THE TRAGEDY OF GIUSEPPI ANTONIO TOLMENICINO
"'Ullo, Scratcher!" cried Bindle as the swing doors of The Yellow
Ostrich were pushed open, giving entrance to a small lantern-jawed
man, with fishy eyes and a chin obviously intended for a face three
sizes larger. "Fancy meetin' you! Wot 'ave you been doin'?"
Bindle was engaged in fetching the Sunday dinner-beer according to the
time-honoured custom.
Scratcher looked moodily at the barman, ordered a glass of beer and
turned to Bindle.
"I changed my job," he remarked mysteriously.
"Wot jer doin'?" enquired Bindle, intimating to the barman by a nod
that his pewter was to be refilled.
"Waiter," responded Scratcher.
"Waiter!" cried Bindle, regarding him with astonishment.
"Yus; at Napolini's in Regent Street;" and Scratcher replaced his
glass upon the counter and, with a dexterous upward blow, scattered to
the winds the froth that bedewed his upper lip.
"Well, I'm blowed!" said Bindle, finding solace in his refilled
tankard. "But don't you 'ave to be a foreigner to be a waiter? Don't
you 'ave to speak through your nose or somethink?"
"Noooo!" In Scratcher's voice was the contempt of superior knowledge.
"Them furriners 'ave all gone to the war, or most of 'em," he added,
"an' so we get a look-in."
"Wot d'you do?" enquired Bindle.
"Oh! we jest take orders, an' serves the grub, an' makes out the
bills, an' gets tips. I made four pound last week, all but twelve
shillings," he added.
"Well, I'm blowed!" said Bindle.
"Then," proceeded Scratcher, warming to his subject, "they often
leaves somethin' in the bottles. Last night Ole Grandpa got so
squiffy, 'e cried about 'is mother, 'e did."
"An' didn't it cost 'im anything?" enquired Ginger, who had been an
interested listener.
"Not a copper," said Scratcher impressively, "not a brass farden."
"I wish this ruddy war was over," growled Ginger. "Four pound a week,
and a free drunk. Blast the war! I say, I don't 'old wiv killin'."
"Then," continued Scratcher, "you can always get a bellyful.
There's----"
"'Old 'ard, Scratcher," interrupted Bindle. "Wot place is it you're
talkin' about?"
"Napolini's," replied Scratcher, looking at Bindle reproachfully.
"Go on, ole sport; it's all right," said Bindle resignedly. "I thought
you might 'ave got mixed up with 'eaven."
"When you takes a stoo," continued Scratcher, "you can always pick out
a bit o' meat with your fingers--if it ain't too 'ot," he added, as if
not wishing to exaggerate. "An' when it's whitebait, you can pinch
some when no one's lookin'. As for potatoes, you can 'ave all you can
eat, and soup,--well, it's there."
Scratcher's tone implied that Napolini's was literally running with
soup and potatoes.
"Don't go on, Scratcher," said Bindle mournfully; "see wot you're
a-doin' to pore Ole Ging."
"Then there's macaroni," continued Scratcher relentlessly, "them bein'
I-talians. Long strings o' white stuff, there ain't much taste; but it
fills up." Scratcher paused, then added reflectively, "You got to be
careful wi' macaroni, or it'll get down your collar; it's that
slippery."
"I suppose ole Nap ain't wantin' anyone to 'elp mop up all them
things?" enquired Bindle wistfully.
Scratcher looked at Bindle interrogatingly.
"D'you think you could find your ole pal a job at Nap's?" enquired
Bindle.
"You come down to-morrow mornin' about eleven," said Scratcher with
the air of one conferring a great favour. "Three of our chaps was
sacked a-Saturday for fightin'."
"Well, I must be movin'," said Bindle, as he picked up the blue and
white jug with the crimson butterfly. "You'll see me round at Nap's at
eleven to-morrow, Scratcher, as empty as a drum;" and with a "s'long,"
Bindle passed out of The Yellow Ostrich.
"Nice time you've kept me waiting!" snapped Mrs. Bindle, as Bindle
entered the kitchen.
"Sorry!" was Bindle's reply as he hung up his hat behind the
kitchen-door.
"Another time I shan't wait," remarked Mrs. Bindle, as she banged a
vegetable dish on the table.
Bindle became busily engaged upon roast shoulder of mutton, greens and
potatoes.
After some time he remarked, "I been after a job."
"You lorst your job again, then?" cried Mrs. Bindle in accusing tones.
"Somethin' told me you had."
"Well, I ain't," retorted Bindle; "but I 'eard o' somethink better, so
on Monday I'm orf after a job wot'll be better'n 'Earty's 'eaven."
Bindle declined further to satisfy Mrs. Bindle's curiosity.
"You wait an' see, Mrs. B., you jest wait an' see."
II
On the following morning Bindle was duly enrolled as a waiter at
Napolini's. He soon discovered that, whatever the privileges and
perquisites of the fully-experienced waiter, the part of the novice
was one of thorns rather than of roses. He was attached as assistant
to a diminutive Italian, with a fierce upward-brushed moustache.
Bindle had not been three minutes under his direction before he
precipitated a crisis that almost ended in open warfare.
"Wot's your name, ole son?" he enquired. "Mine's Bindle--Joseph
Bindle."
"Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino," replied the Italian with astonishing
rapidity.
"Is it really?" remarked Bindle, examining his chief with interest, as
he proceeded deftly to lay a table. "Sounds like a machine-gun, don't
it?" Then after a pause he remarked quite innocently, "Look 'ere, ole
sport, I'll call you Kayser."
In a flash Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino turned upon Bindle, his
moustache bristling like the spines of a wild-boar, and from his lips
poured a passionate stream of Southern invective.
Unable to understand a word of the burning phrases of reproach that
eddied and flowed about him, Bindle merely stared. There was a patter
of feet from all parts of the long dining-room, and soon he was the
centre of an angry crowd of excited gesticulating waiters, with
Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino screaming his fury in the centre.
"Hi!" called Bindle to Scratcher, who appeared through the
service-door, just as matters seemed about to break into open
violence. "'Ere! Scratcher, wot's up? Call 'im orf."
"Wot did you call 'im, Joe?" enquired Scratcher, pushing his way
through the crowd.
"I asked 'is name, an' then 'e went off like the 'mad minute,' so I
said I'd call 'im 'Kayser,' because of 'is whiskers."
At the repetition of the obnoxious word, Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino
shook his fist in Bindle's face, and screamed more hysterically than
ever. He was white to the lips, at the corners of his mouth two little
points of white foam had collected, and his eyes blinked with the
rapidity of a cinematograph film.
With the aid of three other waiters, Scratcher succeeded in restoring
peace. Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino's fortissimo reproaches were
reduced to piano murmurs by the explanation that Bindle meant no harm,
added to which Bindle apologised.
"Look 'ere," he said, genuinely regretful at the effect of his remark,
"'ow was I to know that you was that sensitive, you lookin' so fierce
too."
The arrival of one of the superintendents put an end to the dispute;
but it was obvious that Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino nourished in his
heart a deep resentment against Bindle for his unintentioned insult.
"Fancy 'im takin' on like that," muttered Bindle, as he strove to
adjust a white tablecloth so that it hung in equal folds on all sides
of the table. "Funny things foreigners, as 'uffy as birds, they are."
Turning to Scratcher, who was passing at the moment, he enquired, "Wot
the 'ell am I a-goin' to call 'im?"
"Call who?" enquired Scratcher, his mouth full of something.
Bindle looked about warily. "Ole Kayser," he whispered. "'E's that
sensitive. Explodes if you looks at 'im, 'e does."
Scratcher worked hard to reduce the contents of his mouth to
conversational proportions.
"I can't never remember 'is name," continued Bindle. "Went off like a
rattle it did."
"Don't know 'is name myself," said Scratcher after a gigantic swallow.
"'E's new."
"Wouldn't 'elp you much, ole son, if you did know it," said Bindle
with conviction. "Seemed to me like a patent gargle. Never 'eard
anythink like it."
"'Ere!" said Bindle to Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino, who was darting
past on his way to another table. The Italian paused, hatred
smouldering in his dark eyes.
"I can't remember that name o' yours, ole sport," said Bindle. "Sorry,
but I ain't a gramophone. Wot 'ave I got to call you?"
"Call me sair," replied Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino with dignity.
"Call you wot?" cried Bindle indignantly. "Call you wot?"
"Call me sair," repeated the Italian.
"Me call a foreigner 'sir!'" cried Bindle. "Now ain't you the funniest
ole 'Uggins."
Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino cast upon Bindle a look of consuming
hatred.
"Look 'ere," remarked Bindle cheerfully, "if you goes about a-lookin'
like that, you'll spoil the good impression them whiskers make."
Murder flashed in the eyes of the Italian, as he ground out a
paralysing oath in his own tongue.
"There's a-goin' to be trouble between me an' ole 'Okey-Pokey.
Pleasant sort o' cove to 'ave about the 'ouse."
Customers began to drift in, and soon Bindle was kept busy fetching
and carrying for Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino, who by every means in
his power strove to give expression to the hatred of Bindle that was
burning in his soul.
At the end of the first day,--it was in reality the early hours of the
next morning,--as Bindle with Scratcher walked from Napolini's to the
Tube, he remarked, "Well, I ain't 'ungry, though I could drink a deal
more; still I says nothink about that; but as for tips, well, ole
'Okey-Pokey's pocketed every bloomin' penny. When I asked him to divvy
up fair, 'e started that machine-gun in 'is tummy, rolled 'is eyes,
an' seemed to be tryin' to tell me wot a great likin' 'e'd taken to
me. One o' these days somethink's goin' to 'appen to 'im," added
Bindle prophetically. "'E ain't no sport, any'ow."
"Wot's 'e done?" enquired Scratcher.
"I offered to fight 'im for the tips, an' all 'e did was to turn on
'is rattle;" and Bindle winked at the girl-conductor, who clanged the
train-gates behind him.
For nearly a week Bindle continued to work thirteen hours a day,
satisfying the hunger of others and quenching alien thirsts. Thanks to
judicious hints from Scratcher, at the same time he found means of
ministering to his own requirements. He tasted new and strange foods;
but of all his discoveries in the realm of dietetics, curried prawns
held pride of place. More than one customer looked anxiously into the
dark brown liquid, curious as to what had become of the blunt-pointed
crescents; but, disliking the fuss attending complaint, he ascribed
the reduction in their number to the activities of the Food
Controller.
When, as occasionally happened in the absence of his chief, Bindle
came into direct contact with a customer and received an order, he
invariably found himself utterly at a loss.
"Bouillabaisse de Marseilles, pommes sautees," called out one
customer. Bindle, who was hurrying past, came to a dead stop and
regarded him with interest.
"D'you mind sayin' that again, sir," he remarked.
"Bouillabaisse de Marseilles, pommes sautees," repeated the customer.
"Well, I'm blowed!" was Bindle's comment.
The customer stared, but before he had time to reply Bindle was
unceremoniously pushed aside by Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino, who, pad
in hand, bent over the customer with servile intentness.
"Wot did 'e mean? Was 'e tellin' me 'is name?" enquired Bindle of a
lath-like youth, with frizzy hair and a face incapable of expressing
anything beyond a meaningless grin. It was Scratcher, however, who
told the puzzled Bindle that the customer had been ordering lunch and
not divulging his identity.
"Bullybase de Marsales pumsortay is things to eat, Joe," he explained;
"you got to learn the mane-yu."
"Well, I'm blowed!" was Bindle's sole comment. "Fancy people eatin'
things with names like that." He followed Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino
towards the "service" regions in response to an imperious motion of
his dark, well-greased head.
When Bindle returned to the dining-room, after listening to the
unintelligible rebukes of his immediate superior, he found himself
beckoned to the side of the customer whose wants he had found himself
unable to comprehend.
"New to this job?" he enquired.
"You've 'it it, sir," was Bindle's reply. "New _as_ new. I'm in the
furniture-movin' line myself; but Scratcher told me this 'ere was a
soft job, an' so I took it on. 'E didn't happen to mention 'Okey-Pokey
'owever."
"Hokey-Pokey!" interrogated the guest.
"That chap with 'is whiskers growin' up 'is nose," explained Bindle.
"All prickles 'e is. Can't say anythink without 'urtin' 'is feelin's.
Never come across such a cove."
Later, when the customer left, it was to Bindle and not to Giuseppi
Antonio Tolmenicino that he gave his tip. This precipitated a crisis.
Once out of the dining-room the Italian demanded of Bindle the money.
"You shall 'ave 'alf, ole son," said Bindle magnanimously, "if you
forks out 'alf of wot you've 'ad given you, see?" Giuseppi Antonio
Tolmenicino did not see. His eyes snapped, his moustache bristled, his
sallow features took on a shade of grey and, discarding English, he
launched into a torrent of words in his own tongue.
Bindle stood regarding his antagonist much as he would a juggler, or
quick-change artist. His good-humoured calm seemed to goad Giuseppi
Antonio Tolmenicino to madness. With a sudden movement he seized a
bottle from another waiter and, brandishing it above his head, rushed
at Bindle.
Bindle stepped swiftly aside; but in doing so managed to place his
right foot across Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino's path. The Italian
lurched forward, bringing down the bottle with paralysing force upon
the shoulder of another waiter, who, heavily laden, was making towards
the dining-room.
The assaulted waiter screamed, Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino rolled on
the floor, and the assaulted waiter's burden fell with a crash on top
of him. The man who had been struck hopped about the room holding his
shoulder, his shirt-front dyed a deep red with the wine that had
flowed over it.
"Never see such a mess in all my puff," said Bindle in describing the
scene afterwards. "Pore ole 'Okey-Pokey comes down on 'is back and a
lot o' tomato soup falls on 'is 'ead. Then a dish o' whitebait gets on
top of that, so 'e 'as soup and fish any'ow. Funny thing to see them
little fishes sticking out o' the red soup. 'E got an 'erring down 'is
collar, and a dish of macaroni in 'is ear, an' all 'is clothes was
covered with different things. An 'ole bloomin' mane-yu, 'e was. 'Oly
Angels! but 'e was a sight."
For a moment Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino lay inert, then he slowly
sat up and looked about him, mechanically picking whitebait out of his
hair, and removing a creme caramel from the inside of his waistcoat.
Suddenly his eyes lighted on Bindle.
In an instant he was on his feet and, with head down and arms waving
like flails, he rushed at his enemy.
At that moment the door leading into the dining-room was opened and,
attracted by the hubbub, Mr. James Smith, who before the war had been
known as Herr Siegesmann, the chief superintendent, entered. He was a
heavy man of ponderous proportions, with Dundreary whiskers and a
pompous manner. His entrance brought him directly into the line of
Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino's attack. Before he could take in the
situation, the Italian's head, covered with tomato soup and bristling
with whitebait, caught him full in the centre of his person, and he
went down with a sobbing grunt, the Italian on top of him.
The shock released a considerable portion of the food adhering to
Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino on to the chief superintendent. Whitebait
forsook the ebon locks of the waiter and dived into the magnificent
Dundrearys of Herr Smith, and on his shirt-front was the impression of
Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino's features in tomato soup.
Without a moment's hesitation Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino was on his
feet once more; but Bindle, feeling that the time had arrived for
action, was equally quick. Taking him from behind by the collar he
worked his right arm up as high as it would go behind his back. The
Italian screamed with the pain; but Bindle held fast.
"You ain't safe to be trusted about, ole sport," he remarked, "an' I
got to 'old you, until Ole Whiskers decides wot's goin' to be done.
You'll get six months for wastin' food like this. Why, you looks like
a bloomin' restaurant. Look at 'im!" Bindle gazed down at the
prostrate superintendent. "Knocked 'is wind out, you 'ave. Struck 'im
bang in the solar-plexus, blowed if you didn't!"
With rolling eyes and foaming mouth Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino
screamed his maledictions. A group of waiters was bending over Herr
Smith. One was administering brandy, another was plucking whitebait
out of his whiskers, a third was trying to wipe the tomato soup from
his shirt-front, an operation which transformed a red archipelago into
a flaming continent.
When eventually the superintendent sat up, he looked like a whiskered
robin redbreast. He gazed from one to the other of the waiters engaged
upon his renovation. Then his eye fell upon Giuseppi Antonio
Tolmenicino. He uttered the one significant British word.
"Berlice!"
When Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino left Napolini's that evening, it was
in the charge of two policemen, with two more following to be prepared
for eventualities. Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino was what is known
professionally as "violent." Not satisfied with the food that was
plastered upon his person, he endeavoured by means of his teeth to
detach a portion of the right thigh of Police-constable Higgins, and
with his feet to raise bruises where he could on the persons of his
captors.
"Pore ole 'Okey-Pokey!" remarked Bindle, as he returned to the
dining-room, where he had now been allotted two tables, for which he
was to be entirely responsible. "Pore ole 'Okey-Pokey. I'm afraid I
got 'is goat; but didn't 'e make a mess of Ole Whiskers!"
Herr Smith had gone home. When a man is sixty years of age and,
furthermore, when he has been a superintendent of a restaurant for
upwards of twenty-five years, he cannot with impunity be rammed in the
solar-plexus by a hard-headed and vigorous Italian.
While Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino in a cell at Vine Street Police
Station was forecasting the downfall of the Allies by the secession of
Italy from the Entente, Bindle was striving to satisfy the demands of
the two sets of customers that sat at his tables. He made mistakes,
errors of commission and omission; but his obviously genuine desire to
satisfy everybody inclined people to be indulgent.
The man who was waiting for pancakes received with a smile
half-a-dozen oysters; whilst another customer was bewildered at
finding himself expected to commence his meal with pancakes and jam.
When such errors were pointed out, Bindle would scratch his head in
perplexity, then, as light dawned upon him, he would break out into a
grin, make a dive for the pancakes and quickly exchange them for the
oysters.
The names of the various dishes he found almost beyond him and, to
overcome the difficulty, he asked the customers to point out on the
menu what they required. Then again he found himself expected to carry
a multiplicity of plates and dishes.
At first he endeavoured to emulate his confreres. On one occasion he
set out from the dining-room with three dishes containing respectively
"caille en casserole," a Welsh rarebit, and a steak and fried
potatoes. The steak and fried potatoes were for a lady of ample
proportions with an almost alarmingly low-cut blouse. In placing the
steak and metal dish of potatoes before her, Bindle's eye for a second
left the other two plates, which began to tilt.
The proprietor of the large-bosomed lady was, with the aid of a
fish-knife, able to hold in place the Welsh rarebit; but he was too
late in his endeavour to reach the under-plate on which reposed the
"caille en casserole," which suddenly made a dive for the apex of the
V of the lady's blouse.
As she felt the hot, moist bird touch her, she gave a shriek and
started back. Bindle also started, and the lady's possessor lost his
grip on the Welsh rarebit, which slid off the plate on to his lap.
Greatly concerned, Bindle placed the empty Welsh rarebit plate quickly
on the table and, seizing a fork, stabbed the errant and romantic
quail, replacing it upon its plate. He then went to the assistance of
the gentleman who had received the Welsh rarebit face downwards on his
lap.
With great care Bindle returned it to the plate, with the exception of
such portions as clung affectionately to the customer's person.
To confound confusion the superintendent dashed up full of apologies
for the customers and threatening looks for the cause of the mishap.
Bindle turned to the lady, who was hysterically dabbing her chest with
a napkin.
"I 'ope you ain't 'urt, mum," he said with genuine solicitude; "I
didn't see where 'e was goin', slippery little devil!" and Bindle
regarded the bird reproachfully. Then remembering that another was
waiting for it, he crossed over to the table at which sat the customer
who had ordered "caille en casserole" and placed the plate before him.
The man looked up in surprise.
"You'd better take that away," he said. "That bird's a bit too
enterprising for me."
"A bit too wot, sir?" interrogated Bindle, lifting the plate to his
nose. "I don't smell it, sir," he added seriously.
"I ordered 'caille en casserole,'" responded the man. "You bring me
'caille en cocotte.'"
"D'you mind saying that in English, sir?" asked Bindle, wholly at sea.
At that moment he was pushed aside by the owner of the lady of
generous proportions. Thrusting his face forward until it almost
touched that of the "caille" guest, he launched out into a volley of
reproaches.
"Mon Dieu!" he shouted, "you have insulted that lady. You are a
scoundrel, a wretch, a traducer of fair women;" and he went on in
French to describe the customer's ancestry and possible progeny.
Throughout the dining-room the guests rose to see what was happening.
Many came to the scene of the mishap. By almost superhuman efforts and
an apology from the customer who had ordered "caille en casserole,"
peace was restored and, at a motion from the superintendent, Bindle
carried the offending bird to the kitchen to exchange it for another,
a simple process that was achieved by having it re-heated and returned
on a clean plate.
"This 'ere all comes about through these coves wantin' foreign food,"
muttered Bindle to himself. "If they'd all 'ave a cut from the joint
and two veges, it 'ud be jest as simple as drinkin' beer. An' ain't
they touchy too," he continued. "Can't say a word to 'em, but what
they flies up and wants to scratch each other's eyes out."
Tranquillity restored, Bindle continued his ministrations. For half an
hour everything went quietly until two customers ordered ginger beer,
one electing to drink it neat, and the other in conjunction with a
double gin. Bindle managed to confuse the two glasses. The customer
who had been forced to break his pledge was greatly distressed, and
much official tact on the part of a superintendent was required to
soothe his injured feelings.
"Seems to me," muttered Bindle, "that I gets all the crocks. If
there's anythink funny about, it comes and sits down at one o' my
tables. Right-o, sir, comin'!" he called to an impatient customer,
who, accompanied by a girl clothed principally in white boots, rouge
and peroxide, had seated himself at the table just vacated by a couple
from the suburbs.
The man ordered a generous meal, including a bottle of champagne.
Bindle attentively wrote down a phonetic version of the customer's
requirements. The wine offered no difficulty, it was numbered.
Bindle had observed that wine was frequently carried to customers in a
white metal receptacle, sometimes containing hot water, at others
powdered ice. No one had told him of the different treatment accorded
to red and white wines. Desirous of giving as little trouble as
possible to his fellows, he determined on this occasion to act on his
own initiative. Obtaining a wine-cooler, he had it filled with hot
water and, placing the bottle of champagne in it, hurried back to the
customer.
Placing the wine-cooler on a service-table, he left it for a few
minutes, whilst he laid covers for the new arrivals.
The lady thirstily demanded the wine. Bindle lifted it from its
receptacle, wound a napkin round it as he had seen others do and,
nippers in hand, carried it to the table.
He cut the wires. Suddenly about half a dozen different things seemed
to happen at the same moment. The cork leapt joyously from the neck of
the bottle and, careering across the room, caught the edge of the
monocle of a diner and planted it in the soup of another at the next
table, just as he was bending down to take a spoonful. The liquid
sprayed his face. He looked up surprised, not having seen the cause.
He who had lost the monocle began searching about in a short-sighted
manner for his lost property.
The cork, continuing on its way, took full in the right eye a customer
of gigantic proportions. He dropped his knife and fork and roared with
pain. Bindle watched the course of the cork in amazement, holding the
bottle as a fireman does the nozzle of a hose. From the neck squirted
a stream of white foam, catching the lady of the white boots, rouge
and peroxide full in the face. She screamed.
"You damn fool!" yelled the man to Bindle.
In his amazement Bindle turned suddenly to see from what quarter this
rebuke had come, and the wine caught the man just beneath the chin.
Never had champagne behaved so in the whole history of Napolini's. A
superintendent rushed up and, with marvellous presence of mind, seized
a napkin and stopped the stream. Then he snatched the bottle from
Bindle's hands, at the same time calling down curses upon his head for
his stupidity.
The lady in white boots, rouge and peroxide was gasping and dabbing
her face with a napkin, which was now a study in pink and white. Her
escort was feeling the limpness of his collar and endeavouring to
detach his shirt from his chest. The gentleman who had lost his
monocle was explaining to the owner of the soup what had happened, and
asking permission to fish for the missing crystal that was lying
somewhere in the depths of the stranger's mulligatawny.
Bindle was gazing from one to the other in astonishment. "Fancy
champagne be'avin' like that," he muttered. "Might 'ave been a
stone-ginger in 'ot weather."
At that moment the superintendent discovered the wine-cooler full of
hot water. One passionate question he levelled at Bindle, who nodded
cheerfully in reply. Yes, it was he who had put the champagne bottle
in hot water.
This sealed Bindle's fate as a waiter. Determined not to allow him out
of his sight again, the superintendent haled him off to the manager's
room, there to be formally discharged.
"Ah! this is the man," said the manager to an inspector of police with
whom he was engaged in conversation as Bindle and the superintendent
entered.
The inspector took a note-book from his pocket.
"What is your name and address?" he asked of Bindle.
Bindle gave the necessary details, adding, "I'm a special, Fulham
District. Wot's up?"
"You will be wanted at Marlborough Street Police Court to-morrow at
ten with regard to"--he referred to his note-book--"a charge against
Giuseppi Antonio Tolmenicino," said the inspector.
"Wot's 'e goin' to be charged with, assault an' battery?" enquired
Bindle curiously.
"Under the Defence of the Realm Act," replied the inspector.
"Documents were found on him."
Bindle whistled. "Well, I'm blowed! A spy! I never did trust them sort
o' whiskers," he muttered as he left the manager's room.
Five minutes later he left Napolini's for ever, whistling at the
stretch of his powers "So the Lodger Pawned His Second Pair of Boots."