[235] Perhaps Alexander Bayne (died 1737), an advocate then living
in London, and afterwards Professor of Scots Law at Edinburgh. See
Hughes's "Correspondence," i. 56.
[236] A notorious character of the time of Charles II., to whom
Wycherley dedicated his "Plain Dealer," under the title of "My Lady
B----," in a long ironical address respecting herself and women of her
class, which is praised by Steele in the _Spectator_ (No. 266).
[237] No. 81.
[238] "A table of fame for the ladies will be published as soon as
materials can be collected, to which end the public are desired to
contribute, and it will be gratefully acknowledged." (_Female Tatler_,
No. 58, Nov. 7, 1709.)
The writer of the "General Postscript" advertised his intention of
erecting speedily a temple of honour for British heroes only (No.
11, October 11, 1709). The same writer says, that Mr. Tatler and his
admirers were wrapped up in his "table of fame" (November 11, 1709).
[239] Possibly William Walsh, a man of fashion and critic, who was a
friend both of Dryden and Pope. Johnson says, "He is known more by
his familiarity with greater men, than by anything done or written by
himself."
No. 85. [STEELE.
From _Saturday, Oct. 22_, to _Tuesday, Oct. 25, 1709_.
_From my own Apartment, October 24._
My brother Tranquillus,[240] who is a man of business, came to me
this morning into my study, and after very many civil expressions
in return for what good offices I had done him, told me, he desired
to carry his wife, my sister, that very morning to his own house. I
readily told him I would wait upon him, without asking why he was so
impatient to rob us of his good company. He went out of my chamber, and
I thought seemed to have a little heaviness upon him, which gave me
some disquiet. Soon after, my sister came to me with a very matron-like
air, and most sedate satisfaction in her looks, which spoke her very
much at ease; but the traces of her countenance seemed to discover
that she had been lately in passion, and that air of content to flow
from a certain triumph upon some advantage obtained. She no sooner sat
down by me, but I perceived she was one of those ladies who begin to
be managers within the time of their being brides. Without letting her
speak (which I saw she had a mighty inclination to do), I said, "Here
has been your husband, who tells me he has a mind to go home this very
morning; and I have consented to it." "It is well," said she, "for
you must know--" "Nay, Jenny," said I, "I beg your pardon, for it is
you must know--you are to understand, that now is the time to fix or
alienate your husband's heart for ever; and I fear you have been a
little indiscreet in your expressions or behaviour towards him even
here in my house." "There has," says she, "been some words; but I'll
be judged by you if he was not in the wrong: nay, I need not be judged
by anybody, for he gave it up himself, and said not a word, when he
saw me grow passionate, but 'Madam, you are perfectly in the right of
it.' As you shall judge--" "Nay, madam," said I, "I am judge already,
and tell you, that you are perfectly in the wrong of it; for if it
was a matter of importance, I know he has better sense than you; if a
trifle, you know what I told you on your wedding-day, that you were to
be above little provocations." She knows very well I can be sour upon
occasion, therefore gave me leave to go on. "Sister," said I, "I will
not enter into the dispute between you, which I find his prudence put
an end to before it came to extremity, but charge you to have a care of
the first quarrel, as you tender your happiness; for then it is that
the mind will reflect harshly upon every circumstance that has ever
passed between you. If such an accident is ever to happen (which I hope
never will), be sure to keep to the circumstance before you; make no
allusions to what is past, or conclusions referring to what is to come:
don't show an hoard of matter for dissension in your breast; but if it
is necessary, lay before him the thing as you understand it, candidly,
without being ashamed of acknowledging an error, or proud of being
in the right. If a young couple be not careful in this point, they
will get into a habit of wrangling: and when to displease is thought
of no consequence, to please is always of as little moment. There is
a play, Jenny, I have formerly been at when I was a student: we got
into a dark corner with a porringer of brandy, and threw raisins into
it, then set it on fire. My chamber-fellow and I diverted ourselves
with the sport of venturing our fingers for the raisins; and the
wantonness of the thing was, to see each other look like a demon as we
burnt ourselves and snatched out the fruit. This fantastical mirth was
called snap-dragon. You may go into many a family, where you see the
man and wife at this sport: every word at their table alludes to some
passage between themselves; and you see by the paleness and emotion
in their countenances, that it is for your sake, and not their own,
that they forbear playing out the whole game, in burning each other's
fingers. In this case, the whole purpose of life is inverted, and the
ambition turns upon a certain contention, who shall contradict best,
and not upon an inclination to excel in kindnesses and good offices.
Therefore, dear Jenny, remember me, and avoid snap-dragon." "I thank
you, brother," said she, "but you don't know how he loves me; I find I
can do anything with him." "If you can so, why should you desire to do
anything but please him? But I have a word or two more before you go
out of the room; for I see you do not like the subject I am upon. Let
nothing provoke you to fall upon an imperfection he cannot help; for
if he has a resenting spirit, he will think your aversion as immovable
as the imperfection with which you upbraid him. But above all, dear
Jenny, be careful of one thing, and you will be something more than
woman, that is, a levity you are almost all guilty of, which is, to
take a pleasure in your power to give pain. It is even in a mistress
an argument of meanness of spirit, but in a wife it is injustice and
ingratitude. When a sensible man once observes this in a woman, he
must have a very great or a very little spirit to overlook it. A woman
ought therefore to consider very often, how few men there are who
will regard a meditated offence as a weakness of temper." I was going
on in my confabulation, when Tranquillus entered. She cast her eyes
upon him with much shame and confusion, mixed with great complacency
and love, and went up to him. He took her in his arms, and looked so
many soft things at one glance, that I could see he was glad I had
been talking to her, sorry she had been troubled, and angry at himself
that he could not disguise the concern he was in an hour before. After
which, he says to me, with an air awkward enough, but methought not
unbecoming, "I have altered my mind, brother; we'll live upon you a
day or two longer." I replied, "That's what I have been persuading
Jenny to ask of you; but she is resolved never to contradict your
inclination, and refused me." We were going on in that way which one
hardly knows how to express; as when two people mean the same thing
in a nice case, but come at it by talking as distantly from it as they
can; when very opportunely came in upon us an honest inconsiderable
fellow, Tim Dapper, a gentleman well known to us both. Tim is one of
those who are very necessary by being very inconsiderable. Tim dropped
in at an incident when we knew not how to fall into either a grave or
a merry way. My sister took this occasion to make off, and Dapper gave
us an account of all the company he had been in to-day, who was and who
was not at home, where he visited. This Tim is the head of a species:
he is a little out of his element in this town; but he is a relation
of Tranquillus, and his neighbour in the country, which is the true
place of residence for this species. The habit of a Dapper, when he is
at home, is a light broadcloth, with calamanco[241] or red waistcoat
and breeches; and it is remarkable, that their wigs seldom hide the
collar of their coats. They have always a peculiar spring in their
arms, a wriggle in their bodies, and a trip in their gait; all which
motions they express at once in their drinking, bowing, or saluting
ladies; for a distant imitation of a forward fop, and a resolution to
overtop him in his way, are the distinguishing marks of a Dapper. These
under-characters of men are parts of the sociable world by no means to
be neglected: they are like pegs in a building. They make no figure in
it, but hold the structure together, and are as absolutely necessary
as the pillars and columns. I am sure we found it so this morning; for
Tranquillus and I should perhaps have looked cold at each other the
whole day, but Dapper fell in with his brisk way, shook us both by the
hand, rallied the bride, mistook the acceptance he met with amongst
us for extraordinary perfection in himself, and heartily pleased,
and was pleased, all the while he stayed. His company left us all in
good-humour, and we were not such fools as to let it sink, before we
confirmed it by great cheerfulness and openness in our carriage the
whole evening.
_White's Chocolate-house, October 24._
I have been this evening to visit a lady who is a relation of the
enamoured Cynthio,[242] and there heard the melancholy news of his
death. I was in hopes that fox-hunting and October would have recovered
him from his unhappy passion. He went into the country with a design
to leave behind him all thoughts of Clarissa; but he found that place
only more convenient to think of her without interruption. The country
gentlemen were very much puzzled upon his case, and never finding him
merry or loud in their company, took him for a Roman Catholic, and
immediately upon his death seized his French valet-de-chambre for a
priest; and it is generally thought in the county, it will go hard with
him next session. Poor Cynthio never held up his head after having
received a letter of Clarissa's marriage. The lady who gave me this
account being far gone in poetry and romance, told me, if I would
give her an epitaph, she would take care to have it placed on his
tomb; which she herself had devised in the following manner: it is to
be made of black marble, and every corner to be crowned with weeping
cupids. Their quivers are to be hung up upon two tall cypress-trees
which are to grow on each side of the monument, and their arrows to
be laid in a great heap, after the manner of a funeral pile, on which
is to lie the body of the deceased. On the top of each cypress is to
stand the figure of a moaning turtle-dove. On the uppermost part of the
monument, the goddess to whom these birds are sacred, is to sit in a
dejected posture, as weeping for the death of her votary. I need not
tell you this lady's head is a little turned: however, to be rid of
importunities, I promised her an epitaph, and told her, I would take
for my pattern that of Don Alonzo, who was no less famous in his age
than Cynthio is in ours.