XVIII. DAMPNESS.

"And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the

earth, and daughters were born unto them.

"That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and

they took them wives of all which they chose.

"And the Lord said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that

he also is flesh; yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years.

"There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that

when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare

children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of

renown.

"And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and

that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil

continually.

"And it repented the Lord that he had made man on the earth, and it

grieved him at his heart.

"And the Lord said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face

of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls

of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them."

From this account it seems that driving Adam and Eve out of Eden did not

have the effect to improve them or their children. On the contrary, the

world grew worse and worse. They were under the immediate control and

government of God, and he from time to time made known his will; but in

spite of this, man continued to increase in crime.

Nothing in particular seems to have been done. Not a school was

established. There was no written language. There was not a Bible in the

world. The "scheme of salvation" was kept a profound secret. The five

points of Calvinism had not been taught. Sunday schools had not been

opened. In short, nothing had been done for the reformation of the

world. God did not even keep his own sons at home, but allowed them to

leave their abode in the firmament, and make love to the daughters

of men. As a result of this, the world was filled with wickedness and

giants to such an extent that God regretted "that he had made man on the

earth, and it grieved him at his heart."

Of course God knew when he made man, that he would afterwards regret

it. He knew that the people would grow worse and worse until destruction

would be the only remedy. He knew that he would have to kill all except

Noah and his family, and it is hard to see why he did not make Noah and

his family in the first place, and leave Adam and Eve in the original

dust. He knew that they would be tempted, that he would have to drive

them out of the garden to keep them from eating of the tree of life;

that the whole thing would be a failure; that Satan would defeat his

plan; that he could not reform the people; that his own sons would

corrupt them, and that at last he would have to drown them all except

Noah and his family. Why was the Garden of Eden planted? Why was the

experiment made? Why were Adam and Eve exposed to the seductive arts of

the serpent? Why did God wait until the cool of the day before looking

after his children? Why was he not on hand in the morning?

Why did he fill the world with his own children, knowing that he would

have to destroy them? And why does this same God tell me how to raise my

children when he had to drown his?

It is a little curious that when God wished to reform the ante-diluvian

world he said nothing about hell; that he had no revivals, no

camp-meetings, no tracts, no outpourings of the Holy Ghost, no baptisms,

no noon prayer meetings, and never mentioned the great doctrine of

salvation by faith. If the orthodox creeds of the world are true, all

those people went to hell without ever having heard that such a place

existed. If eternal torment is a fact, surely these miserable wretches

ought to have been warned. They were threatened only with water when

they were in fact doomed to eternal fire!

Is it not strange that God said nothing to Adam and Eve about a future

life; that he should have kept these "infinite verities" to himself and

allowed millions to live and die without the hope of heaven, or the fear

of hell?

It may be that hell was not made at that time. In the six days of

creation nothing is said about the construction of a bottomless pit, and

the serpent himself did not make his appearance until after the creation

of man and woman. Perhaps he was made on the first Sunday, and from that

fact came, it may be, the old couplet,

"And Satan still some mischief finds

For idle hands to do."

The sacred historian failed also to tell us when the cherubim and the

flaming sword were made, and said nothing about two of the persons

composing the Trinity. It certainly would have been an easy thing to

enlighten Adam and his immediate descendants. The world was then only

about fifteen hundred and thirty-six years old, and only about three

or four generations of men had lived. Adam had been dead only about six

hundred and six years, and some of his grandchildren must, at that time,

have been alive and well.

It is hard to see why God did not civilize these people. He certainly

had the power to use, and the wisdom to devise the proper means. What

right has a god to fill a world with fiends? Can there be goodness in

this? Why should he make experiments that he knows must fail? Is there

wisdom in this? And what right has a man to charge an infinite being

with wickedness and folly?

According to Moses, God made up his mind not only to destroy the people,

but the beasts and the creeping things, and the fowls of the air. What

had the beasts, and the creeping things, and the birds done to excite

the anger of God? Why did he repent having made them? Will some

Christian give us an explanation of this matter? No good man will

inflict unnecessary pain upon a beast; how then can we worship a god who

cares nothing for the agonies of the dumb creatures that he made?

Why did he make animals that he knew he would destroy? Does God delight

in causing pain? He had the power to make the beasts, and fowls, and

creeping things in his own good time and way, and it is to be presumed

that he made them according to his wish. Why should he destroy them?

They had committed no sin. They had eaten no forbidden fruit, made no

aprons, nor tried to reach the tree of life. Yet this god, in blind

unreasoning wrath destroyed "all flesh wherein was the breath of life,

and every living thing beneath the sky, and every substance wherein was

life that he had made."

Jehovah having made up his mind to drown the world, told Noah to make

an Ark of gopher wood three hundred cubits long, fifty cubits wide and

thirty cubits high. A cubit is twenty-two inches; so that the ark was

five hundred and fifty feet long, ninety-one feet and eight inches wide

and fifty-five feet high. This ark was divided into three stories, and

had on top, one window twenty-two inches square. Ventilation must have

been one of Jehovah's hobbies. Think of a ship larger than the Great

Eastern with only one window, and that but twenty-two inches square!

The ark also had one door set in the side thereof that shut from the

outside. As soon as this ship was finished, and properly victualed, Noah

received seven days notice to get the animals in the ark.

It is claimed by some of the scientific theologians that the flood was

partial, that the waters covered only a small portion of the world, and

that consequently only a few animals were in the ark. It is impossible

to conceive of language that can more clearly convey the idea of a

universal flood than that found in the inspired account. If the flood

was only partial, why did God say he would "destroy all flesh wherein

is the breath of life from under heaven, and that every thing that is

in the earth shall die"? Why did he say "I will destroy man whom I have

created from the face of the earth, both man and beast, and the creeping

thing and the fowls of the air"? Why did he say "And every living

substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the

earth"? Would a partial, local flood have fulfilled these threats?

Nothing can be clearer than that the writer of this account intended to

convey, and did convey the idea that the flood was universal. Why should

Christians try to deprive God of the glory of having wrought the most

stupendous of miracles? Is it possible that the Infinite could not

overwhelm with waves this atom called the earth? Do you doubt his power,

his wisdom or his justice?

Believers in miracles should not endeavor to explain them. There is but

one way to explain anything, and that is to account for it by natural

agencies. The moment you explain a miracle, it disappears. You should

depend not upon explanation, but assertion. You should not be driven

from the field because the miracle is shown to be unreasonable. You

should reply that all miracles are unreasonable. Neither should you be

in the least disheartened if it is shown to be impossible. The possible

is not miraculous. You should take the ground that if miracles were

reasonable, and possible, there would be no reward paid for believing

them. The Christian has the goodness to believe, while the sinner asks

for evidence. It is enough for God to work miracles without being called

upon to substantiate them for the benefit of unbelievers.

Only a few years ago, the Christians believed implicitly in the literal

truth of every miracle recorded in the Bible. Whoever tried to explain

them in some natural way, was looked upon as an infidel in disguise,

but now he is regarded as a benefactor. The credulity of the church is

decreasing, and the most marvelous miracles are now either "explained,"

or allowed to take refuge behind the mistakes of the translators, or

hide in the drapery of allegory.

In the sixth chapter, Noah is ordered to take "of every living thing

of all flesh, two of every sort into the ark--male and female." In the

seventh chapter the order is changed, and Noah is commanded, according

to the Protestant Bible, as follows: "Of every clean beast thou shalt

take to thee by sevens, the male and his female, and of beasts that are

not clean, by two, the male and his female. Of fowls also of the air by

sevens, the male and the female."

According to the Catholic Bible, Noah was commanded---"Of all clean

beasts take seven and seven, the male and the female. But of the beasts

that are unclean two and two, the male and the female. Of the fowls also

of the air seven and seven, the male and the female."

For the purpose of belittling this miracle, many commentators have

taken the ground that Noah was not ordered to take seven males and seven

females of each kind of clean beasts, but seven in all. Many Christians

contend that only seven clean beasts of each kind were taken into the

ark--three and a half of each sex.

If the account in the seventh chapter means anything, it means _first_,

that of each kind of clean beasts, fourteen were to be taken, seven

males, and seven females; _second_, that of unclean beasts should be

taken, two of each kind, one of each sex, and _third_, that he should

take of every kind of fowls, seven of each sex.

It is equally clear that the command in the 19th and 20th verses of the

6th chapter, is to take two of each sort, one male and one female. And

this agrees exactly with the account in the 7th, 8th, 9th, 14th, 15th,

and 16th verses of the 7th chapter.

The next question is, how many beasts, fowls and creeping things did

Noah take into the ark?

There are now known and classified at least twelve thousand five hundred

species of birds. There are still vast territories in China, South

America, and Africa unknown to the ornithologist.

Of the birds, Noah took fourteen of each species, according to the 3d

verse of the 7th chapter, "Of fowls also of the air by sevens, the male

and the female," making a total of 175,000 birds.

And right here allow me to ask a question. If the flood was simply a

partial flood, why were birds taken into the ark? It seems to me that

most birds, attending strictly to business, might avoid a partial flood.

There are at least sixteen hundred and fifty-eight kinds of beasts. Let

us suppose that twenty-five of these are clean. Of the clean, fourteen

of each kind--seven of each sex--were taken. These amount to 350. Of

the unclean--two of each kind, amounting to 3,266. There are some six

hundred and fifty species of reptiles. Two of each kind amount to 1,300.

And lastly, there are of insects including the creeping things, at least

one million species, so that Noah and his folks had to get of these into

the ark about 2,000,000.

Animalculae have not been taken into consideration. There are probably

many hundreds of thousands of species; many of them invisible; and

yet Noah had to pick them out by pairs. Very few people have any just

conception of the trouble Noah had.

We know that there are many animals on this continent not found in the

Old World. These must have been carried from here to the ark, and then

brought back afterwards. Were the peccary, armadillo, ant-eater, sloth,

agouti, vampire-bat, marmoset, howling and prehensile-tailed monkey, the

raccoon and muskrat carried by the angels from America to Asia? How did

they get there? Did the polar bear leave his field of ice and journey

toward the tropics? How did he know where the ark was? Did the kangaroo

swim or jump from Australia to Asia? Did the giraffe, hippopotamus,

antelope and orang-outang journey from Africa in search of the ark? Can

absurdities go farther than this?

What had these animals to eat while on the journey? What did they eat

while in the ark? What did they drink? When the rain came, of course

the rivers ran to the seas, and these seas rose and finally covered the

world. The waters of the seas, mingled with those of the flood, would

make all salt. It has been calculated that it required, to drown the

world, about eight times as much water as was in all the seas. To find

how salt the waters of the flood must have been, take eight quarts of

fresh water, and add one quart from the sea. Such water would create

instead of allaying thirst. Noah had to take in his ark fresh water for

all his beasts, birds and living things. He had to take the proper food

for all. How long was he in the ark? Three hundred and seventy-seven

days! Think of the food necessary for the monsters of the ante-diluvian

world!

Eight persons did all the work. They attended to the wants of 175,000

birds, 3,616 beasts, 1,300 reptiles, and 2,000,000 insects, saying

nothing of countless animalculae.

Well, after they all got in, Noah pulled down the window, God shut the

door, and the rain commenced.

How long did it rain?

Forty days.

How deep did the water get?

About five miles and a half.

How much did it rain a day?

Enough to cover the whole world to a depth of about seven hundred and

forty-two feet.

Some Christians say that the fountains of the great deep were broken up.

Will they be kind enough to tell us what the fountains of the great deep

are? Others say that God had vast stores of water in the center of the

earth that he used on that occasion. How did these waters happen to run

up hill?

Gentlemen, allow me to tell you once more that you must not try to

explain these things. Your efforts in that direction do no good, because

your explanations are harder to believe than the miracle itself. Take my

advice, stick to assertion, and let explanation alone.

Then, as now, Dhawalagiri lifted its crown of snow twenty-nine thousand

feet above the level of the sea, and on the cloudless cliffs of

Chimborazo then, as now, sat the condor; and yet the waters rising seven

hundred and twenty-six feet a day--thirty feet an hour, six inches

a minute,--rose over the hills, over the volcanoes, filled the vast

craters, extinguished all the fires, rose above every mountain peak

until the vast world was but one shoreless sea covered with the

innumerable dead.

Was this the work of the most merciful God, the father of us all? If

there is a God, can there be the slightest danger of incurring his

displeasure by doubting even in a reverential way, the truth of such a

cruel lie? If we think that God is kinder than he really is, will our

poor souls be burned for that?

How many trees can live under miles of water for a year? What became of

the soil washed, scattered, dissolved, and covered with the _debris_ of

a world? How were the tender plants and herbs preserved? How were the

animals preserved after leaving the ark? There was no grass except such

as had been submerged for a year. There were no animals to be devoured

by the carnivorous beasts. What became of the birds that fed on worms

and insects? What became of the birds that devoured other birds?

It must be remembered that the pressure of the water when at the highest

point--say twenty-nine thousand feet, would have been about eight

hundred tons on each square foot. Such a pressure certainly would have

destroyed nearly every vestige of vegetable life, so that when the

animals came out of the ark, there was not a mouthful of food in the

wide world. How were they supported until the world was again clothed

with grass? How were those animals taken care of that subsisted on

others? Where did the bees get honey, and the ants seeds? There was not

a creeping thing upon the whole earth; not a breathing creature beneath

the whole heavens; not a living substance. Where did the tenants of the

ark get food?

There is but one answer, if the story is true. The food necessary

not only during the year of the flood, but sufficient for many months

afterwards, must have been stored in the ark.

There is probably not an animal in the world that will not, in a year,

eat and drink ten times its weight. Noah must have provided food and

water for a year while in the ark, and food for at least six months

after they got ashore. It must have required for a pair of elephants,

about one hundred and fifty tons of food and water. A couple of mammoths

would have required about twice that amount. Of course there were other

monsters that lived on trees; and in a year would have devoured quite a

forest.

How could eight persons have distributed this food, even if the ark had

been large enough to hold it? How was the ark kept clean? We know how it

was ventilated; but what was done with the filth? How were the animals

watered? How were some portions of the ark heated for animals from the

tropics, and others kept cool for the polar bears? How did the animals

get back to their respective countries? Some had to creep back about

six thousand miles, and they could only go a few feet a day. Some of the

creeping things must have started for the ark just as soon as they were

made, and kept up a steady jog for sixteen hundred years. Think of

a couple of the slowest snails leaving a point opposite the ark and

starting for the plains of Shinar, a distance of twelve thousand miles.

Going at the rate of a mile a month, it would take them a thousand

years. How did they get there? Polar bears must have gone several

thousand miles, and so sudden a change in climate must have been

exceedingly trying upon their health. How did they know the way to go?

Of course, all the polar bears did not go. Only two were required. Who

selected these?

Two sloths had to make the journey from South America. These creatures

cannot travel to exceed three rods a day. At this rate, they would make

a mile in about a hundred days. They must have gone about six thousand

five hundred miles, to reach the ark. Supposing them to have traveled by

a reasonably direct route, in order to complete the journey before Noah

hauled in the plank, they must have started several years before the

world was created. We must also consider that these sloths had to board

themselves on the way, and that most of their time had to be taken up

getting food and water. It is exceedingly doubtful whether a sloth could

travel six thousand miles and board himself in less than three thousand

years.

Volumes might be written upon the infinite absurdity of this most

incredible, wicked and foolish of all the fables contained in that

repository of the impossible, called the Bible. To me it is a matter

of amazement, that it ever was for a moment believed by any intelligent

human being.

Dr. Adam Clarke says that "the animals were brought to the ark by the

power of God, and their enmities were so removed or suspended, that the

lion could dwell peaceably with the lamb, and the wolf sleep happily by

the side of the kid. There is no positive evidence that animal food was

ever used before the flood. Noah had the first grant of this kind."

Dr. Scott remarks, "There seems to have been a very extraordinary

miracle, perhaps by the ministration of angels, in bringing two of every

species to Noah, and rendering them submissive, and peaceful with each

other. Yet it seems not to have made any impression upon the hardened

spectators. The suspension of the ferocity of the savage beasts during

their continuance in the ark, is generally considered as an apt figure

of the change that takes place in the disposition of sinners when they

enter the true church of Christ."

He believed the deluge to have been universal. In his day science had

not demonstrated the absurdity of this belief, and he was not compelled

to resort to some theory not found in the Bible. He insisted that "by

some vast convulsion, the very bowels of the earth were forced upwards,

and rain poured down in cataracts and water-spouts, with no intermission

for forty days and nights, and until in every place a universal deluge

was effected.

"The presence of God was the only comfort of Noah in his dreary

confinement, and in witnessing the dire devastation of the earth and its

inhabitants, and especially of the human species--of his companions, his

neighbors, his relatives--all those to whom he had preached, for whom he

had prayed and over whom he had wept, and even of many who had helped to

build the ark.

"It seems that by a peculiar providential interposition, no animal of

any sort died, although they had been shut up in the ark above a year;

and it does not appear that there had been any increase of them during

that time.

"The Ark was flat-bottomed--square at each end--roofed like a house so

that it terminated at the top in the breadth of a cubit. It was divided

into many little cabins for its intended inhabitants. Pitched within and

without to keep it tight and sweet, and lighted from the upper part.

But it must, at first sight, be evident that so large a vessel, thus

constructed, with so few persons on board, was utterly unfitted to

weather out the deluge, except it was under the immediate guidance and

protection of the Almighty."

The Works of Robert G. Ingersoll, Vol. 02 (of 12) Dresden Edition—Lectures · 第 50 / 95 题