[112] Probably Heidegger. See No. 1.
[113] This article is printed in Scott's edition of Swift's Works.
But Steele cites the character of Atterbury as evidence of his own
impartiality (Preface to the _Tatler_); and the passage is quoted in
his "Apology for Himself and his Writings" (1714), with a marginal
note, "written by Mr. Steele himself." The bulk of this paper on
Eloquence and Action may nevertheless be, and probably is, by Swift.
[114] Dr. Francis Atterbury (1662-1732), afterwards Bishop of Rochester
(see Steele's Preface). He had been appointed Dean of Carlisle in 1704.
[115] At the chapel of Bridewell Hospital, where Atterbury was preacher
for many years.
[116] Daniel Burgess (1645-1713), minister to a congregation of
Independents in Carey Street, Lincoln's Inn. His meeting-house was
wrecked by the Sacheverell mob in 1710. Tom Brown speaks of his
"pop-gun way of delivery."
[117] Joseph Trapp, Professor of Poetry at Oxford, who published,
in 1711, "A Character of the Present Set of Whigs." "Your new Lord
Chancellor sets out to-morrow for Ireland. I never saw him. He carries
over one Trapp, a parson, as his chaplain, a sort of pretender to wit,
a second-rate pamphleteer for the cause, whom they pay by sending him
to Ireland. I never saw Trapp neither." (Swift's "Journal," Jan. 7,
1711.)
[118] The Ring was a fashionable ride and promenade in Hyde Park,
destroyed when the Serpentine was formed. It is often referred to in
the _Spectator_. See Nos. 15, 73, &c.
[119] Horace, 1 Ep. i. 36.
[120] Buckingham Court, on the north side of the Admiralty, led into
Spring Garden. One of its best known inhabitants was Duncan Campbell,
the fortune-teller, whose life was written by Defoe.
[121] Spring Garden, between St. James's Park and Charing Cross, dates
from the time of James I. The popular entertainments there provided
were moved, after the Restoration, to the New Spring Garden at Vauxhall.
[122] A name given to the precinct of Whitefriars, a place of refuge
for debtors. The privilege of sanctuary was abolished in 1697.
[123] Usurers who rob minors. See Moliere's "L'Avare," act ii., sec. I.
[124] Perhaps by John Hughes.
No. 67. [STEELE.
From _Saturday, Sept. 10, to Tuesday, Sept. 13, 1709_.
_From my own Apartment, Sept. 12._
No man can conceive, till he comes to try it, how great a pain it is
to be a public-spirited person. I am sure I am unable to express to
the world, how much anxiety I have suffered, to see of how little
benefit my lucubrations have been to my fellow-subjects. Men will go
on in their own way in spite of all my labour. I gave Mr. Didapper
a private reprimand for wearing red-heeled shoes, and at the same
time was so indulgent as to connive at him for fourteen days, because
I would give him the wearing of them out; but after all this, I am
informed, he appeared yesterday with a new pair of the same sort. I
have no better success with Mr. Whatdee'call,[125] as to his buttons:
Stentor[126] still roars; and box and dice rattle as loud as they did
before I writ against them. Partridge[127] walks about at noonday, and
Æsculapius[128] thinks of adding a new lace to his livery. However, I
must still go on in laying these enormities before men's eyes, and let
them answer for going on in their practice.
My province[129] is much larger than at first sight men would imagine,
and I shall lose no part of my jurisdiction, which extends not only to
futurity, but also is retrospect to things past; and the behaviour of
persons who have long ago acted their parts, is as much liable to my
examination as that of my own contemporaries.
In order to put the whole race of mankind in their proper distinctions,
according to the opinion their cohabitants conceived of them, I have,
with very much care, and depth of meditation, thought fit to erect
a Chamber of Fame, and established certain rules, which are to be
observed in admitting members into this illustrious society.
In this Chamber of Fame there are to be three tables, but of different
lengths: the first is to contain exactly twelve persons; the second,
twenty; the third, an hundred. This is reckoned to be the full number
of those who have any competent share of fame. At the first of these
tables are to be placed in their order the twelve most famous persons
in the world, not with regard to the things they are famous for, but
according to the degree of their fame, whether in valour, wit, or
learning. Thus, if a scholar be more famous than a soldier, he is to
sit above him. Neither must any preference be given to virtue, if the
person be not equally famous.
When the first table is filled, the next in renown must be seated
at the second, and so on in like manner to the number of twenty; as
also in the same order at the third, which is to hold an hundred. At
these tables no regard is to be had to seniority: for if Julius Cæsar
shall be judged more famous than Romulus and Scipio, he must have the
precedence. No person who has not been dead an hundred years must
be offered to a place at any of these tables; and because this is
altogether a lay society, and that sacred persons move upon greater
motives than that of fame, no persons celebrated in Holy Writ, or any
ecclesiastical men whatsoever, are to be introduced here.
At the lower end of the room is to be a side-table for persons of
great fame, but dubious existence, such as Hercules, Theseus, Æneas,
Achilles, Hector, and others. But because it is apprehended that there
may be great contention about precedence, the proposer humbly desires
the opinion of the learned towards his assistance in placing every
person according to his rank, that none may have just occasion of
offence.
The merits of the cause shall be judged by plurality of voices.
For the more impartial execution of this important affair, it is
desired that no man will offer his favourite hero, scholar, or poet;
and that the learned will be pleased to send to Mr. Bickerstaff, at Mr.
Morphew's, near Stationers' Hall, their several lists for the first
table only, and in the order they would have them placed; after which
the composer will compare the several lists, and make another for the
public, wherein every name shall be ranked according to the voices it
has had. Under this chamber is to be a dark vault for the same number
of persons of evil fame.
It is humbly submitted to consideration, whether the project would not
be better if the persons of true fame meet in a middle room, those of
dubious existence in an upper room, and those of evil fame in a lower
dark room.
It is to be noted that no historians are to be admitted at any of these
tables, because they are appointed to conduct the several persons to
their seats, and are to be made use of as ushers to the assemblies.
I call upon the learned world to send me their assistance towards this
design, it being a matter of too great moment for any one person to
determine. But I do assure them, their lists shall be examined with
great fidelity, and those that are exposed to the public, made with all
the caution imaginable.
In the meantime, while I wait for these lists, I am employed in keeping
people in a right way to avoid the contrary to fame and applause, to
wit, blame and derision. For this end I work upon that useful project
of the penny-post,[130] by the benefit of which it is proposed that a
charitable society be established: from which society there shall go
every day circular letters to all parts within the bills of mortality,
to tell people of their faults in a friendly and private manner,
whereby you may know what the world thinks of them, before it is
declared to the world that they are thus faulty. This method cannot
fail of universal good consequences: for it is further added, that they
who will not be reformed by it, must be contented to see the several
letters printed, which were not regarded by them, that when they will
not take private reprehension, they may be tried further by a public
one. I am very sorry I am obliged to print the following epistles of
that kind to some persons, and the more because they are of the fair
sex. This went on Friday last to a very fine lady.
"MADAM,
"I am highly sensible that there is nothing of so tender a nature
as the reputation and conduct of ladies; and that when there is
the least stain got into their fame, it is hardly ever to be
washed out. When I have said this, you will believe I am extremely
concerned to hear at every visit I make, that your manner of
wearing your hair is a mere affectation of beauty, as well as
that your neglect of powder has been a common evil to your sex.
It is to you an advantage to show that abundance of fine tresses;
but I beseech you to consider that the force of your beauty, and
the imitation of you, costs Eleonora great sums of money to her
tire-woman for false locks, besides what is allowed to her maid
for keeping the secret that she is grey. I must take leave to add
to this admonition, that you are not to reign above four months
and odd days longer. Therefore I must desire you to raise and
frizz your hair a little, for it is downright insolence to be thus
handsome without art; and you'll forgive me for entreating you to
do now out of compassion, what you must soon do out of necessity.
I am,
"Madam,
Your most obedient and most humble Servant."
This person dresses just as she did before I writ: as does also the
lady to whom I addressed the following billet the same day:
"MADAM,
"Let me beg of you to take off the patches at the lower end of
your left cheek, and I will allow two more under your left eye,
which will contribute more to the symmetry of your face; except
you would please to remove the ten black atoms on your ladyship's
chin, and wear one large patch instead of them. If so, you may
properly enough retain the three patches above-mentioned. I am,
&c."
This, I thought, had all the civility and reason in the world in it;
but whether my letters are intercepted, or whatever it is, the lady
patches as she used to do. It is to be observed by all the charitable
society, as an instruction in their epistles, that they tell people
of nothing but what is in their power to mend. I shall give another
instance of this way of writing: Two sisters in Essex Street are
eternally gaping out of the window, as if they knew not the value of
time, or would call in companions. Upon which I writ the following line:
"DEAR CREATURES,
"On the receipt of this, shut your casements."
But I went by yesterday, and found them still at the window. What
can a man do in this case, but go on, and wrap himself up in his own
integrity, with satisfaction only in this melancholy truth, that
virtue is its own reward, and that if no one is the better for his
admonitions, yet he is himself the more virtuous in that he gave those
advices.
_St. James's Coffee-house, Sept. 12._
Letters of the 18th instant from the Duke of Marlborough's camp at
Havre advise, that the necessary dispositions were made for opening the
trenches before Mons. The direction of the siege is to be committed to
the Prince of Orange, who designed to take his post accordingly with
thirty battalions and thirty squadrons on the day following. On the
17th, Lieutenant-General Cadogan set out for Brussels, to hasten the
ammunition and artillery which is to be employed in this enterprise;
and the confederate army was extended from the Aisne to the Trouille,
in order to cover the siege. The loss of the confederates in the late
battle is not exactly known; but it appears by a list transmitted
to the States-General, that the number of the killed and wounded in
their service amounts to about eight thousand. It is computed that
the English have lost 1500 men, and the rest of the allies about five
thousand, including the wounded. The States-General have taken the most
speedy and effectual measures for reinforcing their troops; and 'tis
expected that in eight or ten days the army will be as numerous as
before the battle. The affairs in Italy afford us nothing remarkable;
only that it is hoped the difference between the Courts of Vienna and
Turin will be speedily accommodated. Letters from Poland present us
with a near prospect of seeing King Augustus re-established on the
throne, all parties being very industrious to reconcile themselves to
his interests.
_Will's Coffee-house, Sept. 12._
Of all the pretty arts in which our modern writers excel, there is
not any which is more to be recommended to the imitation of beginners
than the skill of transition from one subject to another. I know not
whether I make myself well understood; but it is certain, that the
way of stringing a discourse, used in the _Mercury Gallant_,[131] the
_Gentleman's Journal_,[132] and other learned writings, not to mention
how naturally things present themselves to such as harangue in pulpits,
and other occasions which occur to the learned, are methods worthy
commendation. I shall attempt this style myself in a few lines. Suppose
I were discoursing upon the King of Sweden's passing the Boristhenes.
The Boristhenes is a great river, and puts me in mind of the Danube
and the Rhine. The Danube I cannot think of without reflecting on that
unhappy prince who had such fair territories on the banks of it; I mean
the Duke of Bavaria, who by our last letters is retired from Mons. Mons
is as strong a fortification as any which has no citadel; and places
which are not completely fortified, are, methinks, lessons to princes,
that they are not omnipotent, but liable to the strokes of fortune. But
as all princes are subject to such calamities, it is the part of men
of letters to guard them from the observations of all small writers:
for which reason I shall conclude my present remarks by publishing the
following advertisement, to be taken notice of by all who dwell in the
suburbs of learning.
"Whereas the King of Sweden has been so unfortunate to receive
a wound in his heel; we do hereby prohibit all epigrammatists
in either language, and both universities, as well as all other
poets, of what denomination soever, to make any mention of
Achilles having received his death's wound in the same part.
"We do likewise forbid all comparisons in coffee-houses between
Alexander the Great and the said King of Sweden, and from making
any parallels between the death of Patkul and Philotas;[133]
we being very apprehensive of the reflections that several
politicians have ready by them to produce on this occasion, and
being willing, as much as in us lies, to free the town from all
impertinences of this nature."