SOME PRACTICAL JOKES.
"A little devilment now and then,
Is indulged in by the best of men."
--ANON.
A crowd of men were assembled in the main street of the Settlement one
night, and as everything was very quiet, and the place seemed to be
practically dead, they decided to try and make some fun. A crotchety
old couple lived in a house not far away, so it was suggested and
agreed that a commencement be made on them. Two tom-cats were caught
and knotted together with wire, and swung across the knob of the
front door. There was a continuous strain of cats' music for a few
seconds, and then Old ---- opened the door, only to receive a nasty
scratch from one of the cats as he did it. The crowd lay in ambush
watching the proceedings, and enjoying the fun immensely, and the next
thing they saw was a knife on the end of a stick being used to cut the
cats asunder; but wire was not so easily cut, and this only tended to
increase the music, as one of the "toms" received a gash occasionally.
Finally, when everything failed, he got a clothes-prop and lifted them
off the door-knob, carried them down to the wharf, and hurled them into
the river. So the play ended.
Two conspicuous individuals in the Settlement were always quarrelling
over a girl, so it was decided to persuade them to fight a duel, and
this was arranged after a little difficulty. An hour was then appointed
on a certain day, when they should both put in an appearance on the
beach, there to settle all disputes. The day came, and the men turned
up. Two pistols were handed to them, each one being loaded with thick
bullock's blood, and a substantial wad separating it from the powder.
The two stood up, shook hands, then walked a few paces, and, turning
round, fired at each other. Both were now besmattered with blood, and
thought that they were really wounded. I thought the spectators would
never stop laughing, but at last the duellers saw through the joke, and
after this similar events were at a standstill.
"Flash ----" was a well-known character in the Settlement in former
days, and was a carpenter by trade. He built a house for a colonel's
wife once, and when it was finished she would not pay him. But he had
bought liquor from her on several occasions, and when she refused to
pay him he informed on her, and she was fined £30 for sly-grog selling.
A tall old fellow, named S----, used to be a kind of "flunky" in Port
Macquarie, and he was a great rum-drinker. His bed was near the window
in a house facing the main street. Fish were biting well, and one night
a shovel-nosed shark was landed. This old fellow was lying in his bed
drunk, so it was arranged to have some fun with him. The shark was
carried up; one of the crowd raised the window gently and pulled the
blankets off him, while another lowered the shark in on top of him.
The fish naturally began to wriggle, and all that the crowd heard as
they made a hurried exit, was "Murder!" "murder!!" The next morning a
lifeless shark lay scenting the street gutter.