The fire in the other room had burned down to an ember. Without a
glance my way, Narayan mended the fire; sat down, his legs stretched
toward the little blaze, his shin in his hands; waiting. I could not
stand still. I walked, restless, around the room, speaking in little
jerks and half-sentences.
"You are the Dreamer," I said, "I--I remember a little. I remember
being bound to you. I remem-member when I--freed you. Not knowing what
it might mean, not knowing you could have slain me on the ground of
sacrifice."
"No!" Narayan was as motionless as Gamine's veils, but his voice was
harsh, strident. "No, Adric, never that! We cannot--kill each other,
you and I. I could order you killed, I suppose, but I--I would never do
that unless there was no other way. Adric--is there any other way for
me, for you?"
A bitterness spoke in my voice; neither side trusted Adric, both wanted
his allegiance. I tried to trim my words carefully between the two
personalities that were battling for mastery in me.
"It was Karamy," I said, "who took Adric from you, and sent him,
half-mad, back to the Crimson Tower. Karamy's magic stripped him of
power, and sent him, gone mad, back to stargazing in Narabedla. But it
was _not_ Karamy's--" the voice that was not quite mine shook,
suddenly, with my own weariness and the blank terror I'd been keeping
at bay, "It wasn't Karamy who sent _me_ here, I'm not Adric. You
were perfectly right. I'm no more Adric than--than you are. I'm in
Adric's body, yes. He moves me like a puppet! I have his memories,
his--some of his thoughts--but he--" my voice cracked suddenly on a
note of panic; I knew I sounded like a hysterical kid, but I couldn't
stop my own crackup once it had broken loose. "I'm not Adric, I'm not!
I don't belong here at all! I don't--"
Narayan jumped up from the bench and I heard his hurrying steps, then
his steel hands were hard on my shoulders, swinging me around to face
him. "All right," he said, "Steady. It's all right."
I drew a long breath and let it out again. "Thanks," I said briefly,
shamed. "I'll be all right now."
Narayan shrugged wearily. "It's all right. I guessed you weren't Adric,
of course, from the beginning. But I didn't think Adric, when it came
to the test, would really do that to me. I had his promise. I suppose,
for him, it was an easy way out. A perfect way of escape." He sank down
on the bench again, dropping his head in his hands. After a little,
he looked up, and his voice sounded tired. "This is difficult," he
said. "My men think you are Adric. I'd never be able to convince them
you aren't. Would you mind--pretending? You'll have to; otherwise--"
he paused, and I saw disquiet in his face. He was not a man who would
enjoy threatening, but I could understand his situation. They didn't
know me from Adam; I was just an outsider who messed things up by
resembling Adric. Well, I was stuck. I hadn't liked the Narabedlans
enough to give a hang what Narayan meant to do to them. Narayan, by
comparison, looked pretty decent. And there was no other way to save my
skin. Adric wasn't too popular, it seemed and in Adric's body I hadn't
a chance. I laughed. "I'll try," I told him. "But what's this all
about?"
Narayan looked up again. "That's right. You wouldn't know. You have
some of Adric's memory, I suppose, but not all. You remember who I am?"
"Not entirely--" I told him. I remembered some things. Narayan had been
born, some thirty years ago, into a respectable country family who were
appalled to discover they had given birth to a mutant Dreamer, and
were only too glad to deliver him to the Narabedlans for the enforced
stasis. I told Narayan.
"You remember the old Dreamer who served your House?"
I nodded. He had become old, mortal, weak--and had been eliminated. I
bowed my head, although I had no personal guilt.
Afterward, Narayan and I had been bound. "I slept in the Dreamer's
Keep--" Narayan sounded reflective, almost guilty, "I was wakened,
and--given sacrifice. I learned to use my power and to give it up to
Adric." A brooding horror was in the grey eyes; I realized that Narayan
dwelt in his own personal private hell with the memory of what he had
done under the spell of Narabedla. "Adric was--strong."
Yes, I thought; Adric had called on Narayan's new power without
counting cost. What wonder the memory maddened Narayan? The young
Dreamer seemed to win his silent fight for self-control. "Well,
you--Adric, I mean--freed me. I found my sister again; Cynara. I was
like a child; I had to learn to live, to be alive again. I had been
trained to use my power only through the Sacrifice. I had to learn to
use it without. It wasn't easy."
"Why?" I asked thoughtlessly. Narayan's eyes froze me. "To use that
power," he said in a tense, controlled voice, "Took human life."
* * * * *
Outside the door I could hear the noises of the camp; the light of
their watch-fires crept in through the cracks. It was too dark to see
Narayan's face now, but I heard him moving restlessly about the room.
"I have harnessed the power somewhat," he said, "I can use it, myself,
a little. Not much. Adric helped me; so did my sister. She had been
taken for Sacrifice, but you--Adric--redeemed her. Then--we were able
to throw an illusion around Cynara. She is not of Narabedla; but we
made it seem as if she had always been there, in Rainbow City. We could
do that because Evarin is weak, and because Karamy did not care. It was
Rhys who made the Illusion."
"Rhys!" The old Dreamer, the only one born in Narabedla--
"Yes; Gamine is careless with Rhys and lets him wake too long. Rhys and
I have been in contact for a long time."
I was hearing scraps of conversation from a vast abyss of time and
space, when I had been drawn in electric coma through Karamy's Time
Ellipse. _They will know, Narayan will know._ That had been old
Rhys. And Adric; _What have I to do with Narayan?_ Adric had
been--still was--playing a fancy double game with Narayan; I started
to open my lips to tell the young Dreamer about it, but he was still
talking. "Rhys will not act, not directly, against Rainbow City. But he
did that much for us, and Gamine and Cynara are friends. We forgot--we
all forgot--that Adric's allegiance belonged to Narabedla first. Until
he vanished." I heard the brooding heaviness in Narayan's voice. These
men had been friends. Narayan went on, "I sent Brennan today, to find
out. He didn't come back."
I lowered my head and miserably told him what had happened to Brennan.
Narayan's face in a flicker of firelight looked drawn and haggard. "He
was a--brave man," Narayan said at last. "But I don't blame you. After
the interchange, I think, there was a time when you went on living
Adric's life. Thinking his thoughts. But now, I think, he will grow
weaker in you. I _hope_. You--who are you, in your own world?"
I shrugged. The words would have meant nothing to Narayan. "My name's
Mike Kenscott."
"Mi-ek," Narayan repeated, turning the strange word on his tongue.
"The men will call you Adric. I'd better, too. Later--" he shrugged. I
didn't say anything; I was still convinced that I hadn't seen the last
of Adric. But I didn't want to tell Narayan this. I liked the man.
Without warning, Narayan switched on lights. "It's near dawn, and you
must be worn out. We've taught them to stay clear of the forests at
night, so we're safe enough here. They can't do much till they've been
to the Dreamers Keep, in any case." With a sudden boyish friendliness
he put out his hand and I took it. "I'm glad you're not Adric. He might
be hard to handle now--if he's changed so much."
As if the lights had been a signal, fat Raif came without knocking into
the room. Narayan crossed his hostile stare at me. "He's all right,
Raif," the Dreamer said. The fat face broke into a sudden, elephantine
smile. "I'd better apologize, Adric. I had orders."
"Find him a place to sleep," Narayan suggested, and I followed Raif
up a flight of low stairs into an inner room. There was a bed there,
clean, but tumbled as if it had had another occupant not long ago. Raif
said, "Kerrel's gone with Cynara. You can sleep here."
I kicked off my boots and crawled between the blankets, suddenly too
weary even to answer. I had been two days without sleep, and most of
that time I had been under exhausting physical and mental strain. I saw
Raif cautiously finger his weapons and sensed that whatever Narayan
said, he was reserving judgment. He didn't take chances, this outside
lieutenant of Narayan's. Sleepily I said, "You can put that up, my
friend. I'm not going to move till I've had a good, long--"