From _Thursday, Oct. 13_, to _Saturday, Oct. 15, 1709_.
Hic manus, ob patriam pugnando vulnera passi,...
Quique pii vates, et Phæbo digna locuti,
Inventas aut qui vitam excoluere per artes,
Quique sui memores alios fecere merendo.
VIRG., Æn. vi. 660.
_From my own Apartment, October 14._
There are two kinds of immortality: that which the soul really enjoys
after this life, and that imaginary existence by which men live in
their fame and reputation. The best and greatest actions have proceeded
from the prospect of the one or the other of these; but my design is to
treat only of those who have chiefly proposed to themselves the latter
as the principal reward of their labours. It was for this reason that I
excluded from my tables of fame all the great founders and votaries of
religion; and it is for this reason also that I am more than ordinarily
anxious to do justice to the persons of whom I am now going to speak;
for since fame was the only end of all their enterprises and studies,
a man cannot be too scrupulous in allotting them their due proportion
of it. It was this consideration which made me call the whole body of
the learned to my assistance; to many of whom I must own my obligations
for the catalogues of illustrious persons which they have sent me
in upon this occasion. I yesterday employed the whole afternoon in
comparing them with each other; which made so strong an impression upon
my imagination, that they broke my sleep for the first part of the
following night, and at length threw me into a very agreeable vision,
which I shall beg leave to describe in all its particulars.
I dreamed that I was conveyed into a wide and boundless plain, that
was covered with prodigious multitudes of people, which no man could
number. In the midst of it there stood a mountain, with its head above
the clouds. The sides were extremely steep, and of such a particular
structure, that no creature, which was not made in a human figure,
could possibly ascend it. On a sudden there was heard from the top
of it a sound like that of a trumpet; but so exceeding sweet and
harmonious, that it filled the hearts of those who heard it with
raptures, and gave such high and delightful sensations, as seemed to
animate and raise human nature above itself. This made me very much
amazed to find so very few in that innumerable multitude who had ears
fine enough to hear or relish this music with pleasure: but my wonder
abated, when, upon looking round me, I saw most of them attentive to
three sirens clothed like goddesses, and distinguished by the names of
Sloth, Ignorance, and Pleasure. They were seated on three rocks, amidst
a beautiful variety of groves, meadows, and rivulets, that lay on the
borders of the mountain. While the base and grovelling multitude of
different nations, ranks, and ages were listening to these delusive
deities, those of a more erect aspect and exalted spirit separated
themselves from the rest, and marched in great bodies towards the
mountain; from whence they heard the sound, which still grew sweeter
the more they listened to it.
On a sudden, methought this select band sprang forward with a
resolution to climb the ascent, and follow the call of that heavenly
music. Every one took something with him that he thought might be of
assistance to him in his march. Several had their swords drawn, some
carried rolls of paper in their hands, some had compasses, others
quadrants, others telescopes, and others pencils; some had laurels on
their heads, and others buskins on their legs: in short, there was
scarce any instrument of a mechanic art or liberal science which was
not made use of on this occasion. My good demon, who stood at my right
hand during the course of this whole vision, observing in me a burning
desire to join that glorious company, told me, he highly approved
that generous ardour with which I seemed transported; but at the same
time advised me to cover my face with a mask all the while I was to
labour on the ascent. I took his counsel without inquiring into his
reasons. The whole body now broke into different parties, and began
to climb the precipice by ten thousand different paths. Several got
into little alleys, which did not reach far up the hill, before they
ended and led no farther; and I observed, that most of the artisans,
which considerably diminished our number, fell into these paths. We
left another considerable body of adventurers behind us, who thought
they had discovered byways up the hill, which proved so very intricate
and perplexed, that after having advanced in them a little, they were
quite lost among the several turns and windings; and though they were
as active as any in their motions, they made but little progress in the
ascent. These, as my guide informed me, were men of subtle tempers,
and puzzled politics, who would supply the place of real wisdom with
cunning and artifice. Among those who were far advanced in their way,
there were some that by one false step fell backward, and lost more
ground in a moment than they had gained for many hours, or could be
ever able to recover. We were now advanced very high, and observed,
that all the different paths which ran about the sides of the mountain,
began to meet in two great roads, which insensibly gathered the whole
multitude of travellers into two great bodies. At a little distance
from the entrance of each road, there stood a hideous phantom, that
opposed our farther passage. One of these apparitions had his right
hand filled with darts, which he brandished in the face of all who came
up that way. Crowds ran back at the appearance of it, and cried out,
"Death." The spectre that guarded the other road was Envy: she was not
armed with weapons of destruction like the former; but by dreadful
hissings, noises of reproach, and a horrid distracted laughter; she
appeared more frightful than Death itself, insomuch that abundance
of our company were discouraged from passing any farther, and some
appeared ashamed of having come so far. As for myself, I must confess
my heart shrunk within me at the sight of these ghastly appearances:
but on a sudden, the voice of the trumpet came more full upon us, so
that we felt a new resolution reviving in us; and in proportion as this
resolution grew, the terrors before us seemed to vanish. Most of the
company who had swords in their hands, marched on with great spirit,
and an air of defiance, up the road that was commanded by Death; while
others, who had thought and contemplation in their looks, went forward
in a more composed manner up the road possessed by Envy. The way above
these apparitions grew smooth and uniform, and was so delightful, that
the travellers went on with pleasure, and in a little time arrived at
the top of the mountain. They here began to breathe a delicious kind of
ether, and saw all the fields about them covered with a kind of purple
light, that made them reflect with satisfaction on their past toils,
and diffused a secret joy through the whole assembly, which showed
itself in every look and feature. In the midst of these happy fields,
there stood a palace of a very glorious structure: it had four great
folding-doors, that faced the four several quarters of the world. On
the top of it was enthroned the goddess of the mountain, who smiled
upon her votaries, and sounded the silver trumpet which had called
them up, and cheered them in their passage to her palace. They had now
formed themselves into several divisions, a band of historians taking
their stations at each door, according to the persons whom they were to
introduce.
On a sudden the trumpet, which had hitherto sounded only a march, or a
point of war, now swelled all its notes into triumph and exultation:
the whole fabric shook, and the doors flew open. The first who
stepped forward was a beautiful and blooming hero, and, as I heard
by the murmurs round me, Alexander the Great. He was conducted by a
crowd of historians. The person who immediately walked before him, was
remarkable for an embroidered garment, who not being well acquainted
with the place, was conducting him to an apartment appointed for the
reception of fabulous heroes. The name of this false guide was Quintus
Curtius. But Arrian and Plutarch, who knew better the avenues of this
palace, conducted him into the great hall, and placed him at the upper
end of the first table. My good demon, that I might see the whole
ceremony, conveyed me to a corner of this room, where I might perceive
all that passed without being seen myself. The next who entered was a
charming virgin, leading in a venerable old man that was blind. Under
her left arm she bore a harp, and on her head a garland. Alexander,
who was very well acquainted with Homer, stood up at his entrance,
and placed him on his right hand. The virgin, who it seems was one of
the nine sisters that attended on the goddess of Fame, smiled with an
ineffable grace at their meeting, and retired. Julius Cæsar was now
coming forward; and though most of the historians offered their service
to introduce him, he left them at the door, and would have no conductor
but himself. The next who advanced, was a man of a homely but cheerful
aspect, and attended by persons of greater figure than any that
appeared on this occasion. Plato was on his right hand, and Xenophon on
his left. He bowed to Homer, and sat down by him. It was expected that
Plato would himself have taken a place next to his master Socrates; but
on a sudden there was heard a great clamour of disputants at the door,
who appeared with Aristotle at the head of them. That philosopher, with
some rudeness, but great strength of reason, convinced the whole table,
that a title to the fifth place was his due, and took it accordingly.
He had scarce sat down, when the same beautiful virgin that had
introduced Homer brought in another, who hung back at the entrance, and
would have excused himself, had not his modesty been overcome by the
invitation of all who sat at the table. His guide and behaviour made
me easily conclude it was Virgil. Cicero next appeared, and took his
place. He had inquired at the door for one Lucceius to introduce him;
but not finding him there, he contented himself with the attendance of
many other writers, who all (except Sallust) appeared highly pleased
with the office.
We waited some time in expectation of the next worthy, who came in with
a great retinue of historians, whose names I could not learn, most of
them being natives of Carthage. The person thus conducted, who was
Hannibal, seemed much disturbed, and could not forbear complaining to
the Board of the affronts he had met with among the Roman historians,
"who attempted," says he, "to carry me into the subterraneous
apartment; and perhaps would have done it, had it not been for the
impartiality of this gentleman," pointing to Polybius, "who was the
only person, except my own countrymen, that was willing to conduct me
hither." The Carthaginian took his seat, and Pompey entered with great
dignity in his own person, and preceded by several historians. Lucan
the poet was at the head of them, who observing Homer and Virgil at
the table, was going to sit down himself, had not the latter whispered
him, that whatever pretence he might otherwise have had, he forfeited
his claim to it, by coming in as one of the historians. Lucan was so
exasperated with the repulse, that he muttered something to himself,
and was heard to say, that since he could not have a seat among them
himself, he would bring in one who alone had more merit than their
whole assembly: upon which he went to the door, and brought in Cato of
Utica. That great man approached the company with such an air, that
showed he contemned the honour which he laid a claim to. Observing the
seat opposite to Cæsar was vacant, he took possession of it, and spoke
two or three smart sentences upon the nature of precedency, which,
according to him, consisted not in place, but in intrinsic merit; to
which he added, that the most virtuous man, wherever he was seated, was
always at the upper end of the table. Socrates, who had a great spirit
of raillery with his wisdom, could not forbear smiling at a virtue
which took so little pains to make itself agreeable. Cicero took the
occasion to make a long discourse in praise of Cato, which he uttered
with much vehemence. Cæsar answered him with a great deal of seeming
temper: but as I stood at a great distance from them, I was not able to
hear one word of what they said. But I could not forbear taking notice,
that in all the discourse which passed at the table, a word or nod from
Homer decided the controversy. After a short pause, Augustus appeared,
looking round him with a serene and affable countenance upon all the
writers of his age, who strove among themselves which of them should
show him the greatest marks of gratitude and respect. Virgil rose from
the table to meet him; and though he was an acceptable guest to all,
he appeared more such to the learned than the military worthies. The
next man astonished the whole table with his appearance: he was slow,
solemn, and silent in his behaviour, and wore a raiment curiously
wrought with hieroglyphics. As he came into the middle of the room, he
threw back the skirt of it, and discovered a golden thigh. Socrates, at
the sight of it, declared against keeping company with any who were not
made of flesh and blood; and therefore desired Diogenes the Laertian to
lead him to the apartment allotted for fabulous heroes, and worthies
of dubious existence. At his going out, he told them, that they did
not know whom they dismissed; that he was now Pythagoras, the first of
philosophers, and that formerly he had been a very brave man at the
siege of Troy. "That may be very true," said Socrates; "but you forget
that you have likewise been a very great harlot in your time."[226]
This exclusion made way for Archimedes, who came forward with a scheme
of mathematical figures in his hand; among which, I observed a cone and
a cylinder.[227]
Seeing this table full, I desired my guide for variety to lead me to
the fabulous apartment, the roof of which was painted with gorgons,
chimeras, and centaurs, with many other emblematical figures, which
I wanted both time and skill to unriddle. The first table was almost
full. At the upper end sat Hercules, leaning an arm upon his club. On
his right hand were Achilles and Ulysses, and between them Æneas. On
his left were Hector, Theseus, and Jason. The lower end had Orpheus,
Æsop, Phalaris,[228] and Musæus. The ushers seemed at a loss for a
twelfth man, when, methought, to my great joy and surprise, I heard
some at the lower end of the table mention Isaac Bickerstaff: but
those of the upper end received it with disdain, and said, if they
must have a British worthy, they would have Robin Hood. While I was
transported with the honour that was done me, and burning with envy
against my competitor, I was awakened by the noise of the cannon
which were then fired for the taking of Mons.[229] I should have been
very much troubled at being thrown out of so pleasing a vision on any
other occasion; but thought it an agreeable change to have my thoughts
diverted from the greatest among the dead and fabulous heroes, to the
most famous among the real and the living.