["In the office he held, which in reality was much too heavy
for any single man to bear, it was necessary to live almost a
monastic life, and the eight hours which some persons regarded
as a maximum of toil seemed to those who occupied that
position a dim and distant and golden vision."--_Lord
Rosebery, at the opening of the Battersea Town Hall_.]
_The Missis soliloquiseth_:--
Ah! he's really the usefullest boy, that
young PRIMROSE, that ever we've had,
And I'm sure I don't know, not sometimes,
how we'd get along, but for that lad!
So willing, and so civil-spoken, yet none too
much given to mag.
He does the House credit all round, and I'm
sure he's the pick o' the bag.
Gets through his own work without
worrit, and then he's so good at odd jobs!
Which some servants are awfully uppish, and
thinks themselves no end of nobs.
But PRIMROSE is pleasant and modest, you
know where the boy's to be found,
And there's nothing he won't turn his hand
to, to make things agreeable all round.
Heigho! How I wish----But no matter!
Young PRIMROSE, he _knows_ such a lot,
And he seems to be trusted by all, which
some of us, I fear,--well, are _not_.
There is WILLIAM, the butler, and John, now;
they 're excellent servants, of course,
Yet they don't seem as happy as PRIMROSE,
although the boy works like a horse!
_His_ task's to attend to the door, which needs
wonderful quickness and tact;
For our visitors, foreign and others, _are_
troublesome, that is a fact.
But Russian, or Frenchman, or L.C.C. boss
from out Battersea way,
Or a working-man out of a job, PRIMMY
always knows just what to say.
He's a treasure, that boy; and I'm always
a-putting fresh work on his back!
There's this Coal Question now! Awful
worry! He has such a wonderful knack
I am sure he might settle _that_ shindy. If
so he will just be a jewel!
If pig-headedness holds on _both_ sides, we
shall presently run out of fuel.
If he can "conciliate" them, it will truly be
very good biz:
And so I've _suggested_--no more!--that "the
boy"--ah! by Jove, here he is!
Poor chap! Two big scuttles--up-stairs!
He must find it a terrible pull,
With _his_ work too! But if he succeeds--well,
the cup of his credit is full.
Ah, PRIMROSE, my boy! This _is_ good of you!
Two at a time, too. Oh, dear!--
It is not just _your_ work, I'll allow, and you
find they are heavy, I fear.
But you know what a bother it's been. Some
chaps are such obstinate souls!--
But I was quite sure that _you_ wouldn't mind
stooping to--taking up coals!
* * * * *
Why does LOBENGULA, when finding fault with his regiments, appear a
great commander? Because then he is an Impi rater.
* * * * *