"And now he's sorry for it! But I bear the fellow no ill-will at all. He
fences very well; ah! he's an excellent blade!"
"And you will allow him to come to offer his apologies?"
"Willingly; but listen: only on condition that he will tell me who the
two seconds were that he brought with him. You can't form an idea,
madame, of those two men, who certainly had never assisted at such a
performance before! It was enough to make you burst with laughing. De
Gervier was much amused; but De Maugrille was on the point of losing his
temper; he wanted to fight them. It was altogether funny, I assure you."
"Then you are willing that Monsieur Cherami should come to see you?"
"Yes, on the condition I have suggested."
"He will readily agree to that, I fancy; he is to come to me to-morrow
morning to learn your reply, and I will send him to you."
"Very good! I must say that this Monsieur Cherami seemed to me no less
clever than original."
Cherami did not fail to return to Madame Monleard's on the following
day; she told him that Monsieur de la Beriniere consented to receive
him, on condition that he would tell him who his seconds were.
"And now," said the widow, "how do you propose to restore the count's
health and good-humor?"
"Never fear, madame," replied Beau Arthur; "that is my business; the
count needs to be set up mentally, as well as physically. He's like an
old clock that won't go; but as long as the mainspring isn't broken,
there's a way out of the difficulty; I'll set him going."
On leaving Fanny, Cherami took a cab and drove to the Palais-Royal,
where he went into Corselet's and purchased a half-bottle of the finest
chartreuse; then he removed the label, the seal, and everything which
could lead to the identification of the liqueur, put the bottle in his
pocket, and repaired to Rue de la Ville-l'Eveque, saying to himself:
"It comes high; but one cannot make too many sacrifices when it's a
question of ensuring a friend's happiness. I have only a hundred and
fifty francs left of Gustave's thousand; but I will spend them with the
best will in the world, if I can by that means induce our elderly lover
to marry the little widow."
Monsieur de la Beriniere was informed that Monsieur Cherami craved the
favor of an interview.
"Show him in," said the count.
Cherami, fashionably dressed and perfumed as in his halcyon days,
presented himself before the count, who stepped forward to meet him.
"I beg you, monsieur le comte, do not rise! I understand that you are
still weak; and I am too fortunate in being allowed to pay my respects
to you and to offer my apologies for my insane behavior toward you."
"Let us say no more about it, Monsieur Cherami; you wanted a duel with
me, and you had it--it's all over with now. Pray be seated, and just
tell me, between ourselves, who those two individuals were who acted as
your seconds? You will agree that their aspect--their whole manner--was
very comical; and I would stake my head that it was the first time they
were ever present at a duel."
"Faith! that's the truth, monsieur le comte; but what would you have?
Everybody that I relied upon failed me, and I had no choice; I
persuaded, albeit with much difficulty, those two men of business to
attend me on the field of honor."
"Who were the fellows?"
"The elder, monsieur le comte, deals in water from Mont-Dore on a large
scale; the younger is his clerk."
"Are they Auvergnats?"
"Yes, monsieur le comte."
"I would have bet anything on it. However, the younger one is as strong
as an ox, apparently, for they tell me that he carried me in his arms to
my carriage."
"That is true; he is very strong.--Is monsieur le comte's wound entirely
cured?"
"Yes, it has cicatrized. But our meeting was six weeks ago, and my
strength doesn't come back."
"Monsieur le comte, will you allow me to make you an offer?"
"What sort of an offer is it?"
"I have fought duels quite often in the course of my life."
"Oh! I believe it."
"I have been wounded several times."
"You fence very well, however; but one sometimes thrusts awkwardly."
"Well, monsieur le comte, a dear old cousin of mine, who was very fond
of me in spite of my escapades, made me a present of a liquid, by the
aid of which I was always on my feet in a very short time, even after
the most severe wound."
"The deuce you say!"
"I have used it whenever I have been wounded, and it has never failed me
yet."
"What is it made of?"
"I have no idea; that was my old cousin's secret, and she died without
confiding it to me. But it must be very healthful, as it always cured
me."
"Have you still got any of this liquid?"
"I have kept a few half-bottles of it, as a priceless treasure; and here
is one of them, which I have taken the liberty of bringing, in the hope
that monsieur le comte will have confidence in me."
"Faith, why not?"
"I shall have the honor to taste it first with monsieur le comte, to
make sure that it isn't spoiled."
Monsieur de la Beriniere ordered liqueur-glasses to be brought. Cherami
filled them with the superfine chartreuse, and swallowed a glass
himself.
"That's good, very good!" said the count, after drinking his glass. "But
it seems to me that it has just the same taste as chartreuse."
"It is true, monsieur le comte, that there is a little similarity while
you are drinking it; but afterward the bouquet, the taste, is not the
same at all."
"Possibly not. I never drank much chartreuse; I take liqueur very
rarely."
"Then this will have all the more effect. It is a decoction of simples,
of strengthening herbs, I fancy. My old cousin used often to go
botanizing."
"It smells of liverwort too."
"It does, and that is very strengthening."
"It feels very warm in the chest. I seem already to feel stronger, more
lively."
"It works very quickly."
"How much must I drink to be entirely cured?"
"Why, you must take this half-bottle."
"In how long a time?"
"In three days."
"Drink all that in three days!"
"Oh! this bottle doesn't hold much. Drink four small glasses to-day;
to-morrow, five; the day after to-morrow, six or seven; and that will
take it all. But don't mention my old cousin's remedy to your doctor. He
would be sure to sneer at it; doctors are never willing that you should
be cured with things that they don't prescribe."
"I know that. But, upon my word, I do feel much better."
"Take a second glass at once, and the others after dinner."
"Well, I will submit to your prescription. Yes, it has a very different
taste from chartreuse; it's sweeter."
"The more you drink of it, the better you will like it."
"It is delicious; your old cousin left you something of great value."
"She passed all her time compounding remedies. This will give you an
appetite too. You can eat a lot, and everything; it would digest a
stone."
"Enchanting! On my word of honor! I feel my legs twitching. It seems to
me that I could dance."
"The day after to-morrow, you will be in a condition to dance. Permit me
to return a few days hence, monsieur le comte, to inquire for your
health?"
"Whenever you choose, Monsieur Cherami; you are an excellent doctor, and
I feel better already for your medicine."
"Au revoir, then, monsieur le comte! follow my prescription carefully."
"Oh! I shall take good care not to forget it."
Cherami took his leave, saying to himself:
"It can't possibly hurt him; it will warm him up a little, that's all;
and he needs it, he was turning to pulp."
LIX
WHAT WAS SURE TO HAPPEN
The young widow was preparing to call on the count on the day following
that on which she had sent Cherami to him, being very curious to know if
he had already improved her fiance's health, when her maid announced
Monsieur de la Beriniere.
Fanny could not restrain a cry of surprise when the count entered her
apartment as briskly as before his duel. It was the second day of the
chartreuse treatment, and the count had taken three glasses before
leaving home; that liqueur, which is really very strengthening when used
with moderation, had restored his vigor; it had revived his mental
powers; and Monsieur de la Beriniere, overjoyed at a change which he
took as evidence of a return to his normal condition, had determined to
go in person to inform the young widow of it.
Fanny expressed all the joy she felt at finding him restored to health.
"Yes, I am feeling very well," said Monsieur de la Beriniere. "My
strength is coming back with a rapidity that surprises me. Would you
believe, dear lady, that our good friend Monsieur Cherami is the one to
whom I owe it all?"
"Can it be? Is he a doctor?"
"No; but he has a potion left him by an old cousin, which restores
convalescents to full health in a twinkling. I have been taking it only
two days, and I am a different man. To-morrow, Tuesday, I shall finish
the bottle; and at the end of the week, I will lead you to the altar. I
will make all my arrangements accordingly."
"Oh! how happy I am to have you entirely well again! You have recovered
your former amiability, your merry humor."
"Yes, I have recovered a lot of things; and when I have taken the rest
of my elixir, you'll have a husband of twenty-five!"
"Indeed, you seem hardly more than that to-day."
"Really, you are too kind! I preferred to come myself to tell you of
this blessed change. Now I must leave you, to go to my banker's. I must
make him give me a lot of money, for I propose to cover you with jewelry
and fine clothes."
"Oh! monsieur le comte, don't be foolish, I beg!"
"It's not foolish, simply to try to please you. Ah! to-morrow, what
quantities of things I will buy, and perhaps I shall not have the
pleasure of seeing you; but expect me the day after to-morrow, about
noon, with all my little gewgaws."
"You are always welcome, monsieur le comte."
Monsieur de la Beriniere took his leave after kissing the young widow's
hand; while she abandoned herself without reserve to the most intense
delight.
"At last," she cried, "I am going to be a countess! Oh! that Monsieur
Cherami is a delightful man! And when I am a countess and have my
carriage and forty thousand francs a year, which I won't lose by
speculating in stocks, then father won't think that I did wrong to
refuse a second time to marry Gustave; for, in this world, it seems to
me that it is one's duty to think of one's self first."
When the count woke on the third day of the new treatment, he was amazed
to find that he felt almost as weak as before he began to drink the
precious liquid; he did not realize that the strength which it gave him
was purely artificial and vanished with the spirits which it contained.
He summoned his valet, bade him give him the precious bottle, drank two
glasses in quick succession, and soon felt revivified.
"I will drink it all to-day!" said the count to himself, while his valet
was dressing him.--"How many more glasses are there in the bottle,
Francois?"
"I should think there were at least six, monsieur le comte, besides the
two you have drunk."
"That will make eight; but I shall be as lively as a cricket."
"Doesn't monsieur think that it may excite him too much?"
"No, no! Mere herbs! they're very strengthening! Give me a glass."
"Here it is, monsieur le comte."
"Ah! it's good! I am beginning to like it much. It's an extraordinary
thing, the good it does me. I feel like pirouetting, Francois."
"Don't do it, monsieur; it would make you dizzy."
"Let us see: I have a lot of errands to do to-day, tradesmen to see,
gifts to buy for my bride that is to be; for I am to be married on
Saturday, Francois!"
"Indeed! so much the better, monsieur."
"I am going to make a list of the things I want to buy. I shall have a
tiresome day. Give me another glass, Francois."
"Yes, monsieur."
"I don't know just where I shall dine to-day. I think I shall not come
back here."
"At Madame Monleard's, perhaps?"
"Oh, no! that would embarrass her. I will dine at a restaurant, with the
first friend I happen to meet. Have you ordered the carriage?"
"Yes, monsieur; it is waiting for you."
"I am off. Pardieu! another glass before I go."
"Monsieur is very much flushed now."
"So much the better! That's my natural color coming back. Just put the
bottle in the carriage; I will finish it while I do my errands."
The count swallowed his fifth glass of chartreuse, made a
demi-pirouette, and almost fell, because he was very dizzy; but his
valet held him up, and he finally succeeded, after much bumping against
walls, in reaching his carriage, into which he threw himself, saying:
"Deuce take me! I believe I am quite capable of climbing a greased
pole!"
The day was passed by the future bridegroom in visiting emporiums of
jewelry, laces, and shawls; he gave his orders, and from the multitude
of those pretty trifles which are said to be necessaries of life, and
with which ladies adorn their whatnots, he made a selection well
calculated to flatter her who was to bear his name. This took a great
deal of time, but he found leisure to finish the bottle he had brought
with him; he had an unfamiliar burning sensation in his breast; he was
tremendously thirsty, and said to himself:
"I will drink seltzer with my dinner."
About five o'clock, as he was leaving a famous fancy-goods shop, he
spied his two seconds, Messieurs de Maugrille and de Gervier, coming
toward him arm in arm. He went forward eagerly to meet them.
"Good afternoon, messieurs! Where are you going?"
"Why, we are going to dine."
"With friends?"
"No; at the first restaurant we see, provided that it's a good one."
"Then you will give me the pleasure of dining with me; we will celebrate
my recovery and my approaching marriage."
"So be it."
"Get into my carriage; we can sit close together. I will take you to
Philippe's; will that suit you?"
"Perfectly; one can dine very well there."
They entered the carriage. As they drove along, Monsieur de Maugrille
glanced very often at the count. Finally, he said to him:
"Are you completely cured?"
"As you see."
"Your face seems to me very much flushed; your eyes gleam with
supernatural brilliancy."
"That's the result of the medicine I have been taking; a very agreeable
remedy, I give you my word."
"Something that your doctor prescribed?"
"No; I got it from my opponent, Monsieur Cherami."
"Your opponent! You have seen him again?"
"To be sure; we are the best of friends. He's a hot-head, but a very
good fellow."
"Did you ask him who those two Mohicans were who acted as his seconds?"
"Yes; one was a rich landed proprietor of Auvergne, who sends water here
from Mont-Dore; the other was his clerk."
"Ah, yes! the so-called Pole, Monsieur de Chamousky. I shall know those
two worthies again."
They arrived at Philippe's. The count ordered a dainty dinner, with
wines of the finest vintages; and as he felt very thirsty, he deemed it
advisable to begin with champagne frappe. His guests celebrated the
count's recovery, and drank to his future bride; Monsieur de Gervier,
who was in very high spirits, insisted on drinking to Cherami's seconds,
whom he felt sure of meeting some day, when he proposed to buy some
Mont-Dore water of them. The count did not spare himself, but tossed off
glass after glass of champagne, crying:
"This is the end of my bachelor life!"
"Be careful, my dear De la Beriniere," said Monsieur de Maugrille; "for
a convalescent, you go rather fast; you don't spare yourself at all."
"I have never felt so well."
Suddenly Monsieur de Gervier, who had gone to the window for a breath of
air, burst into a roar of Homeric laughter, and shouted:
"There they are; yes, those are they; I recognize them."
"Who, pray?"
"The dealers in Mont-Dore water. Come, look at them! they're going along
the street, and their cask with them."
Monsieur de Maugrille looked out, and exclaimed in dire wrath:
"Water-carriers! they were water-carriers!"
The count, having also looked out, declared that he did not recognize
them; at last, Monsieur de Gervier observed:
"Oh, well! to be sure, it isn't Mont-Dore water that they sell; but,
after all, it's a kind of water that's even more indispensable. For my
part, this makes the affair all the more amusing, and that duel will be
one of my most delightful recollections."
Monsieur de Maugrille made a wry face and held his peace, and the count
returned to the table.
"Come, messieurs," he said, "this need not prevent our drinking to my
approaching happiness; it's extraordinary how thirsty I am to-night!"
The dinner lasted until a late hour, but at last they left the table and
parted: Monsieur de Gervier going to see his Dulcineas, Monsieur de
Maugrille to play his game of whist, and the count to bed; he was very
tired.
It was Wednesday, and the pretty widow was awaiting all the gifts which
her fiance had promised her.
"I flatter myself that it won't be to-day as it was that other time,"
she thought; "I shall not wait in vain. He won't have another duel on
his hands; there's nobody to challenge him now. Monsieur Cherami is on
my side; he wants me to marry the count. It's strange how he has turned
about; perhaps he has had a row with Gustave; the main point is that he
has kept his promise; he has restored Monsieur de la Beriniere's health,
and that's a service I shall not forget."
But the clock struck twelve, and one, and two; and neither the
bridegroom nor his presents appeared. Fanny paced her room impatiently,
muttering:
"Oh! what a bore it is to wait! It may not be the count's fault, but for
some time past it has seemed as if I were destined to be vexed and
thwarted all the time."
When the clock struck four, the young woman could restrain her
impatience no longer.
"Justine," she said to her maid, "you must hurry to Monsieur de la
Beriniere's again and find out what has happened, what prevents him from
coming. I can't pass my whole life waiting for that man. Go quickly,
take a cab by the hour. I am ruining myself in cabs for him; it's to be
hoped that he will make it up to me."
Justine obeyed her mistress; but when she returned, it was with a
woe-begone face, as before.
"Mon Dieu! what has happened now?" cried Fanny.
"Monsieur le comte returned home late last night, about ten o'clock,
madame, with a violent headache; he had been dining at a restaurant. He
was hardly in bed when he had an attack of fever, followed by delirium;
they sent for the doctor, who said that he had indigestion, inflammation
of the intestines, and also of the lungs. In fact, he's very ill."
"Oh! Justine, what an unlucky creature I am! The idea of having
indigestion just when you are going to be married!"
"It's inexcusable, madame."
"And to think that it has come just when everything was ready! There are
people with him, I suppose?"
"Oh! yes, madame."
"Do you think that I might go there this evening?"
"What's the use, madame, when he is delirious? He wouldn't know you."
"All right! I will go to-morrow. Ah! I am really greatly to be pitied."
Three days later, on Saturday, Cherami betook himself to Rue de la
Ville-l'Eveque, to see what effect the tonic had had on the count.
"It was on Sunday that I gave it to him," he reflected; "he must be
vigorous and lively now, or else he never will be."
According to his custom, Cherami did not stop to speak to the concierge;
he went up to the count's reception-room, and found there the valet de
chambre holding a handkerchief to his eyes.
"What's the trouble, my friend; how's your master?"
"Monsieur le comte died last night," the valet replied, with a sigh.
"Died!" cried Cherami. "What do you mean? Dead so soon! What in the
devil did he die of?"
"Inflammation, indigestion. He took to his bed on Tuesday night, and the
doctor said at once there was no hope."
"Poor count! Ah! that really causes me great distress.--It may be,"
thought Cherami, as he went away, "that we heated the oven a little too
hot."
LX
THE RETURN OF ULYSSES
A month had passed since the Comte de la Beriniere's death. Was it from
grief? was it from anger? Madame Monleard had shut herself up in her
apartment ever since, and had been to see no one, not even her father or
her sister. She must have known, however, that Adolphine would be the
first to sympathize with her woes; but unfeeling persons never believe
in the keen sensibility of others; and if anybody seems to pity them,
they are always convinced that, in reality, that person rejoices in
their misfortune. The proverb rightly says that we judge others by
ourselves.
Monsieur Batonnin, who was always the first to be informed of anything
that happened to disturb his friends or acquaintances, learned of the
count's death very soon after it occurred, and went at once to Monsieur
Gerbault's.
"Have you heard of the cruel accident, the misfortune that has befallen
your elder daughter?" he said. "The Comte de la Beriniere is dead, and
before he had married her."
"I should say," rejoined Monsieur Gerbault, "that the misfortune was the
count's, not my daughter's."
"Oh! of course; but, after all, the count was no longer a young man;
while your daughter was going to be a countess and have forty thousand
francs a year; and I believe that the count agreed to make a will when
he married her, making her his heir. A woman doesn't find such a husband
every day."
"Monsieur Batonnin, it's a sad business to speculate on the death of the
person one marries!"
"That is true, it's very sad; but still it's done."
"You may say what you please; I do not pity my daughter."
"You astonish me!"
Adolphine, finding that her sister did not come, went to see her; but
the concierge always said to her: "Madame Monleard has gone out;" and
the girl understood at last that her sister did not choose to see her.
One morning, Cherami was preparing to go out, when Madame Louchard came
up to his room, and said, with an air of mystery:
"There's a person below who wants to know if you are visible; and I came
up to make sure that you were dressed from top to toe."
"Who is this person, pray, who makes so much fuss about coming to my
room?"
"A pretty young woman."
"A pretty young woman coming to call on me! Ah! my excellent hostess,
methinks I have returned to the days of my early prowess!"
"I'll go and tell her to come up."
"One moment! Let me brush my hair a little, straighten the parting, and
see if my whiskers are well combed."
"Look at the flirt!"
"It is never wrong to beautify one's self. Go, show this lady up. I have
my cue!"
A lady of small stature, very well dressed, and of distinguished
bearing, soon entered Cherami's room; when she was sure that he was
alone, she raised her veil, saying:
"Good-morning, monsieur! do you recognize me?"
"God bless my soul! it's Madame Monleard, the fascinating widow. Pray be
seated, fair lady; excuse me if I do not receive you in a palace, but
for the moment I have only this hovel at my disposal. To what am I
indebted for the honor of your visit?"
"I desired to have a little conversation with you. Such a melancholy
thing has happened since we last met."
"Don't speak of it! The poor count's death upset me completely; I
couldn't believe it."
"Especially as he seemed to be entirely restored to health. What was it
that you gave him to take, in heaven's name?"
"Mon Dieu! just plain chartreuse--an excellent, strengthening liqueur.
But it seems that he dined with two friends, that he did not spare
himself, that the champagne made him ill, and----"
"Well, he's dead; we must make the best of it. But it is doubly
unfortunate for me. I lose a great fortune, a title, which I had in my
grasp."
"True; you lose all that!"
"And then I--I also lose--I lose--the husband with whom I broke off
relations--in order to become a countess."
"True--you lose both. You are almost thrice a widow."
"And yet, it seems to me that I was excusable for being blinded for a
moment by ambition. Mon Dieu! who in this world has not been? We all
want to raise ourselves."
"That is the first thing to which we aspire when we are born."
"Monsieur Cherami, are you still on friendly terms with Gustave?"
"With Gustave? Oh! ours is a friendship for life and death; there will
never be any break in our friendship. He's a man for whom I would throw
myself into the fire."
"Ah! that is very fine. And tell me, do you know whether he will return
to Paris soon?"
"Hum! I see what you are driving at!" thought Cherami, stroking his
whiskers.
"Why, no, I don't," he replied. "According to what I learned at his
uncle's house, it seems that Gustave, instead of returning to France, is
going to Russia, where he will probably stay a long time--perhaps a year
or two--or four."
Fanny made a gesture of disgust.