I had for several years been top of my class, when a boy was put in who
was quite three years older than I, and with whom it was impossible for
me to compete, so much greater were the newcomer's knowledge and
maturity. It very soon became a settled thing for the new boy always to
be top, and I invariably No. 2. However, this was not in the least
vexatious to me; I was too much wrapped up in Sebastian for that. The
admiration which as a child I had felt for boys who distinguished
themselves by muscular strength was manifested now for superiority in
knowledge or intelligence. Sebastian was tall, thin, somewhat
disjointed in build, with large blue eyes, expressive of kindness, and
intelligence; he was thoroughly well up in all the school subjects, and
with the ripeness of the older boy, could infer the right thing even
when he did not positively know it. The reason why he was placed at
lessons so late was doubtless to be found in the narrow circumstances
of his parents. They considered that they had not the means to allow
him to follow the path towards which his talents pointed. But the Head,
as could be seen on pay days, was now permitting him to come to school
free. He went about among his jacketed schoolfellows in a long frock
coat, the skirts of which flapped round his legs.
No. 2 could not help admiring No. 1 for the confidence with which he
disported himself among the Greek aorists, in the labyrinths of which I
myself often went astray, and for the knack he had of solving
mathematical problems. He was, moreover, very widely read in belles
lettres, and had almost a grown-up man's taste with regard to books at
a time when I still continued to admire P.P.'s [Footnote: P.P. was a
writer whose real name was Rumohr. He wrote a number of historical
novels of a patriotic type, but which are only read by children up to
14.] novels, and was incapable of detecting the inartistic quality and
unreality of his popular descriptions of the exploits of sailor heroes.
As soon as my eyes were opened to the other's advanced acquirements, I
opened my heart to him, gave him my entire confidence, and found in my
friend a well of knowledge and superior development from which I felt a
daily need to draw.
When at the end of the year the large number of newcomers made it
desirable for the class to be divided, it was a positive blow to me
that in the division, which was effected by separating the scholars
according to their numbers, odd or even, Sebastian and I found
ourselves in different classes. I even took the unusual step of
appealing to the Head to be put in the same class as Sebastian, but was
refused.
However, childhood so easily adapts itself to a fresh situation that
during the ensuing year, in which I myself advanced right gaily, not
only did I feel no lack, but I forgot my elder comrade. And at the
commencement of the next school year, when the two parallel classes,
through several boys leaving, were once more united, and I again found
myself No. 2 by the side of my one-time friend, the relations between
us were altogether altered, so thoroughly so, in fact, that our rôles
were reversed. If formerly the younger had hung upon the elder's words,
now it was the other way about. If formerly Sebastian had shown the
interest in me that the half-grown man feels for a child, now I was too
absorbed by my own interests to wish for anything but a listener in him
when I unfolded the supposed wealth of my ideas and my soaring plans
for the future, which betrayed a boundless ambition. I needed a friend
at this stage only in the same sense as the hero in French tragedies
requires a confidant, and if I attached myself as before, wholly and
completely to him, it was for this reason. It is true that the other
was still a good deal in front of me in actual knowledge, so that there
was much I had to consult him about; otherwise our friendship would
hardly have lasted; but the importance of this superiority was slight,
inasmuch as Sebastian henceforward voluntarily subordinated himself to
me altogether; indeed, by his ready recognition of my powers,
contributed more than anyone else to make me conscious of these powers
and to foster a self-esteem which gradually assumed extraordinary forms.