[300] See No. 50.
[301] Perhaps Dr. Thomas Walker, head schoolmaster at the Charter
House, where Steele and Addison were scholars. In the _Spectator_, No.
488, Dr. Walker is alluded to as "the ingenious T. W."
[302] "Æneid," vi. 164.
No. 99. [STEELE.
From _Thursday, Nov. 24_, to _Saturday, Nov. 26, 1709_.
Spirat tragicum satis et feliciter audet.--HOR., 2 Ep. i. 166.
_Will's Coffee-house, Nov. 25._
I have been this evening recollecting what passages (since I could
first think) have left the strongest impressions upon my mind; and
after strict inquiry, I am convinced, that the impulses I have received
from theatrical representations, have had a greater effect than
otherwise would have been wrought in me by the little occurrences of my
private life. My old friends, Hart[304] and Mohun,[305] the one by his
natural and proper force, the other by his great skill and art, never
failed to send me home full of such ideas as affected my behaviour,
and made me insensibly more courteous and humane to my friends and
acquaintance. It is not the business of a good play to make every man a
hero; but it certainly gives him a livelier sense of virtue and merit
than he had when he entered the theatre. This rational pleasure (as
I always call it) has for many years been very little tasted; but I
am glad to find, that the true spirit of it is reviving again amongst
us, by a due regard to what is presented, and by supporting only one
play-house.[306] It has been within the observation of the youngest
amongst us, that while there were two houses, they did not outvie each
other by such representations as tended to the instruction and ornament
of life, but by introducing mimical dances and fulsome buffooneries.
For when an excellent tragedy was to be acted in one house, the
ladder-dancer[307] carried the whole town to the other: and indeed such
an evil as this must be the natural consequence of two theatres, as
certainly as that there are more who can see than can think. Every one
is judge of the danger of the fellow on the ladder, and his activity in
coming down safe; but very few are judges of the distress of a hero in
a play, or of his manner of behaviour in those circumstances. Thus, to
please the people, two houses must entertain them with what they can
understand, and not with things which are designed to improve their
understanding: and the readiest way to gain good audiences, must be to
offer such things as are most relished by the crowd; that is to say,
immodest action, empty show, or impertinent activity. In short, two
houses cannot hope to subsist, but by means which are contradictory to
the very institution of a theatre in a well-governed kingdom.
I have ever had this sense of the thing, and for that reason have
rejoiced that my ancient coeval friend of Drury Lane,[308] though he
had sold off most of his movables, still kept possession of his palace,
and trembled for him, when he had lately like to have been taken by
a stratagem. There have for many ages been a certain learned sort of
unlearned men in this nation called attorneys, who have taken upon
them to solve all difficulties by increasing them, and are called upon
to the assistance of all who are lazy, or weak of understanding. The
insolence of a ruler of this place made him resign the possession of it
to the management of my above-mentioned friend Divito. Divito was too
modest to know when to resign it, till he had the opinion and sentence
of the law for his removal. Both these in length of time were obtained
against him: but as the great Archimedes defended Syracuse with so
powerful engines, that if he threw a rope or piece of wood over the
wall, the enemy fled; so Divito had wounded all adversaries with so
much skill, that men feared even to be in the right against him. For
this reason, the lawful ruler sets up an attorney to expel an attorney,
and chose a name dreadful to the stage,[309] who only seemed able to
beat Divito out of his entrenchments.
On the 22nd instant, a night of public rejoicing, the enemies of
Divito made a largess to the people of faggots, tubs, and other
combustible matter, which was erected into a bonfire before the palace.
Plentiful cans were at the same time distributed among the dependencies
of that principality; and the artful rival of Divito observing them
prepared for enterprise, presented the lawful owner of the neighbouring
edifice, and showed his deputation under him. War immediately ensued
upon the peaceful empire of wit and the Muses; the Goths and Vandals
sacking Rome did not threaten a more barbarous devastation of arts and
sciences. But when they had forced their entrance, the experienced
Divito had detached all his subjects, and evacuated all his stores. The
neighbouring inhabitants report, that the refuse of Divito's followers
marched off the night before disguised in magnificence; door-keepers
came out clad like cardinals, and scene-drawers like heathen gods.
Divito himself was wrapped up in one of his black clouds, and left to
the enemy nothing but an empty stage, full of trap-doors, known only to
himself and his adherents.
_From my own Apartment, Nov. 25._
I have already taken great pains to inspire notions of honour and
virtue into the people of this kingdom, and used all gentle methods
imaginable, to bring those who are dead in idleness, folly, and
pleasure, into life, by applying themselves to learning, wisdom, and
industry. But since fair means are ineffectual, I must proceed to
extremities, and shall give my good friends the Company of Upholders
full power to bury all such dead as they meet with, who are within my
former descriptions of deceased persons. In the meantime the following
remonstrance of that corporation I take to be very just:
_From our Office near the Haymarket, Nov. 23._
"WORTHY SIR,
"Upon reading your _Tatler_ of Saturday last,[310] by which we
received the agreeable news of so many deaths, we immediately
ordered in a considerable quantity of blacks; and our servants
have wrought night and day ever since, to furnish out the
necessaries for these deceased. But so it is, Sir, that of this
vast number of dead bodies, that go putrefying up and down the
streets, not one of them has come to us to be buried. Though
we should be both to be any hindrance to our good friends the
physicians, yet we cannot but take notice, what infection her
Majesty's subjects are liable to from the horrible stench of so
many corpses. Sir, we will not detain you; our case in short is
this: here are we embarked, in this undertaking for the public
good: now if people shall be suffered to go on unburied at
this rate, there's an end of the usefullest manufactures and
handicrafts of the kingdom: for where will be your sextons,
coffin-makers, and plumbers? What will become of your embalmers,
epitaph-mongers, and chief mourners? We are loth to drive this
matter any further, though we tremble at the consequences of it:
for if it shall be left to every dead man's discretion not to
be buried till he sees his time, no man can say where that will
end; but thus much we will take upon us to affirm, that such a
toleration will be intolerable.
"What would make us easy in this matter, is no more but that your
Worship would be pleased to issue out your orders to ditto dead
to repair forthwith to our office, in order to their interment,
where constant attendance shall be given to treat with all persons
according to their quality, and the poor to be buried for
nothing; and for the convenience of such persons as are willing
enough to be dead, but that they are afraid their friends and
relations should know it, we have a back door into Warwick Street,
from whence they may be interred with all secrecy imaginable,
and without loss of time, or hindrance of business. But in case
of obstinacy (for we would gladly make a thorough riddance), we
desire a further power from your Worship, to take up such deceased
as shall not have complied with your first orders, wherever we
meet them; and if after that there shall be complaints of any
persons so offending, let them lie at our doors.--We are,
"Your Worship's till death,
THE MASTER AND COMPANY OF UPHOLDERS.
"_P.S._--We are ready to give in our printed proposals at large;
and if your Worship approves of our undertaking, we desire the
following advertisement may be inserted in your next paper:
"Whereas a commission of interment has been awarded against Dr.
John Partridge,[311] philomath, professor of physic and astrology;
and whereas the said Partridge hath not surrendered himself,
nor shown cause to the contrary, these are to certify, that the
Company of Upholders will proceed to bury him from Cordwainers'
Hall, on Tuesday the 29th instant, where any six of his surviving
friends, who still believe him to be alive, are desired to come
prepared to hold up the pall.
"_Note._--We shall light away at six in the evening, there being
to be a sermon." #/