(_Directions for attaining Perfection._)
Get up a match by saying to some local subaltern that it would be such
fun to have a game, and you know a girl who could give points to Grace.
Agree with the youthful warrior that the fun would be increased by
allowing the men to play with broom-sticks, and left-handed, and the
girls, of course, with bats, and unrestricted.
Arrange your eleven in such a fashion that you come out as captain in
the most picturesque costume.
Be careful to "kill" your colleagues' appearance by an artful
combination of discordant hues.
Carry out the above scheme with the assistance of a joint committee
consisting of two, yourself and the local subaltern.
Arrange, at the last moment, that the men shall only send out six of
their team to field.
Manage to put yourself in first, and play with confidence the initial
ball.
Amidst the applause of the six fielders you will be clean bowled.
Retire gracefully, and devote the rest of the afternoon to tea and mild
flirtation with the five men who have been weeded out.
* * * * *