XI.

Clementina listened to the music of the dance, till the last note was

played; and she heard the gay shouts and laughter of the dancers as they

issued from the ball room and began to disperse about the halls and

verandas, and presently to call good night to one another. Then she

lighted her lamp, and put the slippers back into the box and wrapped it

up in the nice paper it had come in, and tied it with the notched ribbon.

She thought how she had meant to put the slippers away so, after the

dance, when she had danced her fill in them, and how differently she was

doing it all now. She wrote the clerk's name on the parcel, and then she

took the box, and descended to the office with it. There seemed to be

nobody there, but at the noise of her step Fane came round the case of

letter-boxes, and advanced to meet her at the long desk.

"What's wanted, Miss Claxon?" he asked, with his hopeless respectfulness.

"Anything I can do for you?"

She did not answer, but looked him solemnly in the eyes and laid the

parcel down on the open register, and then went out.

He looked at the address on the parcel, and when he untied it, the box

fell open and the shoes fell out of it, as they had with Clementina. He

ran with them behind the letter-box frame, and held them up before

Gregory, who was seated there on the stool he usually occupied, gloomily

nursing his knee.

"What do you suppose this means, Frank?"

Gregory looked at the shoes frowningly. "They're the slippers she got

to-day. She thinks you sent them to her."

"And she wouldn't have them because she thought I sent them! As sure as

I'm standing here, I never did it," said the clerk, solemnly.

"I know it," said Gregory. "I sent them."

"You!"

"What's so wonderful?" Gregory retorted. "I saw that she wanted them that

day when the shoe peddler was here. I could see it, and you could."

"Yes."

"I went across into the woods, and the man overtook me with his wagon. I

was tempted, and I bought the slippers of him. I wanted to give them to

her then, but I resisted, and I thought I should never give them. To-day,

when I heard that she was going to that dance, I sent them to her

anonymously. That's all there is about it."

The clerk had a moment of bitterness. "If she'd known it was you, she

wouldn't have given them back."

"That's to be seen. I shall tell her, now. I never meant her to know, but

she must, because she's doing you wrong in her ignorance."

Gregory was silent, and Fane was trying to measure the extent of his own

suffering, and to get the whole bearing of the incident in his mind. In

the end his attempt was a failure. He asked Gregory, "And do you think

you've done just right by me?"

"I've done right by nobody," said Gregory, "not even by myself; and I can

see that it was my own pleasure I had in mind. I must tell her the truth,

and then I must leave this place."

"I suppose you want I should keep it quiet," said Fane.

"I don't ask anything of you."

"And she wouldn't," said Fane, after reflection. "But I know she'd be

glad of it, and I sha'n't say anything. Of course, she never can care for

me; and--there's my hand with my word, if you want it." Gregory silently

took the hand stretched toward him and Fane added: "All I'll ask is that

you'll tell her I wouldn't have presumed to send her the shoes. She

wouldn't be mad at you for it."

Gregory took the box, and after some efforts to speak, he went away. It

was an old trouble, an old error, an old folly; he had yielded to impulse

at every step, and at every step he had sinned against another or against

himself. What pain he had now given the simple soul of Fane; what pain he

had given that poor child who had so mistaken and punished the simple

soul! With Fane it was over now, but with Clementina the worst was

perhaps to come yet. He could not hope to see the girl before morning,

and then, what should he say to her? At sight of a lamp burning in Mrs.

Atwell's room, which was on a level with the veranda where he was

walking, it came to him that first of all he ought to go to her, and

confess the whole affair; if her husband were with her, he ought to

confess before him; they were there in the place of the child's father

and mother, and it was due to them. As he pressed rapidly toward the

light he framed in his thought the things he should say, and he did not

notice, as he turned to enter the private hallway leading to Mrs.

Atwell's apartment, a figure at the door. It shrank back from his

contact, and he recognized Clementina. His purpose instantly changed, and

he said, "Is that you, Miss Claxon? I want to speak with you. Will you

come a moment where I can?"

"I--I don't know as I'd betta," she faltered. But she saw the box under

his arm, and she thought that he wished to speak to her about that, and

she wanted to hear what he would say. She had been waiting at the door

there, because she could not bear to go to her room without having

something more happen.

"You needn't be afraid. I shall not keep you. Come with me a moment.

There is something I must tell you at once. You have made a mistake. And

it is my fault. Come!"

Clementina stepped out into the moonlight with him, and they walked

across the grass that sloped between the hotel and the river. There were

still people about, late smokers singly, and in groups along the piazzas,

and young couples, like themselves, strolling in the dry air, under the

pure sky.

Gregory made several failures in trying to begin, before he said: "I have

to tell you that you are mistaken about Mr. Fane. I was there behind the

letter boxes when you came in, and I know that you left these shoes

because you thought he sent them to you. He didn't send them." Clementina

did not say anything, and Gregory was forced to ask: "Do you wish to know

who sent them? I won't tell you unless you do wish it."

"I think I ought to know," she said, and she asked, "Don't you?"

"Yes; for you must blame some one else now, for what you thought Fane

did. I sent them to you."

Clementina's heart gave a leap in her breast, and she could not say

anything. He went on.

"I saw that you wanted them that day, and when the peddler happened to

overtake me in the woods where I was walking, after I left you, I acted

on a sudden impulse, and I bought them for you. I meant to send them to

you anonymously, then. I had committed one error in acting upon

impulse-my rashness is my besetting sin--and I wished to add a species of

deceit to that. But I was kept from it until-to-day. I hoped you would

like to wear them to the dance to-night, and I put them in the

post-office for you myself. Mr. Fane didn't know anything about it. That

is all. I am to blame, and no one else."

He waited for her to speak, but Clementina could only say, "I don't know

what to say."

"You can't say anything that would be punishment enough for me. I have

acted foolishly, cruelly."

Clementina did not think so. She was not indignant, as she was when she

thought Fane had taken this liberty with her, but if Mr. Gregory thought

it was so very bad, it must be something much more serious than she had

imagined. She said, "I don't see why you wanted to do it," hoping that he

would be able to tell her something that would make his behavior seem

less dreadful than he appeared to think it was.

"There is only one thing that could justify it, and that is something

that I cannot justify." It was very mysterious, but youth loves mystery,

and Clementina was very young. "I did it," said Gregory solemnly, and he

felt that now he was acting from no impulse, but from a wisely considered

decision which he might not fail in without culpability, "because I love

you."

"Oh!" said Clementina, and she started away from him.

"I knew that it would make me detestable!" he cried, bitterly. "I had to

tell you, to explain what I did. I couldn't help doing it. But now if you

can forget it, and never think of me again, I can go away, and try to

atone for it somehow. I shall be guided."

Clementina did not know why she ought to feel affronted or injured by

what he had said to her; but if Mr. Gregory thought it was wrong for him

to have spoken so, it must be wrong. She did not wish him to feel badly,

even if he had done wrong, but she had to take his view of what he had

done. "Why, suttainly, Mr. Gregory," she answered. "You mustn't mind it."

"But I do mind it. I have been very, very selfish, very thoughtless. We

are both too young. I can't ask you to wait for me till I could marry--"

The word really frightened Clementina. She said, "I don't believe I betta

promise."

"Oh, I know it!" said Gregory. "I am going away from here. I am going

to-morrow as soon as I can arrange--as soon as I can get away.

Good-night--I"--Clementina in her agitation put her hands up to her face.

"Oh, don't cry--I can't bear to have you cry."

She took down her hands. "I'm not crying! But I wish I had neva seen

those slippas."

They had come to the bank of the river, whose current quivered at that

point in a scaly ripple in the moonlight. At her words Gregory suddenly

pulled the box from under his arm, and flung it into the stream as far as

he could. It caught upon a shallow of the ripple, hung there a moment,

then loosed itself, and swam swiftly down the stream.

"Oh!" Clementina moaned.

"Do you want them back?" he demanded. "I will go in for them!"

"No, no! No. But it seemed such a--waste!"

"Yes, that is a sin, too." They climbed silently to the hotel. At Mrs.

Atwell's door, he spoke. "Try to forget what I said, and forgive me, if

you can."

"Yes--yes, I will, Mr. Gregory. You mustn't think of it any moa."

Ragged Lady — Volume 1 · 第 18 / 22 题