Appoint a Poet Laureate, some prate,
But that's impossible, and wise men know it,
Because, 'midst many a would-be Laureate,
We cannot find a--Poet!
Well, there is _one_; but him both Whig and Tory hate;
Whence he, although a Poet, is not Laureate!
And, after all, JOHN BULL is little loth
To wait, until he finds one who is both.
For, after TENNYSON, the choice, we see,
Doth lie 'twixt--Tweedledum and Tweedledee!
Because they are not good enough who crave it,
Whilst one or two more worthy will not have it.
* * * * *
ADDITION TO MAGISTRATE'S DECISION.--Professor to be henceforth entitled
"_Il Ré Galantuomo_." Who? RAY! Hooray!
* * * * *
SCRAPS FROM CHAPS.--A SPIRIT LICENCE.--At the Limerick Quarter Sessions,
a landlord at Loughgur sought a new licence for his inn.
The applicant stated that he intended to keep a boat there for
the convenience of tourists.
_His Honour_--What are the features of antiquity there?
_The Applicant_--there are old castles and ruins.
_Mr. Lowndes_--And the White Knight of Desmond crosses the lake
once every five or ten years.
_His Honour_--And he is only seen by your patrols. (_Laughter._)
If this licence were granted, I suppose the White Knight would
cross the lake every night! (_Laughter._)
Of course he would! A phantom in a boat, if properly advertised, would
probably "draw" the Saxon tourist in his hundreds. Here is a chance for
the Psychical Research Society.
* * * * *