(_A COLLOQUY NEAR THE NETS._)
[At the meeting of the Women's Liberal Federation the
following "operative mandatory resolution" was carried:--"That
in pursuance of the resolution passed in May 1890, the
Council now instructs the Executive Committee that they shall
promote the enfranchisement of women, including the local
and parliamentary votes for all women, who possess any of the
legal qualifications enabling them to vote, among the other
Liberal reforms now before the Country, whilst not making it
a test question at the approaching Election."]
SCENE--_"At the Nets" on the St. Stephen's Cricket Ground.
"The Champion" has been practising in the interval, prior
to playing in the Great Match of the Season, "Unionists v.
Home-Rulers." Various admiring Volunteers of both sexes have
been "scouting" for him._
_First Admiring Bystander._ By Jove, that was a slashing hit! What
powder he puts into it, eh? At _his_ age too!
_Second A.B._ Oh, the Grand Old 'Un's in great form this season. Like
'tother W.G., who's just back from the Antipodes and, at forty-four,
can knock up his sixty-three in sixty-five minutes. There he goes
again, clean over all the "scouts"!
_First A.B._ Oh! he gives 'em plenty to do, "in the country." Keeps
'em on the shift, eh?
_Second A.B._ Bless you, yes. Why a hit like that, _run out_, would be
worth seven to his side-_in_ a match!
_First A.B._ (_knowingly_). Ah, but I notice that _in a match_ these
tremendous swipes don't always come off, don'tcher-know. I've seen
some tremendous sloggers at the nets make a wonderful poor show when
between wickets with a watchful "field" round 'em.
_Second A.B._ (_with candour_). Ah, quite so, of course. Everyone must
have noticed that. With a demon bowler in front of yer sending 'em
down like hundred-tonners, and a blarmed cat of a wicket-keeper on the
grab just at your back, not to mention a pouncer at point, it puzzles
the best of them to get 'em away, though "in a position of greater
freedom and less responsibility," practising at the nets, to wit, with
only the ground-bowler and a few scouts fielding, they may punish 'em
properly.
_First A.B._ Ah, well, one must allow that the Champion plays the game
right away all the time.
_Second A B._ Yea. Age cannot wither him, nor custom stale his
infinite variety. Wonderful, all the same, what perversely bad hits
he will persist in making, at times. Does things now and again you'd
think a school-girl with a bat would be ashamed of.
_First A.B._ Ah, by the way, what do you think of these here
new-fangled Lady-Cricketers?
_Second A.B._ (_significantly_). Ask the Old 'Un what _he_ thinks of
'em.
_First A.B._ Ah! can't abide 'em, can he? And yet he likes the Ladies
to look on and applaud, and even to field for him at times.
_Second A.B._ Yes; the Ladies have been good friends of his, and now
he'd bar them from the legitimate game. I fancy it's put their backs
up a bit, eh?
_First A.B._ You bet! And it _do_ seem ray-ther ongrateful like, don't
it now? Though as fur as that goes _I_ don't believe Cricket's a game
for the petticoats.
_Second A.B._ Nor me neither. But bless yer they gets their foot in
in everything now; tennis, and golf, and rowing and cetrer. And if you
let 'em in at all, for your own pleasure, I don't quite see how you're
going to draw the line arbitrary like just where it suits _you_, as
the Grand Old Slogger seems to fancy.
_First A.B._ No; and, if you ask me, I say they won't stand it, even
from _him._ "No," says they, "fair's fair," they says. "All very well
to treat us like volunteer scouts at a country game, or at the nets,
returning the balls whilst you slog and show off. But when we want
to put on the gloves and pads, and take a hand at the bat in a
businesslike way, you boggle, and hint that it's degrading, unsexing,
and all that stuff."
_Second A.B._ Ah, _that_ won't wash. If it unsexes 'em to bat, it
unsexes 'em to scout. And if the old cricketing gang didn't want
the Ladies between wickets, why, they shouldn't have let em into the
field, _I_ say. Strikes me Lady CARLISLE'll show 'em a thing or two.
That "operative mandatory resolution" of hers means mischief--_after_
the next big match anyhow. "Ladies wait, and wait a bit more, wait
in truth till the day after to-morrow." Yes; but they won't wait for
ever.
_First A.B._ Not they. Why, look yonder! There's one of 'em in full
fig. Lady-Cricketer from cap to shoes--short skirt, knickers, belt,
blouse, gloves, and all the rest of it. D'ye think that sort means
volunteer scouting only? Not a bit of it. Mean playing the game, Sir,
and having regular teams of their own.
_Second A.B._ Look at her! She's a speaking to the Grand Old Champion
himself!
_First A.B._ Giving him a bit of her mind, you bet. What's that she's
saying?
_Second A.B._ Why, that she admires his style immensely, and doesn't
want to spoil his game; but that, _after_ the next great All England
Match, if not sooner, they mean to have a team of their own and go in
for the game all round!
_First A.B._ Ah, what did I say?
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE POLITICAL LADY-CRICKETERS.
_Lady Cricketer._ "A TEAM OF OUR OWN? I SHOULD THINK SO! IF WE'RE GOOD
ENOUGH TO SCOUT FOR YOU, WHY SHOULDN'T WE TAKE A TURN AT THE BAT?"]
* * * * *