JOHN KENNEBY'S COURTSHIP.
"She's as sweet a temper, John, as ever stirred a lump of sugar in
her tea," said Mrs. Moulder to her brother, as they sat together over
the fire in Great St. Helen's on that same evening,--after his return
from Hamworth. "That she is,--and so Smiley always found her. 'She's
always the same,' Smiley said to me many a day. And what can a man
want more than that?"
"That's quite true," said John.
"And then as to her habits--I never knew her take a drop too much
since first I set eyes on her, and that's nigh twenty years ago. She
likes things comfortable;--and why shouldn't she, with two hundred a
year of her own coming out of the Kingsland Road brick-fields? As for
dress, her things is beautiful, and she is the woman that takes care
of 'em! Why, I remember an Irish tabinet as Smiley gave her when
first that venture in the brick-fields came up money; if that tabinet
is as much as turned yet, why, I'll eat it. And then, the best of
it is, she'll have you to-morrow. Indeed she will; or to-night, if
you'll ask her. Goodness gracious! if there ain't Moulder!" And the
excellent wife jumped up from her seat, poked the fire, emptied the
most comfortable arm-chair, and hurried out to the landing at the top
of the stairs. Presently the noise of a loudly wheezing pair of lungs
was heard, and the commercial traveller, enveloped from head to foot
in coats and comforters, made his appearance. He had just returned
from a journey, and having deposited his parcels and packages at
the house of business of Hubbles and Grease in Houndsditch, had now
returned to the bosom of his family. It was a way he had, not to let
his wife know exactly the period of his return. Whether he thought
that by so doing he might keep her always on the alert and ready for
marital inspection, or whether he disliked to tie himself down by the
obligation of a fixed time for his return, Mrs. Moulder had never
made herself quite sure. But on neither view of the subject did she
admire this practice of her lord. She had on many occasions pointed
out to him how much more snug she could make him if he would only let
her know when he was coming. But he had never taken the hint, and in
these latter days she had ceased to give it.
"Why, I'm uncommon cold," he said in answer to his wife's inquiries
after his welfare. "And so would you be too, if you'd come up from
Leeds since you'd had your dinner. What, John, are you there? The two
of you are making yourself snug enough, I suppose, with something
hot?"
"Not a drop he's had yet since he's been in the house," said Mrs.
Moulder. "And he's hardly as much as darkened the door since you
left it." And Mrs. Moulder added, with some little hesitation in her
voice, "Mrs. Smiley is coming in to-night, Moulder."
"The d---- she is! There's always something of that kind when I gets
home tired out, and wants to be comfortable. I mean to have my supper
to myself, as I likes it, if all the Mother Smileys in London choose
to come the way. What on earth is she coming here for this time of
night?"
"Why, Moulder, you know."
"No; I don't know. I only know this, that when a man's used up with
business he don't want to have any of that nonsense under his nose."
"If you mean me--" began John Kenneby.
"I don't mean you; of course not; and I don't mean anybody. Here,
take my coats, will you? and let me have a pair of slippers. If Mrs.
Smiley thinks that I'm going to change my pants, or put myself about
for her--"
"Laws, Moulder, she don't expect that."
"She won't get it any way. Here's John dressed up as if he was
going to a box in the the-atre. And you--why should you be going to
expense, and knocking out things that costs money, because Mother
Smiley's coming? I'll Smiley her."
"Now, Moulder--" But Mrs. Moulder knew that it was of no use speaking
to him at the present moment. Her task should be this,--to feed and
cosset him if possible into good humour before her guest should
arrive. Her praises of Mrs. Smiley had been very fairly true. But
nevertheless she was a lady who had a mind and voice of her own,
as any lady has a right to possess who draws in her own right two
hundred a year out of a brick-field in the Kingsland Road. Such a one
knows that she is above being snubbed, and Mrs. Smiley knew this of
herself as well as any lady; and if Moulder, in his wrath, should
call her Mother Smiley, or give her to understand that he regarded
her as an old woman, that lady would probably walk herself off in a
great dudgeon,--herself and her share in the brick-field. To tell the
truth, Mrs. Smiley required that considerable deference should be
paid to her.
Mrs. Moulder knew well what was her husband's present ailment. He had
dined as early as one, and on his journey up from Leeds to London had
refreshed himself with drink only. That last glass of brandy which
he had taken at the Peterborough station had made him cross. If she
could get him to swallow some hot food before Mrs. Smiley came, all
might yet be well.
"And what's it to be, M.?" she said in her most insinuating
voice--"there's a lovely chop down stairs, and there's nothing so
quick as that."
"Chop!" he said, and it was all he did say at the moment.
"There's a 'am in beautiful cut," she went on, showing by the urgency
of her voice how anxious she was on the subject.
For the moment he did not answer her at all, but sat facing the fire,
and running his fat fingers through his uncombed hair. "Mrs. Smiley!"
he said; "I remember when she was kitchen-maid at old Pott's."
"She ain't nobody's kitchen-maid now," said Mrs. Moulder, almost
prepared to be angry in the defence of her friend.
"And I never could make out when it was that Smiley married
her,--that is, if he ever did."
"Now, Moulder, that's shocking of you. Of course he married her. She
and I is nearly an age as possible, though I think she is a year over
me. She says not, and it ain't nothing to me. But I remember the
wedding as if it was yesterday. You and I had never set eyes on each
other then, M." This last she added in a plaintive tone, hoping to
soften him.
"Are you going to keep me here all night without anything?" he then
said. "Let me have some whisky,--hot, with;--and don't stand there
looking at nothing."
"But you'll take some solids with it, Moulder? Why it stands to
reason you'll be famished."
"Do as you're bid, will you, and give me the whisky. Are you going to
tell me when I'm to eat and when I'm to drink, like a child?" This he
said in that tone of voice which made Mrs. Moulder know that he meant
to be obeyed; and though she was sure that he would make himself
drunk, she was compelled to minister to his desires. She got the
whisky and hot water, the lemon and sugar, and set the things beside
him; and then she retired to the sofa. John Kenneby the while sat
perfectly silent looking on. Perhaps he was considering whether he
would be able to emulate the domestic management of Dockwrath or of
Moulder when he should have taken to himself Mrs. Smiley and the
Kingsland brick-field.
"If you've a mind to help yourself, John, I suppose you'll do it,"
said Moulder.
"None for me just at present, thank'ee," said Kenneby.
"I suppose you wouldn't swallow nothing less than wine in them togs?"
said the other, raising his glass to his lips. "Well, here's better
luck, and I'm blessed if it's not wanting. I'm pretty well tired of
this go, and so I mean to let 'em know pretty plainly."
All this was understood by Mrs. Moulder, who knew that it only
signified that her husband was half tipsy, and that in all
probability he would be whole tipsy before long. There was no
help for it. Were she to remonstrate with him in his present mood,
he would very probably fling the bottle at her head. Indeed,
remonstrances were never of avail with him. So she sat herself down,
thinking how she would run down when she heard Mrs. Smiley's step,
and beg that lady to postpone her visit. Indeed it would be well to
send John to convey her home again.
Moulder swallowed his glass of hot toddy fast, and then mixed
another. His eyes were very bloodshot, and he sat staring at the
fire. His hands were thrust into his pockets between the periods of
his drinking, and he no longer spoke to any one. "I'm ---- if I stand
it," he growled forth, addressing himself. "I've stood it a ---- deal
too long." And then he finished the second glass. There was a sort
of understanding on the part of his wife that such interjections
as these referred to Hubbles and Grease, and indicated a painfully
advanced state of drink. There was one hope; the double heat, that of
the fire and of the whisky, might make him sleep; and if so, he would
be safe for two or three hours.
"I'm blessed if I do, and that's all," said Moulder, grasping the
whisky-bottle for the third time. His wife sat behind him very
anxious, but not daring to interfere. "It's going over the table,
M.," she then said.
"D---- the table!" he answered; and then his head fell forward on his
breast, and he was fast asleep with the bottle in his hand.
"Put your hand to it, John," said Mrs. Moulder in a whisper. But John
hesitated. The lion might rouse himself if his prey were touched.
"He'll let it go easy if you put your hand to it. He's safe enough
now. There. If we could only get him back from the fire a little, or
his face'll be burnt off of him."
"But you wouldn't move him?"
"Well, yes; we'll try. I've done it before, and he's never stirred.
Come here, just behind. The casters is good, I know. Laws! ain't he
heavy?" And then they slowly dragged him back. He grunted out some
half-pronounced threat as they moved him; but he did not stir, and
his wife knew that she was again mistress of the room for the next
two hours. It was true that he snored horribly, but then she was used
to that.
"You won't let her come up, will you?" said John.
"Why not? She knows what men is as well I do. Smiley wasn't that way
often, I believe; but he was awful when he was. He wouldn't sleep it
off, quite innocent, like that; but would break everything about the
place, and then cry like a child after it. Now Moulder's got none of
that about him. The worst of it is, how am I ever to get him into bed
when he wakes?"
While the anticipation of this great trouble was still on her mind,
the ring at the bell was heard, and John Kenneby went down to the
outer door that he might pay to Mrs. Smiley the attention of waiting
upon her up stairs. And up stairs she came, bristling with silk--the
identical Irish tabinet, perhaps, which had never been turned--and
conscious of the business which had brought her.
"What--Moulder's asleep is he?" she said as she entered the room. "I
suppose that's as good as a pair of gloves, any way."
"He ain't just very well," said Mrs. Moulder, winking at her friend;
"he's tired after a long journey."
"Oh-h! ah-h!" said Mrs. Smiley, looking down upon the sleeping
beauty, and understanding everything at a glance. "It's uncommon bad
for him, you know, because he's so given to flesh."
"It's as much fatigue as anything," said the wife.
"Yes, I dare say;" and Mrs. Smiley shook her head. "If he fatigues
himself so much as that often he'll soon be off the hooks."
Much was undoubtedly to be borne from two hundred a year in a
brick-field, especially when that two hundred a year was coming so
very near home; but there is an amount of impertinent familiarity
which must be put down even in two hundred a year. "I've known worse
cases than him, my dear; and that ended worse."
"Oh, I dare say. But you're mistook if you mean Smiley. It was
'sepilus as took him off, as everybody knows."
"Well, my dear, I'm sure I'm not going to say anything against that.
And now, John, do help her off with her bonnet and shawl, while I get
the tea-things."
Mrs. Smiley was a firm set, healthy-looking woman of--about forty.
She had large, dark, glassy eyes, which were bright without
sparkling. Her cheeks were very red, having a fixed settled colour
that never altered with circumstances. Her black wiry hair was
ended in short crisp curls, which sat close to her head. It almost
collected like a wig, but the hair was in truth her own. Her mouth
was small, and her lips thin, and they gave to her face a look of
sharpness that was not quite agreeable. Nevertheless she was not a
bad-looking woman, and with such advantages as two hundred a year and
the wardrobe which Mrs. Moulder had described, was no doubt entitled
to look for a second husband.
"Well, Mr. Kenneby, and how do you find yourself this cold weather?
Dear, how he do snore; don't he?"
"Yes," said Kenneby, very thoughtfully, "he does rather." He was
thinking of Miriam Usbech as she was twenty years ago, and of Mrs.
Smiley as she appeared at present. Not that he felt inclined to
grumble at the lot prepared for him, but that he would like to take a
few more years to think about it.
And then they sat down to tea. The lovely chops which Moulder had
despised, and the ham in beautiful cut which had failed to tempt
him, now met with due appreciation. Mrs. Smiley, though she had
never been known to take a drop too much, did like to have things
comfortable; and on this occasion she made an excellent meal,
with a large pocket-handkerchief of Moulder's--brought in for the
occasion--stretched across the broad expanse of the Irish tabinet.
"We sha'n't wake him, shall we?" said she, as she took her last bit
of muffin.
"Not till he wakes natural, of hisself," said Mrs. Moulder. "When
he's worked it off, he'll rouse himself, and I shall have to get him
to bed."
"He'll be a bit patchy then, won't he?"
"Well, just for a while of course he will," said Mrs. Moulder. "But
there's worse than him. To-morrow morning, maybe, he'll be just as
sweet as sweet. It don't hang about him, sullen like. That's what I
hate, when it hangs about 'em." Then the tea-things were taken away,
Mrs. Smiley in her familiarity assisting in the removal, and--in
spite of the example now before them--some more sugar and some more
spirits, and some more hot water were put upon the table. "Well,
I don't mind just the least taste in life, Mrs. Moulder, as we're
quite between friends; and I'm sure you'll want it to-night to keep
yourself up." Mrs. Moulder would have answered these last words with
some severity had she not felt that good humour now might be of great
value to her brother.
"Well, John, and what is it you've got to say to her?" said Mrs.
Moulder, as she put down her empty glass. Between friends who
understood each other so well, and at their time of life, what was
the use of ceremony?
"La, Mrs. Moulder, what should he have got to say? Nothing I'm sure
as I'd think of listening to."
"You try her, John."
"Not but what I've the greatest respect in life for Mr. Kenneby,
and always did have. If you must have anything to do with men, I've
always said, recommend me to them as is quiet and steady, and hasn't
got too much of the gab;--a quiet man is the man for me any day."
"Well, John?" said Mrs. Moulder.
"Now, Mrs. Moulder, can't you keep yourself to yourself, and we shall
do very well. Laws, how he do snore! When his head goes bobbing that
way I do so fear he'll have a fit."
"No he won't; he's coming to, all right. Well, John?"
"I'm sure I shall be very happy," said John, "if she likes it. She
says that she respects me, and I'm sure I've a great respect for her.
I always had--even when Mr. Smiley was alive."
"It's very good of you to say so," said she; not speaking however as
though she were quite satisfied. What was the use of his remembering
Smiley just at present?
"Enough's enough between friends any day," said Mrs. Moulder. "So
give her your hand, John."
"I think it'll be right to say one thing first," said Kenneby, with a
solemn and deliberate tone.
"And what's that?" said Mrs. Smiley, eagerly.
"In such a matter as this," continued Kenneby, "where the hearts are
concerned--"
"You didn't say anything about hearts yet," said Mrs. Smiley, with
some measure of approbation in her voice.
"Didn't I?" said Kenneby. "Then it was an omission on my part, and I
beg leave to apologise. But what I was going to say is this: when the
hearts are concerned, everything should be honest and above-board."
"Oh of course," said Mrs. Moulder; "and I'm sure she don't suspect
nothing else."
"You'd better let him go on," said Mrs. Smiley.
"My heart has not been free from woman's lovely image."
"And isn't free now, is it, John?" said Mrs. Moulder.
"I've had my object, and though she's been another's, still I've kept
her image on my heart."
"But it ain't there any longer, John? He's speaking of twenty years
ago, Mrs. Smiley."
"It's quite beautiful to hear him," said Mrs. Smiley. "Go on, Mr.
Kenneby."
"The years are gone by as though they was nothing, and still I've had
her image on my heart. I've seen her to-day."
"Her gentleman's still alive, ain't he?" asked Mrs. Smiley.
"And likely to live," said Mrs. Moulder.
"I've seen her to-day," Kenneby continued; "and now the Adriatic's
free to wed another."
Neither of the ladies present exactly understood the force of the
quotation; but as it contained an appropriate reference to marriage,
and apparently to a second marriage, it was taken by both of them in
good part. He was considered to have made his offer, and Mrs. Smiley
thereupon formally accepted him. "He's spoke quite handsome, I'm
sure," said Mrs. Smiley to his sister; "and I don't know that any
woman has a right to expect more. As to the brick-fields--." And then
there was a slight reference to business, with which it will not be
necessary that the readers of this story should embarrass themselves.
Soon after that Mr. Kenneby saw Mrs. Smiley home in a cab, and poor
Mrs. Moulder sat by her lord till he roused himself from his sleep.
Let us hope that her troubles with him were as little vexatious as
possible; and console ourselves with the reflection that at twelve
o'clock the next morning, after the second bottle of soda and brandy,
he was "as sweet as sweet."