HIS EARLY TRAINING.
"Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old he will
not depart from it." Prov. xxii, 6. The proper training of children is
of the utmost importance. Upon it to a great extent depend their
usefulness and happiness in the world. And as the happiness of parents
is so intimately connected with the course of conduct pursued by their
children, it should be with them a constant study how they may promote
the well-being of their offspring.
On this subject much has been said and written. Some recommend
indulgence as the surest way to give a child a good disposition, and to
lead to the formation of correct habits. Others urge the necessity of
restraint and uncompromising obedience, on the part of children, to the
commands of their parents. There may be extremes in both. Children
should be taught to fear and love their parents, and to respect their
wishes. The government of children should be strictly parental. The
parent's will should be the law of the child. Proper indulgence should
be allowed; entire obedience enforced. Parents and children should both
remember the words of the apostle: "Children, obey your parents in all
things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not
your children to anger, lest they be discouraged." Col. iii, 20, 21.
Mr. and Mrs. Duran were very indulgent to their only child. His wants
were met with a liberal hand, and his wishes, as far as possible,
gratified. If his desires were not immediately granted, he soon learned
that a little crying would accomplish his object.
Improper indulgence begets unlawful desires. Unlawful desires can never
be fully satisfied. So it was with Charles Duran: everything he saw, he
wanted. When he was not indulged, as he could not be always, he soon
showed his bad spirit. Sometimes he pouted out his lips, and had a long
fit of the sulks.
Perhaps my readers never saw a child affected with the sulks. I will
briefly describe them. First, the eyes begin to roll rapidly in their
sockets, and the sight turns upward. The chin falls down a little, and
the corners of the mouth are slightly drawn back. The lower lip then
rolls down nearly to the chin. Soon a whining commences, which grows
louder and louder, and becomes disagreeable to every person present. At
the same time the eyes turn red, the face gets out of shape, and the
child becomes _blind!_ I saw a little boy once have the sulks so badly
that when his mother sent him into his room to get his apron, before
sitting down to dinner, he could not find it, though it was in plain
sight! Before he was two years old, Charles showed a very bad
disposition. This, instead of being corrected, was fostered by the
training which he received. To the domestics in the family he was
insolent and unkind; and even to his parents, _"I will"_ and _"I won't"_
were said with fearful frequency. Still the doting parents would merely
say to him, "You should not do so, Charles! You should say, 'I don't
want to,' or, 'I do want to,'" as the case might be. Thus they
indirectly taught him disobedience, which he was learning fast enough
without such assistance. In this way did these parents, with cruel
kindness, help on the ruin of their child!
Charles Duran, with all his faults, was a bright, active boy. What he
needed was training,--_parental training_. His parents committed two
very common errors: they promised him correction for his disobedience,
without inflicting the punishment; and they often repeated his sayings,
and spoke of his doings, to others, in his presence. Parents should
always keep good faith with their children; and, while they encourage
them, when they are alone, by suitable and well-timed praise, they
should rarely repeat what they have said, or speak of what they have
done, to others, in their presence. This is injurious to the child,
betrays vanity in the parents, and is not very edifying to others. The
singing of a young raven may be music to its parents, but to us it is
like the cawing of a crow.