_Sir Philip Brilliant_ is a gentleman of exquisite breeding--a man of
fashion, with a taste for finery, and somewhat of a fop. He reveals his
pretty figure to us, arrayed in all the glories of white and pink satins,
embellished with flaunting ribbons, and adorned with costly jewels. His
servant is performing the part of mirror, by explaining the beauties of
the dress, and trying to discover its faults: his researches for flaws are
unavailing, till his master promises him a crown if he can find one--nine
valets out of ten would make a misfit for half the money; and _Robert_
instantly pays a tribute to the title of the play by discovering a
_wrinkle_--equally an emblem of an "Old Maid" and an ill-fitting vest.
This incident shows us that _Sir Philip_ is an amateur in dress; but his
predilection is further developed by his exit, which is made to scold his
goldsmith for the careless setting of a lost diamond. The next scene takes
us to the other side of Temple-bar; in fact, upon Ludgate-hill. We are
inside the shop of the goldsmith, _Master Blount_, most likely the founder
of the firm now conducted by Messrs. Rundell and Bridge. He has two sons,
who, being brought up to the same trade, and always living together, are,
of course, eternally quarrelling. Both have a violent desire to cut the
shop; the younger for glory, ambition, and all that (after the fashion of
all city juveniles, who hate hard work), the elder for ease and elegance.
The papa and mamma have a slight altercation on the subject of their sons,
which happily, (for family quarrels seldom amuse third parties) is put an
end to by a second "shine," brought about by the entrance of _Sir Philip
Brilliant_, to make the threatened complaint about bad workmanship. The
younger and fiery _Thomas Blount_ resents some of _Sir P.B._'s expressions
to his father; this is followed by the usual _badinage_ about swords and
their use. We make up our minds that the next scene is to consist of a
duel, and are not disappointed.
Sure enough a little rapier practice ends the act; the shopman is wounded,
and his adversary takes the usual oath of being his sworn friend for ever.
The second act introduces a new class of incidents. A great revolution has
taken place in the private concerns of the family Blount. _Thomas_, the
younger, has become a colonel in the army; John, having got possession of
the shop, has sold the stock-in-trade, fixtures, good-will, &c.;
doubtless, to the late _Mr. Rundell's_ great-grandfather; and has set up
for a private gentleman. For his introduction into genteel society he is
indebted to _Robert_, whom he has mistaken for a Baronet, and who presents
him to several of his fellow-knights of the shoulder-knot, all dubbed, for
the occasion, lords and ladies, exactly as it happens in the farce of
"High Life Below Stairs."
But where are the "Old Maids" all this time? Where, indeed! _Lady Blanche_
and _Lady Anne_ are young and beautiful--exquisitely lovely; for they are
played by Madame Vestris and Mrs. Nisbett. It is clear, then, that
directly they appear, the spectator assures himself that they are _not_
the "Old Maids." To be sure they seem to have taken a sort of vow of
celibacy; but their fascinating looks--their beauty--their enchanting
manners, offer a challenge to the whole bachelor world, that would make
the keeping of such a vow a crime next to sacrilege. One does not tremble
long on that account. _Lady Blanche_, has, we are informed, taken to
disguising herself; and some time since, while rambling about in the
character of a yeoman's daughter, she entered _Blount's_ shop, and fell in
love with _Thomas_: at this exact part of the narrative _Colonel Blount_
is announced, attended by his sworn friend, _Sir Philip Brilliant_. A sort
of partial recognition takes place; which leaves the audience in a
dreadful state of suspense till the commencement of another act.
_Sir Philip_, who has formerly loved _Lady Blanche_ without success, now
tries his fortune with _Lady Anne_; and at this point, dramatic invention
ends; for, excepting the mock-marriage of _John Blount_ with a
lady's-maid, the rest of the play is occupied by the vicissitudes the two
pair of lovers go through--all of their own contrivance, on purpose to
make themselves as wretched as possible--till the grand clearing up, which
always takes place in every last scene, from the "Adelphi" of Terence (or
Yates), down to the "Old Maids" of Mr. Sheridan Knowles.
* * * * *