A Great Disappointment
CHANGES were rapidly made after the young master had come home,
but Mrs. Peck was not got rid of without a terrible struggle, and
Miss Gubbins had to leave her poetry books and brace herself for
the conflict. She was victor at last, for she was backed up by the
"master;" but it ended in five or six of the other servants giving
notice, and only Smythe and the cook remained of the old set.
Being so busy with these household difficulties gave her less time
than ever to look after the children, and they practically "ran wild,"
as the saying is. Victor still figured as the "Ogre," and was shunned
accordingly; but the house was big and empty enough to furnish pastime
away from him, and they did not trouble him with their noise. Claud
introduced Gypsy and Donald one afternoon to "Sir Perceval," and they
all agreed that he was the "very funniest, jolliest fellow" they had
ever seen.
"So you're the little lady who has seen the Holy Grail?" he asked
Gypsy, just before the children were taking their departure.
Gypsy drew near to the wheeled chair with soft, serious blue eyes.
"Yes, I really and truly did see it," she said steadfastly; "and I'm
trying hard to be very good enough to see it again."
"I suppose you had been awfully good just before you saw it?"
"I don't think I was very," admitted Gypsy doubtfully, "but I got up
very early in the morning to look for it; it says so, you know!"
The boys had moved off, interested in the antics of a young foal just
outside the orchard, and Gypsy felt she could speak quite freely to
this pleasant-faced young man.
"Does it?" her questioner said doubtfully, taking up a volume of
Tennyson that he had been referring to during the children's visit. "I
think it was chiefly seen at night."
"It says, 'Those that seek Me early shall find Me,'" pursued Gypsy;
"the lady said I ought to be looking for Jesus, and I should find Him,
and the Holy Thing belongs to Him, doesn't it? If you see it, that
means you must be getting near Jesus. And I knelt down and said my
prayers, and then I saw the Holy Thing, just like Gubby told us. A rose
red light, and yellow, it came down right on me; and the boys say I'm
telling stories, and it's the straight real truth!"
"Sir Perceval" gazed at the little speaker in astonishment, and a
softened expression stole over his face.
"I thought I had found a little mystic who loved fairy stories," he
said slowly; "but I've found a mite who is searching for the deepest
truth on earth, ay, and in heaven itself! Seeking for the Lord Jesus
Christ are you, little one?"
Gypsy nodded. "I'm wanting to find Him. If you're very very good, I
think He shows Himself to you just for a little minute, and I would so
like to see Him!"
Her little mouth took wistful curves as she spoke, and for a moment
there was silence.
"And what do you want to see Him for?"
"I should like Him to tell me He loved me, and was pleased with me, and
would let me come to heaven when I die! I think I might have seen Him
another day, because I found the right room, but I've lost it, and it
seems to have gone, and no one knows anything about it!"
Then after another pause, she asked eagerly: "Have you ever seen or
heard Jesus, Sir Perceval?"
"Sir Perceval's" face was very grave now. All the sparkle had died out
of his eyes.
"I did hear Him once," he said thoughtfully.
"Oh, how nice! And did you see the Holy Thing?"
He shook his head, then turned to look after the boys.
"We're getting into deep water," he said lightly, "and you're looking
as grave as a judge. Don't you know that children ought always to be
crying or laughing, and a solemn face is never allowed until you're
grown-up and married!"
Gypsy walked home thoughtfully between the two boys. The longing
to find her quest took a strong possession of her, and after the
schoolroom tea was over that afternoon, again she wandered down the old
passages, trying every door, in the hope of coming across the one she
wanted.
She was much startled and delighted when at last, opening one door, she
found herself on the threshold of the lost room.
[Illustration: GYPSY TRIES THE DOOR.]
There was the beautiful coloured window; the walls lined with books;
the large square table in the middle of the room, but, seated writing
at this table was the Ogre!
For a moment the child hesitated, then her curiosity overcame her
shyness, and she advanced with a radiant face.
Victor looked up and wondered at the intrusion.
"How did you find this room out?" he asked, a little impatiently. "I
thought I was safe here from all disturbance. This room is not for you
children. Run away!"
The gladness died out of Gypsy's face at once, but she stood her ground.
"You aren't going to keep it all to yourself?" asked with vehemence.
"It's the room I found and I lost, and it's the room which the Holy
Thing is in. I want to see it again, and the boys want to see it too,
and they'll know I wasn't telling stories when they see it!"
Victor stared at her, and wondered what had wrought up her feelings to
such a pitch that she could stand her ground before him, instead of
running away directly she saw him, as was her custom.
"What on earth are you talking about?" he asked, laying down his pen,
and leaning back in his chair with a yawn. "What is the 'Holy Thing,'
may I ask?"
"You know. Haven't you seen it? It's what Sir Galahad saw, and what all
Arthur's knights looked for, and I thought p'raps we should find it in
this house, and I found it all by myself early in the morning, and it
came through that window up there!"
Her words still were absolutely unintelligible to him.
"What came through the window?"
"The Holy Thing. That's what we call it. Gubby calls it the Holy Grail,
and Don says it's the Holy Light; but I saw it, and I want to see it
again."
Dimly, he began to understand, and he looked at his little sister with
some interest.
"You don't mean to tell me that you harum-scarum youngsters are playing
at such a game as searching for the Holy Grail? Can you carry your
imaginations and pretences so far as to believe in it yourself, I
wonder?"
"I don't understand. It wasn't pretence. It was real truth, and the
Holy Thing came down on my head. I saw it. It fell on my fingers and
dress."
The earnestness and intensity of her tone amused him.
"You are queer little creatures," he said; "but I can't have you
romping in this old library; it is generally locked up, and I use it
but seldom."
"But let me, oh, please let me come in here early in the morning! I
will be very good. I won't touch a thing. I'll just come in like I did
before, and kneel down and say my prayers, and then, perhaps, I shall
see it again."
Victor laughed, and turned to his writing.
"Well, if you want to turn it into a private chapel for your devotions,
I don't suppose you can do much harm, but no romps or games in it,
remember, and when I'm using it, make yourself scarce. Now run along,
and leave me in peace."
Gypsy instantly obeyed, and fled along the passage in trembling
delight, calling out:
"Don! Claud! I've found it!"
The boys were so engrossed in letting themselves up and down over the
banisters by means of a rope they had tied to the top rail, that they
did not respond to their sister's call.
It was not till Miss Gubbins came out and forbade their fascinating
occupation, and sent them all into the schoolroom to be quiet till
tea-time, that Gypsy obtained a hearing. Then the boys were interested
in it at once.
"Where is the room? Did you see the Holy Thing?"
"Of course she didn't if the Ogre was there; he would frighten anything
away."
"We'll go and see it directly after tea."
"No," said Gypsy gravely; "he said we weren't to come in there while he
was there; but to-morrow morning early, when he is in bed, we can go.
And then you'll see I wasn't telling stories!"
"I don't believe we shall see it," said Donald sceptically. "I'm sure
it's a make up of yours!"
"You won't see it unless you're very good," said Gypsy diplomatically,
"and if you're cross and say I'm telling stories, you won't see it at
all!"
"We'll just be as good as gold," Claud said earnestly, "until to-morrow
morning, and then if it's all a pretend, you'll catch it hot."
Miss Gubbins wondered a little at the quiet and peace that reigned in
her small kingdom for the rest of the evening. The children sat on
the low window-seat, and talked in low tones, without the shadow of a
dispute amongst them. They had hit upon the delightful plan of telling
each other all the naughty things they might do, if they were not
trying to be good, and all vied with one another in proving that their
brain was the most fertile in concocting mischievous devices.
The only danger in this was that they began to have a longing to put
them into practice, and Donald wound up by saying:
"If we don't see the Holy Grail after all, it will be no use trying to
be good any more, and then I shall just try a few of our plans."
All this made little Gypsy very anxious. She felt as if great issues
hung upon the early morning visit to the library, and for a long time
that night tossed about restlessly in her sleep, until at last Miss
Gubbins came over to soothe her.
"What is it, dear? Is anything troubling you? Have you had dreams?"
Gypsy's flushed little face and disordered curls turned over on the
pillow.
"If we don't see it, we shall never be good again, the boys say so."
And Miss Gubbins crept back to bed, hoping that such a dreadful
statement only existed in dreamland.
Very early the next morning Gypsy was in her brothers' room with
shining eyes and eager face. It did not often fall to her lot to
be leader, and she was a little proud, and very fearful of the
responsibility attached to it.
The boys were up in a moment, and three little figures instead of one
now stole down the long corridor and into the old library.
It was unlocked this time, though for one moment the stiffness of the
door handle made Gypsy tremble lest after all they should not gain an
entrance. But directly they stood inside her little heart was at rest.
There through that wonderful window was the coloured light, and it fell
full on their pathway in rays of crimson and gold. Awed and delighted,
she turned in triumph to the boys, but no ecstatic joy shone in their
faces.
With a broad grin Donald spoke, and his words ruthlessly shattered poor
Gypsy's beautiful conception.
"Why, you little stupid! You don't think that's the Holy Grail? It's
just the sun shining through the coloured glass! Just like a girl!
Haven't you seen a painted window before? I have, in a church Gubby
took me to once, and I remember it all shone over the clergyman, and
gave him a red nose and a blue mouth; he did look so funny!"
"Fancy bringing us to see that, and telling us it was the Holy Thing!"
said Claud contemptuously.
Poor little Gypsy! Her face fell, and big tears began to gather in her
blue eyes. She had been so happy, so sure of the vision, and now it was
roughly taken away from her, and the boys, instead of being awed and
solemnized, were laughing loudly at her stupidity. She stood immovable
for a moment, and then, flinging herself down on the floor, gave way to
a fit of bitter weeping. Her distress touched Donald's heart. He sat
down by her and tried to comfort her.
"Don't be a cry-baby. Anyhow, you found out a stunning room, and I'll
come and have a good look for pictures in these old books, when the
Ogre is out! There's nothing to make your eyes red over!"
"Go away!" sobbed Gypsy. "We've been good all for nothing, and I never
shall find the Holy Thing, I know I shan't! And now you'll be wicked
all day, you said you would, and it's all my fault!"
The boys looked at each other gravely, then Donald said slowly:
"Well, it isn't a regular make up of yours, because you thought it was
real, so we'll try and not be extra bad. We promise not to make you
help us, if you don't want to. Come on, Claud, let's have a race back
to bed; the last one in gets a pillow shot!"
They disappeared, but Gypsy cried on, and a little prayer went up to
the One who is always willing to hear and comfort the troubles of
childhood.
"O God! I do seek early, but I can't find. Do let me see the Holy Thing
soon, and help me to be good enough to find Jesus!"
Then she pattered away to bed, and finding Helen Mary on the floor,
took her into her arms, and confided to her what had taken place. Helen
Mary listened and smiled, and laid her cool wax cheeks against the hot
tear-stained ones of her mistress, doing much towards bringing comfort
to the disappointed little soul.