TRUST ME.
How tired we feel, my heart and I!
--E. B. Browning.
The much-talked-of tea was standing, black as the waters of oblivion, in
the teapot when they rejoined Mrs. Palmer. Philippa was sitting
tete-a-tete with Raban, and seemed chiefly perturbed at having been kept
waiting, and because John Morgan had carried off Rhoda.
'I can't think why he did it,' said Mrs. Palmer, crossly; 'it is much
pleasanter all keeping together, and it is too silly of that little
Rhoda to make such a disturbance. As if George would have said anything
to annoy her with all of us present. Tell me, what did really happen,
Robert? Why was I not sent for?'
'I am afraid George was a good deal to blame,' said Robert, in a
confidential voice. 'I only came up after the fracas, but, from what I
hear, I am afraid he had been drinking at the bar. Dolly can tell you
more than I can, for she was present from the beginning.'
Dolly was silent: she could not speak. Frank looked at her and saw her
blush painfully. He was glad that Miss Vanborough should be spared any
farther explication, and that Mrs. Palmer beckoned him into a window to
tell him that the Admiral had the greatest horror of intemperance, and
that she remembered a fearful scene with a kitmutghar who had drained
off a bottle of her eau-de-Cologne. 'Dear George, unfortunately, was of
an excitable disposition. As for the poor Admiral, he is perfectly
ungovernable when he is roused,' said Mrs. Palmer, in her heroic manner.
'I have seen strong men like yourself, Mr. Raban, turn pale before him.
I remember a sub-lieutenant trembling like an aspen leaf: he had
neglected to call my carriage. Is it not time to be off? Dolly, what
have I done with my little blue shawl? You say George is _not_ coming?'
'Here is your little blue shawl, mamma,' said Dolly, wearily. She was
utterly dispirited: she could not understand her mother's indifference,
nor Robert's even flow of conversation: she forgot that they did not
either of them realise how serious matters had been.
'It is really too naughty of George,' was all that Mrs. Palmer said;
'and, now that I think of it, he certainly told me he might have to go
back to Cambridge to-night, so we may not see him again. Mr. Raban, if
you see him, tell him----But, I forgot,' with a gracious smile, 'we meet
you to-morrow at the Middletons'. Robert tells me my brother and his
family are come to town this week. It will be but a painful meeting I
fear. Dolly, remind me to call there in the morning. They have taken a
house in Dean's Yard, of all places. And there is Madame Frisette at
nine. How tiresome those dressmakers are.'
'Is Madame Frisette at work for Dorothea?' asked Robert, with some
interest.
Dolly did not reply, nor did she seem to care whether Madame Frisette
was at work or not. She sat leaning back in her corner, with two hands
lying listless in her lap, pale through the twilight. Frank Raban, as he
looked at her, seemed to know, almost as if she had told him in words,
what was passing in her mind. His jealous intuition made him understand
it all, he knew too, as well as if Robert had spoken, something of what
he was _not_ feeling. They went rolling on through the dusk, between
villas and dim hedges and nursery-gardens, beyond which the evening
shadows were passing; and all along the way it seemed to Dolly that she
could hear George's despairing voice ringing beyond the mist, and,
haunted by this echo, she could scarcely listen with any patience to her
companion's ripple of small talk, to Mrs. Palmer's anecdotes of Captains
and Colonels and anticipation of coming gaiety and emotions. What a
season was before her! The Admiral's return, Dolly's marriage, Lady
Henley's wearing insinuations--she dreaded to think of it all.
'You must call for us to-morrow at half-past seven, Robert, and take us
to the Middletons'. I couldn't walk into the room alone with Dolly. I
suppose Joanna, too, will be giving some at-homes. I shall have to go,
however little inclined I may feel.'
'It is always well to do what other people do,' said Robert; 'it answers
much best in the long run.'
He did not see Dolly's wondering look. Was this the life Dolly had
dreamt of? a sort of wheel of common-place to which poor unquiet souls
were to be bound, confined by platitudes, and innumerable threads, and
restrictions, and silences. She had sometimes dreamt of something more
meaningful and truer, something responding to her own nature, a life
coming straighter from the heart. She had not counted much on happiness.
Perhaps she had been too happy to wish for happiness; but to-night it
occurred to her again what life might be--a life with a truth in it and
a genuine response and a nobler scheme than any she had hitherto
realised.
Frank heard a sigh coming from her corner. They were approaching the
street where he wanted to be set down, and he, too, had something in his
mind, which he felt he must say before they parted. As he wished
Dorothea good-night he found a moment to say, in a low voice, 'I hope
you may be able to tell Lady Sarah everything that has happened, without
reserve. Do trust me. It will be best for all your sakes;' and then he
was gone before Dolly could answer.
'What did he say?' said Robert Henley. 'Are you warm enough, Dolly? Will
you have a shawl?'
He spoke so affectionately that she began to wonder whether it was
because they were not alone that he had been cold and disappointing.
They reached the house, and old Sam came to the door and Robert helped
to unpack the wrecks of the day's pleasures--the hampers, and umbrellas,
and armfuls of crumpled muslins. Then the opportunity came for Robert to
be impulsive if he chose, for Mrs. Palmer floated upstairs with her
candle to say good-night to Lady Sarah. She was kissing her hand over
the banisters, and dropping all the wax as she went along.
Robert came up to Dolly, who was standing in the hall. 'Good-night,' he
said. 'It might have been a pleasant day upon the whole if it had not
been for George. You must get him to apologise to Rhoda, Dora. I mean to
speak very plainly to him when I see him next.'
His calmness exasperated her as he stood there with his handsome face
looking down a little reproachfully at her flushed cheeks and sparkling
eyes.
'Speaking won't do a bit of good, Robert,' she said, hastily. 'Pray
don't say much to him----'
'I wonder when you will learn to trust me, Dora,' said her cousin taking
her hand. 'How shall we ever get on unless you do?'
'I am sure I don't know,' Dolly answered, wearily; 'we don't seem to
want the same things, Robert, or to be going together a bit.'
'What do you mean?' said Henley. 'You are tired and out of spirits
to-night.'
With a sudden reaction Dolly caught hold of his arm, with both hands.
'Robert! Robert! Robert!' she said, holding him fast and looking as if
she could transform him with her eyes to be what she wanted.
'Silly child,' he answered, 'I don't think you yourself know what you
want. Good-night. Don't forget to be ready in time to-morrow.'
Then he was gone, having first looked for his umbrella, and the door
banged upon Robert and the misty stars, and Dolly remained standing at
the foot of the stairs. Frank Raban's words had borne fruit as sensible
words should do. 'Trust me,' he had said; and Henley had used the same
phrase, only with Robert 'Trust me' meant believe that I cannot be
mistaken; with Frank 'Trust me' meant trust in truth in yourself and in
others. Dolly, with one of those quick impulses which come to
impressionable people, suddenly felt that he was right. All along she
had been mistaken. It would have been better, far better, from the
beginning, to have told Lady Sarah everything. She had been blinded,
over-persuaded. Marker came up to shut bolts and put out the lights.
Dolly looked up, and she went and laid her tired head on the old nurse's
shoulder, and clung to her for an instant.
'Is anything the matter, my dearie?' said Marker.
'Nothing new,' Dolly said. 'Marker, George is not come home. I have so
much to say to him! Don't bolt the door, and please leave a light.'
But George did not come home that night, although the door was left
unbolted and the light kept burning on purpose. When the morning came
his bed was folded smooth, and everything looked straight and silent in
his room, which was orderly as places are when the people are away who
inhabit them.