he comes home... (_Falters--casts stealthy glances on all
sides_).... tomorrow.
Bessie (_Looks up, grave_). Captain Hagberd, have you ever thought that
perhaps your son will not. . .
Capt. H. (_Paternally_). I've thought of everything, my dear--of
everything a reasonable young couple may need for housekeeping. Why,
I can hardly turn about in my room up there, the house is that full.
(_Rubs his hands with satisfaction_.) For my son Harry--when he comes
home. One day more.
Bessie (_Flattering_). Oh, you are a great one for bargains. (_Captain
Hagberd delighted_.) But, Captain Hagberd--if--if--you don't know what
may happen--if all that home you've got together were to be wasted--for
nothing--after all. (_Aside_.) Oh, I can't bring it out.
Capt. H. (_Agitated; flings arms up, stamps feet; stuttering_). What?
What d'ye mean? What's going to happen to the things?
Bessie (_Soothing_). Nothing! Nothing! Dust--or moth--you know. Damp,
perhaps. You never let anyone into the house . . .
Capt. H. Dust! Damp! (_Has a throaty, gurgling laugh_.) I light the
fires and dust the things myself. (_Indignant_.) Let anyone into the
house, indeed! What would Harry say! (_Walks up and down his garden
hastily with tosses, jings, and jerks of his whole body_.)
Bessie (_With authority_.) Now, then, Captain Hagberd! You know I won't
put up with your tantrums. (_Shakes finger at him_.)
Capt. H. (_Subdued, but still sulky, with his back to her_). You want
to see the things. That's what you're after. Well, no, not even you. Not
till Harry has had his first look.
Bessie. Oh, no! I don't. (_Relenting_.) Not till you're willing.
(_Smiles at Capt. H., who has turned half round already!_) You mustn't
excite yourself. (_Knits_.)
Capt. H. (_Condescending_). And you the only sensible girl for miles and
miles around. Can't you trust me? I am a domestic man. Always was, my
dear. I hated the sea. People don't know what they let their boys into
when they send them to sea. As soon make convicts of them at once. What
sort of life is it? Most of your time you don't know what's going on at
home. (_Insinuating_.) There's nothing anywhere on earth as good as a
home, my dear. (_Pause_.) With a good husband...
Carvil (_Heard from his seat fragmentarily_). There they go... jabber,
jabber... mumble, mumble. (_With a groaning effort?_) Helpless!
Capt. H. (_Mutters_). Extravagant ham and eggs fellow. (_Louder_.) Of
course it isn't as if he had a son to make a home ready for. Girls are
different, my dear. They don't run away, my dear, my dear. (_Agitated_.)
Bessie (_Drops her arms wearily_). No, Captain Hagberd--they don't.
Capt. H. (_Slowly_). I wouldn't let my own flesh and blood go to sea.
Not I.
Bessie. And the boy ran away.
Capt. H. (_A little vacantly_). Yes, my only son Harry. (_Rouses
himself_.) Coming home to-morrow.
Bessie (_Speaks softly_). Sometimes, Captain Hagberd, a hope turns out
false.
Capt. H. (_Uneasy_). What's that got to do with Harry's coming back?
Bessie. It's good to hope for something. But suppose now-------(_Feeling
her way_.) Yours is not the only lost son that's never...
Capt. H. Never what! You don't believe he's drowned. (_Crouches, glaring
and grasping the rails_.)
Bessie (_Frightened, drops knitting_). Captain Hagberd--don't. (_Catches
hold of his shoulders over the railings?_) Don't--my God! He's going out
of his mind! (_Cries_.) I didn't mean it! I don't know.
Capt. H. (_Has backed away. An affected burst of laughter_). What
nonsense. None of us Hagberds belonged to the sea. All farmers for
hundreds of years, (_fraternal and cunning?_) Don't alarm yourself, my
dear. The sea can't get us. Look at me! I didn't get drowned. Moreover,
Harry ain't a sailor at all. And if he isn't a sailor, he's bound to
come back--to-morrow.
Bessie (_Has been facing him; murmurs_). No. I give it up. He scares me.
(_Aloud, sharply_.) Then I would give up that advertising in the papers.
Capt. H. (_Surprised and puzzled_). Why, my dear? Everybody does it. His
poor mother and I have been advertising for years and years. But she was
an impatient woman. She died.
Bessie. If your son's coming, as--as you say--what's the good of that
expense? You had better spend that half-crown on yourself. I believe you
don't eat enough.
Capt. H. (_Confused_). But it's the right thing to do. Look at the
Sunday papers. Missing relatives on top page--all proper. (_Looks
unhappy_.)
Bessie (_Tartly_). Ah, well! I declare I don't know what you live on.
Capt. H. Are you getting impatient, my dear? Don't get impatient--like
my poor wife. If she'd only been patient she'd be here. Waiting. Only
one day more. (_Pleadingly_.) Don't be impatient, my dear.
Bessie. I've no patience with you sometimes.
Capt. H. (_Flash of lucidity_). Why? What's the matter? (_Sympathetic_.)
You're tired out, my dear, that's what it is.
Bessie. Yes, I am. Day after day. (_Stands listless, arms hanging
down_.)
Capt. H. (_Timidly_). House dull?
Bessie (_Apathetic_). Yes.
Capt. H. (_As before_). H'm. Wash, cook, scrub. Hey?
Bessie (_As before_). Yes.
Capt. H. (_Pointing stealthily at the sleeping Carvil_). Heavy?
Bessie. (_In a dead voice_). Like a millstone.
(_A silence_.)
Capt. H. (_Burst of indignation_). Why don't that extravagant fellow get
you a servant?
Bessie. I don't know.
Capt. H. (_Cheerily_). Wait till Harry comes home. He'll get you one.
Bessie (_Almost hysterical; laughs_). Why, Captain Hagberd, perhaps your
son won't even want to look at me--when he comes home.
Capt. H. (_In a great voice_). What! (_Quite low_.) The boy wouldn't
dare. (_Rising choler_.) Wouldn't dare to refuse the only sensible girl
for miles around. That stubborn jackanapes refuse to marry a girl like
you! (_Walks about in a fury_.) You trust me, my dear, my dear, my dear.
I'll make him. I'll--I'll -------- (_Splutters_.) Cut him off with a
shilling.
Bessie. Hush! (_Severe_.) You mustn't talk like that. What's this? More
of your tantrums?
Capt. H. (_Quite humble_). No, no--this isn't my tantrums--when I don't
feel quite well in my head. Only I can't stand this... I've grown as
fond of you as if you'd been the wife of my Harry already.
And to be told-------- (_Cant restrain himself; shouts_.)
Jackanapes!
Bessie. Sh--------! Don't you worry! (_Wearily_.)
I must give that up too, I suppose. (_Aloud_.) I didn't mean it, Captain
Hagberd.
Capt. H. It's as if I were to have two children to-morrow. My son
Harry--and the only sensible girl--------. Why, my dear, I couldn't get
on without you. We two are reasonable together. The rest of the
people in this town are crazy. The way they stare at you. And the
grins--they're all on the grin. It makes me dislike to go
out. (_Bewildered_.) It seems as if there was something wrong
about--somewhere. My dear, is there anything wrong--you who are
sensible.. .
Bessie (_Soothingly tender_). No, no, Captain Hagberd. There is nothing
wrong about you anywhere.
Carvil (_Lying back_). Bessie! (_Sits up_.) Get my hat, Bessie....
Bessie, my hat.... Bessie.... Bessie. ...
(_At the first sound Bessie picks up and puts away her knitting. She
walks towards him, picks up hat, puts it on his head_).
Bessie, my... (_Hat on head; shouting stops_.) Bessie. (_Quietly_). Will
you go in, now? Carvil. Help me up. Steady. I'm dizzy. It's the thundery
weather. An autumn thunderstorm means a bad gale. Very fierce--and
sudden. There will be shipwrecks to-night on our coast.
(_Exit Bessie and Carvil through door of their cottage. It has fallen
dusk_.)
Capt. H. (_Picks up spade_). Extravagant fellow! And all this town is
mad--perfectly mad. I found them out years ago. Thank God they don't
come this way staring and grinning. I can't bear them. I'll never go
again into that High Street. (_Agitated_.) Never, never, never. Won't
need to after to-morrow. Never! (_Flings down spade in passion_.)
(_While Hagberd speaks, the bow window of the Carvils is lit up, and
Bessie is seen settling her father in a big armchair. Pulls down blind.
Enter Lamplighter. Capt. H. picks up the spade and leans forward on it
with both hands; very still, watching him light the lamp_.)
Lamplighter (_Jocular_). There! You will be able to dig by lamplight if
the fancy takes you.
(_Exit Lamplighter to back_.)
Capt. H. (_Disgusted_). Ough! The people here. . . (_Shudders_.)
Lamplighter's Voice (_Heard loudly beyond the cottages_). Yes, that's
the way.
(_Enter Harry from back_.)