I had thus engaged as a volunteer, much against the wishes of my
mother, who, as she said, saw no good in war and entreated me not
again to expose myself to peril in the wilderness. If the French had
been of her opinion as to war, I might have stayed at home. We had an
unpleasant meeting, or rather parting, for she did little else but
lament; but what was there I could do? I left her in tears.
I have no intention to record here the full history of this expedition,
but rather to revive for my own interest what I, personally, saw, and
what is nowhere else fully set down.
My appointment gave satisfaction to many friends, who felt more deeply
than I myself that in the matter of commissions and as to the Villiers
affair――for that was soon noised about――I had been ill treated by the
governor. The favourable sentiments thus expressed could not, under
the circumstances, be other than pleasing to a mind which had always
walked a straight line and endeavoured, as far as human frankness and
strong passions would allow, to discharge the relative duties to his
Maker and to his fellow-countrymen without by indirect means seeking
popularity.
As I pause here before making the effort to recall some of the
incidents of the disastrous events in which I was to have a share,
I remember with pleasure the friends who felt that my honourable
invitation from a veteran general was a final answer to the censures of
the King’s governor.
Nor, in looking back over the greater war and my life in office, have
I had reason to complain of want of affection from those whose esteem
I desired to retain. Many times in my life I have, however, had just
cause to complain of things said of me by those who possessed my
regard, but I have in all such cases felt it better not to sacrifice a
friendship on account of ill temper or the indiscretion of the hour,
and am made happy in the belief that I have thus been able to keep
what I would not willingly have lost. Where men have been needed in
the service or in office, I have been still more desirous of forgiving
words or actions which affected me alone, but which did not in the end
destroy their usefulness. Nor have I myself been without need to be
thus considered, for at times I am by nature irritable and short of
temper. Lawrence once said to me that he found it more easy to forgive
his enemies than his friends; but this I did not clearly see, and,
after all, if a man is resolved to keep himself from thinking of what
is said against him, the memory of it soon becomes dulled and there is
less need of forgiveness.
Among the many evidences of esteem I had before the Braddock affair
was a letter from Captain Peyronney, now recovered of his wound, but
to die bravely on the Monongahela. He must have heard that I had been
ill spoken of by Major Muse and perhaps by others. He wrote very odd
English, but I could hardly find fault with his meaning.
SIR: I Shan’t make Bold to Describe the proceedings of the
House [of Burgesses], which no doute you have had already Some
hint of. I only will make use of these three expressions:
_furtim venerunt_; _invane Sederunt_; and _perturbate
Redierunt_.
But all that is matere of indifference to the wirginia Regiment
Collo. Washington will still Remain att the head of it,
and I spect with more esplendor than ever; for (as I hope)
notwithstanding we will Be on the British stabichment, we shall
be augmented to Six houndred and by those means entitle you to
the Name not only of protector of your Contry But to that of
the flower of the wirginians, By the powers you’ll have in your
hands to prove it So.
Many enquired to me about Muses Braveries; poor Body I h’d pity
him ha’nt he had the weakness to Confes his coardies him self,
and the impudence to taxe all the reste of the oficiers withoud
exception of the same imperfection, for he said to many of the
Consulars and Burgeses that he was Bad But th’ the reste was as
Bad as he:――
To speak francly had I been in town at that time I cou’nt
help’d to make use of my horse’s wheap for to vindicate the
injury of that villain.
he Contrived his Business so that several ask me if it was true
that he had challeng’d you to fight: my answer was no other But
that he should rather chuse to go to hell thand doing of it,
for had he had such thing declar’d: that was his Sure Road――
I have made my particular Business to tray if any had some
Bad intention against you here Below: But thank God I meet
allowais with a goad wish for you from evry mouth each one
entertining such Caracter of you as I have the honnour to do my
Self who am the Most humble