People don't always know that Jimmy's dog is a bloodhound. One man
said it was a Great Scott--at least that is what he said when he saw
it. You see, when it is pensive, it sometimes looks like a spaniel and
sometimes like an Airedale--or it would if it hadn't got smooth hair
and a bushy tail which curls. Jimmy was undecided for a long time what
to call it.
The milkman said Jimmy ought to call it "For instance," and then people
would know what it was for. The milkman thought of a lot more names
before a week was over, for Jimmy's bloodhound tracked down a can of
his milk and lapped it up. It is a very good lapper. It lapped so hard
that Jimmy had to pull the can off its head. Jimmy said it was the
suction and that all good bloodhounds were like that.
A man stopped Jimmy in the street and asked him if that was the dog
that tracked down the German spy to his lair. Jimmy said it was, and
the man was very pleased: he patted the bloodhound on the head and
said, "Good old Faithful!"--just like that.
Jimmy showed him the pork-butcher's shop where he did it, and the
man said if Jimmy would wait a minute he would go and buy the dog
some German fruit. Jimmy said the man bought a large kind of sausage
which had a red husk. He then stooped down and said, "Good old chap,
I confer upon you the Order of the Faithful Sausage, 1st class, and
if you catch another German spy I'll give you a season ticket." When
Jimmy's bloodhound saw the red sausage he began to bay, and he hurled
himself upon it with much vigour, Jimmy says. The man watched Jimmy's
bloodhound working, and he said, "_Magna est fidelitas et prevalebit_,"
which he said meant that "Old Faithful would down the Germans every
time."
Jimmy calls his bloodhound Faithful now, and he is keener than ever on
catching another German spy.
Jimmy says he thought he was on the track of one the other day. He
was walking down a road when suddenly Faithful began straining at the
leash, as if he scented one. But it wasn't a German after all; it was a
goat. It was in a field. Jimmy said he made sure it was a German until
he saw it.
The goat was having its tea on the far side of the field. Jimmy hadn't
seen the goat before, so he loosed Faithful at it. Faithful bounded
towards the goat very hard at first, and then stopped and began to
deploy.
Jimmy said the goat was very surprised when it saw Faithful and jumped
three feet into the air all at once. Jimmy says Faithful makes things
do like that. You see Faithful was crawling hand over hand towards it
on the grass, and the goat looked as if it expected Faithful to go off
suddenly.
Then the goat said "Yes! Yes!" several times with its head and began to
moo.
Jimmy said the goat must have been winding up the starting handle, for
it suddenly slipped in the clutch and got into top gear in five yards.
It was a flexible goat, Jimmy says. Faithful is a good runner; it has a
kind of side-stroke action when it runs fast, and this puzzled the goat
and made it skid a bit on the grass.
Jimmy sat on the gate and watched them. After five times round the
field the goat sat down and looked nonplussed.
Jimmy knows all about goats; he knows what to do with them, and he
showed me. He got it so tame that it would feed out of your hand. It
ate half a newspaper one day and it made it very fiery. Jimmy said it
was the War news. We were trying to harness it to a perambulator Jimmy
had borrowed. Jimmy said it had to have a bell on its neck so that
people would know it was coming, just like the Alps.
Jimmy said goats could jump from one Alp to the other, and they always
did that in Switzerland and it sounded very pretty in the evening.
I hadn't got a little bell that tinkled so I brought the dinner bell,
and we tied it on to the goat's neck with a rope. Jimmy said it would
make the goat feel glad.
It took us a long time to harness the goat properly because it was
so fidgety. There wasn't much room in the cart, but we both managed
to squeeze in, and Faithful ran on in front. The goat doesn't like
Faithful; it has an aversion to him when he bays. Faithful knew the
goat was coming after him because he could hear the bell.
There was more room for Jimmy when I fell out, but Faithful kept
straight in the middle of the road doing the side-stroke as hard as he
could with both hands. I could hear the bell. Jimmy said a horse and
trap climbed over the hedge to let them pass. The man in the trap said
something to Jimmy, but Jimmy couldn't catch what he said; it was such
a long sentence. Jimmy said they went into an ironmonger's shop, all
of them. Faithful got there first. He deployed amongst some buckets
which were outside the shop. So did the goat. The noise disturbed the
ironmonger. He took his wife and children into the cellar. Jimmy said
it was the noise that did it, and the goat's face.
The ironmonger's wife told Jimmy she had had a shock; she spoke to him
out of the cellar window. Jimmy says she had a catch in her breath.
The goat didn't go back to the field very quickly; it was because one
of the wheels was bent and the goat seemed to have caught a hiccough.
That was because it ran so fast after eating the newspaper, Jimmy says.
He says all goats are like that.
The goat won't eat out of Jimmy's hand now; whenever it sees Jimmy it
tries to climb a tree. A boy told Jimmy that the man who owns the goat
is concerned about it, so Jimmy goes hunting German spies with Faithful
down another road now.
* * * * *
The Two Blüchers.
A century since, joy filled our cup
To hear of BLÜCHER "coming up";
To-day joy echoes round the town
To hear of _Blücher_ going down.
* * * * *
[Illustration: IN ORDER THAT NO POSSIBLE MEANS OF INJURING ENGLAND
MAY BE NEGLECTED, IT IS UNDERSTOOD THAT THE GERMAN PROFESSORS OF
NECROMANCY AND WITCHCRAFT HAVE BEEN REQUESTED TO MAKE THE BEST USE OF
THEIR MAGICAL POWERS.]
* * * * *