Even the "Derby" had its primeval counterpart.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Brown._ "Confound it! Done again! I lose on every race.

(_To barber._) Here's your shilling."

_Barber._ "Couldn't think of taking it, sir. Just won £500 on the Hascot

Cup!"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: SPORTING EVENT--A RECORD