(_BY A PERTURBED TORY_.)
["We trust that the present Administration will not commit
the blunder of attempting to 'gain favour with this or that
section of the constituencies, by indulging in loose talk on
economical questions.'"--_The Standard_.]
To thump the Drum Ecclesiastic
Was very likely mere parade;
But oh, why make yourself seem plastic
To the fanatics of Fair Trade?
Of course a warning's no "incitement";
You only said, in tones of thunder,
The valiant Ulstermen to fight meant,
And on your soul you didn't wonder.
Encouragement in _that_? Go to!
Did shouting SAUNDERSON so take it?
(_Still it did raise a hullabaloo_.
_It's settling now, DON'T re-awake it!_)
No; civil war is far--and fudge!
But why the dickens make suggestions
That England is inclined to budge
An inch, on Economic Questions?
Let HOWARD VINCENT, if he likes,
Talk "Fair Trade" fustian; no one listens.
But _you_?--best keep to slating Strikes.
You bet the eye of HARCOURT glistens,
And GLADSTONE reading with a grin,
Says, "Now I have him on the hip!"
This will _not_ do, if we're to win.
Of course, dear Lord, 'twas but a slip,
But then you do make such a lot;
Explaining them away gets wearying.
You seem as though--of course, 'tis rot!--
Our Free Trade system you were querying.
That cock won't fight; Protection's dead,
Don't trot its ghost out. Just ask GOSCHEN!
That Silver Conference, too! _His_ head
Must have gone woolly, I've a notion.
Fire us with militant suggestions;
Your loyal followers they embolden,
But upon Economic Questions
Remember Silence is _so_ golden!
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REPORTED DISAPPEARANCE OF THE BROAD GAUGE.--It has been "converted,"
and in this sense our old friend, The Broad Gauge, with its easy-going
ways, is defunct for ever. Is the conversion for the better? From
"broad" to "narrow" is not, ordinarily speaking, beneficial to the
individual or to society. And as applied to lines that fall in such
pleasant places as do those of the Great Western, will the change to
"narrow" result in the same breadth of view which the passengers have
hitherto enjoyed? Will the ideas of the management and direction of
the G.W.R. change from "broad" to "narrow"? We see it mentioned that
the "cross sleepers" have been disturbed and re-laid (enough to make
them crosser than ever; the ceremony should have been accompanied
by a band playing selections from "_The Sleeper Awakened_"),
and that "an inner row of chairs" is already fixed. But chairs
are not so comfortable for sleepers as the good old-fashioned
broad-gauge-G.-W.-R. first-class seat, in which, after you had
lunched, you could repose from Swindon to Exeter. However, we all know
the safety of choosing the "narrow" in preference to the "broad" way
in life, and so, no doubt, the spiritually-minded Directors of the
G.W.R. have acted with the best intentions and upon the most unanimous
resolutions. Yet "intentions" or "resolutions" are more compatible
with the "broad" than the "narrow" way.
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