“You are looking very well, what sort of a time have you had?”
“Oh! an excellent time!” said the philosopher. “The fences have taken
off my fat; the stones have massaged my feet; the mud-baths have
cured me of my rheumatism; the plain food has cured my liver, and the
pine-trees my lungs; and, could you believe it, the brown spring-water
contained iron, just what I wanted!”
“Well, you old philosopher,” said the partner, “don’t you understand
that from the negative you get a positive, where all the shade becomes
light again? If you would only take such a positive picture of me and
try and find out what faults I do _not_ possess, you would not dislike
me so much. Only think: I don’t drink, and therefore I am able to manage
the business; I don’t steal; I never talk evil of you behind your back;
I never complain; I never make white appear black; I am never rude to
the customers; I rise early in the morning; I clean my nails so as to
keep the developer clean; I leave my hat on so that no hairs shall fall
on the plates; I smoke so as to purify the air of poisonous gases; I
keep the door ajar so as not to make a noise in the studio; I drink beer
in the evening so as to escape the temptation of drinking whisky; and I
put the knife into my mouth because I am afraid of pricking myself with
the fork.”
“You really are a great philosopher,” said the photographer, “henceforth
we will be friends! Then we shall get on in life!”