(_AT THE SIGN OF THE "CASTOR AND POLLUX."_)
DEAR MISTER PUNCH,--Look at 'ere! This is not one of your penny
papers--there was none on 'em in _my_ time--ups and says, says
it:--"The travelling expenses from America of Mr. JACKSON, who is
coming to England to fight Mr. SLAVIN for the Championship of the
World, are reckoned at no less than £150."
Wy, wot a delikit plarnt, wot a blooming hexotic, this "Mister"
JACKSON (oh, the pooty perliteness of it!) must be! Saloon passage
and fust-class fare, I persoom, for the likes of _'im_. Isters and
champagne, no doubt, and liquoor brandy, and sixpenny smokes! A poor
old pug like me wos glad of a steak and inguns, and a 'arf ounce o'
shag, with a penny clay. And as to "travelling hexpenses"--I wonder
wot the Noble Captings of _our_ day would 'ave said to the accounts
laid afore your "National Sporting Club!" £2000 for the Purse, and
£150 for Mister JACKSON's travelling hexpenses!!! Oh, I say! Pugs _is_
a-looking up! And yet I'm told some o' your cockered-up fly-flappers
carnt 'it a 'ole in a pound o' butter, or stand a straight nose-ender
without turning faint! Evidently funking _and_ faking pays a jolly
sight better than 'onesty and 'ard 'itting.
Well, well, _Mister Punch_, I'm hout of it now, thanksbe. And I ain't
sure as I could shape myself 'andy to the Slugger SULLIVAN and JEM
SMITH kind o' caper. The "resources o' science" is so remarkable
different from what they wos in _my_ days, and include so many
new-fangled barnies as we worn't hup to. These 'ere pugilistic
horchids, so to speak, wants deliket 'andling _in_ the Ring, as well
as hout on it, and a fair 'ammering from a 'onest bunch o' fives might
spile the pooty look of 'em for their fust-clarss Saloons, Privet
Boxes, and Swell Clubs. But you can tell Mister JACKSON, Eskvire, an
cetrer, an cetrer, an cetrer (put it all in, please, Sir, as I vant to
be perlite), that in my day I'd a bin only too 'appy to fight 'im to
a finish (which mighn't ha' bin in five minutes, either, hunless he
wanted it so), for--his Travelling Hexpenses!!!
Yours to kommand,
THE CHICKEN.
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