_Q._ I want to consult you about Flats. You must know all about them,
as you have tried this kind of "high life" for a year. And I am quite
charmed with the idea of getting one. Now, don't you find that they
have many advantages over the old-fashioned separate house system?
_A._ Oh, a great many!
_Q._ I suppose that even in such paradises a few drawbacks do exist?
_A._ A few. For instance, did you notice, during your painful progress
upstairs, a doctor coming out of the rooms just below us? No? Then you
were fortunate. There's a typhoid case there, we hear.
_Q._ Dear me! Now I think of it, I did meet a woman dressed as a
hospital nurse. But she was coming down from somewhere above you.
_A._ Yes. The people over our heads. It's a scarlet fever patient they
have, I believe. We can hear the nurse moving about in the middle
of the night. And chemists' boys with medicines call at our door, by
mistake, at all hours.
_Q._ Still, they can't get in. Your flat is your castle, surely?
_A._ Quite so. It's a pity it isn't a roomier castle. Our bedrooms are
like cupboards, and look out on a dark court. We have to keep the gas
burning there all day.
_Q._ Oh, indeed! But then, being on one floor, living must be much
cheaper, because you can do with only one servant?
_A._ That is true; but we find that the difficulty is to get servants
to do with us. They hate being mastheaded like this; they miss the
area, and the talks with the tradesmen, and so on.
_Q._ But they must go downstairs to take dust and cinders away?
_A._ No, those go down the shoot. At least, a good many of the cinders
do, though some seem to stop on the way. Our downstair neighbours
complain horribly, and threaten to summon us.
_Q._ Do they? On the whole, however, you find your fellow-residents
obliging?
_A._ Oh, very! The landing window leads to some disputes. We like it
open. The people upstairs prefer it shut. The case comes on at the
police court next week.
_Q._ You surprise me! Then, as regards other expenses, you save, don't
you, by paying no rates?
_A._ We do. That is why our landlord charges us for these eight rooms
on one floor just double what we should have to pay for a large house
all to ourselves.
_Q._ Thanks for giving me so much information. Of course, I knew there
must be some disadvantages. And you won't be surprised to hear that we
have taken a flat after all, as they are so fashionable?
_A._ On the contrary, I should be quite surprised if you didn't.
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