This familiar epistle was delivered to his wife Arria, who opened it.
One must have a soul very well turned for love, pity, and indignation,
to comprehend the tumult this unhappy lady was thrown into upon this
occasion. The passion of love is no more to be understood by some
tempers than a problem in a science by an ignorant man: but he that
knows what affection is, will have, upon considering the condition of
Arria, ten thousand thoughts flow in upon him, which the tongue was not
formed to express. But the charming statue is now before my eyes, and
Arria, in her unutterable sorrow, has more beauty than ever appeared
in youth, in mirth, or in triumph. These are the great and noble
incidents which speak the dignity of our nature, in our sufferings
and distresses. Behold her tender affection for her husband sinks her
features into a countenance which appears more helpless than that of an
infant: but, again, her indignation shows in her visage and her bosom a
resentment as strong as that of the bravest man. Long she stood in this
agony of alternate rage and love; but at last composed herself for her
dissolution, rather than survive her beloved Pætus. When he came into
her presence, he found her with the tyrant's letter in one hand, and a
dagger in the other. Upon his approach to her, she gave him the order;
and at the same time, stabbing herself, "Pætus," said she, "it is not
painful," and expired. Pætus immediately followed her example. The
passion of these memorable lovers was such, that it eluded the rigour
of their fortune, and baffled the force of a blow, which neither felt,
because each received it for the sake of the other. The woman's part in
this story is by much the more heroic, and has occasioned one of the
best epigrams transmitted to us from antiquity.
_When Arria pulled the dagger from her side,
Thus to her consort spoke the illustrious bride:
"The wound I gave myself I do not grieve,
I die by that which Pætus must receive._"[176]
_From my own Apartment, Sept. 23._
The boy says, one in a black hat left the following letter:
"FRIEND,
_19th of the 7th month._
"Being of that part of Christians whom men call Quakers; and
being a seeker of the right way, I was persuaded yesterday to
hear one of your most noted teachers. The matter he treated was
the necessity of well-living, grounded upon a future state. I was
attentive; but the man did not appear in earnest. He read his
discourse (notwithstanding thy rebukes) so heavily, and with so
little air of being convinced himself, that I thought he would
have slept, as I observed many of his hearers did. I came home
unedified, and troubled in mind. I dipped into the Lamentations,
and from thence turning to the 34th chapter of Ezekiel, I found
these words: 'Woe be to the shepherds of Israel, that do feed
themselves! Should not the shepherds feed the flock? Ye eat the
fat, and ye clothe you with the wool: ye kill them that are fed;
but ye feed not the flock. The diseased have ye not strengthened;
neither have ye healed that which was sick; neither have ye bound
up that which was broken; neither have ye brought again that which
was driven away; neither have ye sought that which was lost; but
with force and with cruelty have ye ruled them,' &c. Now I pray
thee, friend, as thou art a man skilled in many things, tell me,
who is meant by the diseased, the sick, the broken, the driven
away, and the lost? and whether the prophecy in this chapter be
accomplished, or yet to come to pass? And thou wilt oblige thy
friend, though unknown."
This matter is too sacred for this paper; but I can't see what injury
it would do any clergyman, to have it in his eye, and believe, all that
are taken from him by his want of industry, are to be demanded of him.
I daresay, Favonius[177] has very few of these losses. Favonius, in the
midst of a thousand impertinent assailants of the divine truths, is an
undisturbed defender of them. He protects all under his care, by the
clearness of his understanding, and the example of his life: he visits
dying men with the air of a man who hoped for his own dissolution, and
enforces in others a contempt of this life, by his own expectation of
the next. His voice and behaviour are the lively images of a composed
and well-governed zeal. None can leave him for the frivolous jargon
uttered by the ordinary teachers among Dissenters, but such who cannot
distinguish vociferation from eloquence, and argument from railing.
He is so great a judge of mankind, and touches our passions with so
superior a command, that he who deserts his congregation must be a
stranger to the dictates of nature, as well as to those of grace.
But I must proceed to other matters, and resolve the questions of other
inquirers; as in the following:
"SIR,
_Heddington, Sept. 19._
"Upon reading that part of the _Tatler_, No. 69, where mention is
made of a certain chapel-clerk, there arose a dispute, and that
produced a wager, whether by the words chapel-clerk was meant a
clergyman or a layman? By a clergyman, I mean one in holy orders.
It was not that anybody in the company pretended to guess who the
person was; but some asserted, that by Mr. Bickerstaff's words
must be meant a clergyman only: others said, that those words
might have been said of any clerk of a parish; and some of them
more properly, of a layman. The wager is half-a-dozen bottles of
wine; in which (if you please to determine it) your health, and
all the family of the staffs, shall certainly be drunk; and you
will singularly oblige another very considerable family. I mean
that of
"Your humble Servants,
THE TRENCHER-CAPS."
It is very customary with us learned men, to find perplexities where
no one else can see any. The honest gentlemen who wrote me this, are
much at a loss to understand what I thought very plain; and in return,
their epistle is so plain that I can't understand it. This, perhaps, is
at first a little like nonsense; but I desire all persons to examine
these writings with an eye to my being far gone in the occult sciences;
and remember, that it is the privilege of the learned and the great to
be understood when they please: for as a man of much business may be
allowed to leave company when he pleases; so one of high learning may
be above your capacity when he thinks fit. But without further speeches
or fooling, I must inform my friends the Trencher-Caps in plain words,
that I meant in the place they speak of, a drunken clerk of a church:
and I will return their civility among my relations, and drink their
healths as they do ours.