None but Ministers know what Ministers go through for the pure love of
their country; no person who has not reposed in the luxuriously-cushioned
chairs of the Treasury or Downing-street can conceive the amount of
business Sir Robert and his colleagues have transacted during the three
months they have been in office. The people, we know, have been crying for
bread--the manufacturers are starving--but their rebellious appetites will
be appeased--their refractory stomachs will feel comforted, when they are
told all that their friends the Tories have been doing for them. How will
they blush for their ingratitude when they find that the following great
measures have been triumphantly carried through Parliament by Sir Robert's
exertions--The VENTILATING OF THE HOUSE BILL! Think of that, ye
thin-gutted weavers of Manchester. Drop down on your marrow-bones, and
bless the man who gives your representatives fresh air--though he denies
you--a mouthful of coarse food. Then look at his next immense boon--The
ROYAL KITCHEN-GARDEN BILL! What matters it that the gaunt fiend Famine
sits at your board, when you can console yourselves with the reflection
that cucumbers and asparagus will be abundant in the Royal Kitchen Garden!
But Sir Robert does not stop here. What follows next?--The FOREIGN
BISHOPS' BILL! See how our spiritual wants are cared for by your
tender-hearted Tories--they shudder at the thoughts of Englishmen being
fed on foreign corn; but they give them instead, a full supply of Foreign
Bishops. After that comes--The REPORT OF THE LUNATICS' BILL. This
important document has been founded on the proceedings in the Upper House,
and is likely to be of vast service to the nation at large. Next follows
the EXPIRING LAWS' BILL! We imagine that a slight error has been made in
the title of this bill, and that it should be read "Expiring _Justice_
Bill!" As to expiring laws--'tis all a fallacy. One of the glorious
privileges of the English Constitution is, that the laws never
expire--neither do the lawyers--they are everlasting. Justice may die in
this happy land, but law--never!
Again, there is a little grant of some thousands for Prince Albert's
stables and dog-kennels! Very proper too; these animals must be lodged,
ay, and fed; and the people--the creatures whom God made after his own
image--the poor wretches who want nothing but a little bread, will lie
down hungry and thankful, when they reflect that the royal dogs and horses
are in the best possible condition. But we have not yet mentioned the
great crowning work of Ministers--the Queen's speech on the Prorogation of
the Parliament last week. What an admirable illustration it was of that
profound logical deduction--that, out of nothing comes nothing! Yet it was
deduction--that, out of nothing comes nothing! Yet it was not altogether
without design, and though some sneering critics have called the old
song--the burthen of it was clearly--
[Illustration: DOWN WITH YOUR DUST.]
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