CHARLOTTE'S Apartment.
CHARLOTTE leading in MARIA.
CHARLOTTE
THIS is so kind, my sweet friend, to come to see me at this moment. I
declare, if I were going to be married in a few days, as you are, I
should scarce have found time to visit my friends.
MARIA
Do you think, then, that there is an impropriety in it?--How should you
dispose of your time?
CHARLOTTE
Why, I should be shut up in my chamber; and my head would so run
upon--upon--upon the solemn ceremony that I was to pass through!--I
declare, it would take me above two hours merely to learn that little
monosyllable--Yes. Ah! my dear, your sentimental imagination does not
conceive what that little tiny word implies.
MARIA Spare me your raillery, my sweet friend; I should love your
agreeable vivacity at any other time.
CHARLOTTE
Why, this is the very time to amuse you. You grieve me to see you look
so unhappy.
MARIA
Have I not reason to look so?
CHARLOTTE
What new grief distresses you?
MARIA
Oh! how sweet it is, when the heart is borne down with misfortune, to
recline and repose on the bosom of friendship! Heaven knows that,
although it is improper for a young lady to praise a gentleman, yet I
have ever concealed Mr. Dimple's foibles, and spoke of him as of one
whose reputation I expected would be linked with mine; but his late
conduct towards me has turned my coolness into contempt. He behaves as
if he meant to insult and disgust me; whilst my father, in the last
conversation on the subject of our marriage, spoke of it as a matter
which lay near his heart, and in which he would not bear contradiction.
CHARLOTTE
This works well; oh! the generous Dimple. I'll endeavour to excite her
to discharge him. [Aside.] But, my dear friend, your happiness depends
on yourself. Why don't you discard him? Though the match has been of
long standing, I would not be forced to make myself miserable: no
parent in the world should oblige me to marry the man I did not like.
MARIA
Oh! my dear, you never lived with your parents, and do not know what
influence a father's frowns have upon a daughter's heart. Besides,
what have I to alledge against Mr. Dimple, to justify myself to the
world? He carries himself so smoothly, that every one would impute the
blame to me, and call me capricious.
CHARLOTTE
And call her capricious! Did ever such an objection start into the
heart of woman? For my part, I wish I had fifty lovers to discard, for
no other reason than because I did not fancy them. My dear Maria, you
will forgive me; I know your candour and confidence in me; but I have
at times, I confess, been led to suppose that some other gentleman was
the cause of your aversion to Mr. Dimple.
MARIA
No, my sweet friend, you may be assured, that though I have seen many
gentlemen I could prefer to Mr. Dimple, yet I never saw one that I
thought I could give my hand to, until this morning.
CHARLOTTE
This morning!
MARIA
Yes; one of the strangest accidents in the world. The odious Dimple,
after disgusting me with his conversation, had just left me, when a
gentleman, who, it seems, boards in the same house with him, saw him
coming out of our door, and, the houses looking very much alike, he
came into our house instead of his lodgings; nor did he discover his
mistake until he got into the parlour, where I was; he then bowed so
gracefully, made such a genteel apology, and looked so manly and
noble!--
CHARLOTTE
I see some folks, though it is so great an impropriety, can praise a
gentleman, when he happens to be the man of their fancy. [Aside.]
MARIA
I don't know how it was,--I hope he did not think me indelicate,--but I
asked him, I believe, to sit down, or pointed to a chair. He sat down,
and, instead of having recourse to observations upon the weather, or
hackneyed criticisms upon the theatre, he entered readily into a
conversation worthy a man of sense to speak, and a lady of delicacy and
sentiment to hear. He was not strictly handsome, but he spoke the
language of sentiment, and his eyes looked tenderness and honour.
CHARLOTTE
Oh! [eagerly] you sentimental, grave girls, when your hearts are once
touched, beat us rattles a bar's length. And so you are quite in love
with this he-angel?
MARIA
In love with him! How can you rattle so, Charlotte? am I not going to
be miserable? [Sighs.] In love with a gentleman I never saw but one
hour in my life, and don't know his name! No; I only wished that the
man I shall marry may look, and talk, and act, just like him. Besides,
my dear, he is a married man.
CHARLOTTE
Why, that was good-natured--he told you so, I suppose, in mere charity,
to prevent you falling in love with him?
MARIA
He didn't tell me so; [peevishly] he looked as if he was married.
CHARLOTTE
How, my dear; did he look sheepish?
MARIA
I am sure he has a susceptible heart, and the ladies of his
acquaintance must be very stupid not to--
CHARLOTTE
Hush! I hear some person coming.
Enter LETITIA.
LETITIA
My dear Maria, I am happy to see you. Lud! what a pity it is that you
have purchased your wedding clothes.
MARIA
I think so. [Sighing.]
LETITIA
Why, my dear, there is the sweetest parcel of silks come over you ever
saw! Nancy Brilliant has a full suit come; she sent over her measure,
and it fits her to a hair; it is immensely dressy, and made for a
court-hoop. I thought they said the large hoops were going out of
fashion.
CHARLOTTE
Did you see the hat? Is it a fact that the deep laces round the border
is still the fashion?
DIMPLE within. Upon my honour, Sir.
MARIA
Ha! Dimple's voice! My dear, I must take leave of you. There are
some things necessary to be done at our house. Can't I go through the
other room?
Enter DIMPLE and MANLY.
DIMPLE
Ladies, your most obedient.
CHARLOTTE
Miss Van Rough, shall I present my brother Henry to you? Colonel
Manly, Maria,--Miss Van Rough, brother.
MARIA
Her brother! [turns and sees Manly.] Oh! my heart! the very gentleman
I have been praising.
MANLY
The same amiable girl I saw this morning!
CHARLOTTE
Why, you look as if you were acquainted.
MANLY
I unintentionally intruded into this lady's presence this morning, for
which she was so good as to promise me her forgiveness.
CHARLOTTE
Oh! ho! is that the case! Have these two penserosos been together?
Were they Henry's eyes that looked so tenderly? [Aside.] And so you
promised to pardon him? and could you be so good-natured? have you
really forgiven him? I beg you would do it for my sake [whispering
loud to Maria]. But, my dear, as you are in such haste, it would be
cruel to detain you; I can show you the way through the other room.
MARIA
Spare me, my sprightly friend.
MANLY The lady does not, I hope, intend to deprive us of the pleasure
of her company so soon.
CHARLOTTE
She has only a mantua-maker who waits for her at home. But, as I am to
give my opinion of the dress, I think she cannot go yet. We were
talking of the fashions when you came in, but I suppose the subject
must be changed to something of more importance now. Mr. Dimple, will
you favour us with an account of the public entertainments?
DIMPLE
Why, really, Miss Manly, you could not have asked me a question more
mal-apropos. For my part, I must confess that, to a man who has
travelled, there is nothing that is worthy the name of amusement to be
found in this city.
CHARLOTTE
Except visiting the ladies.
DIMPLE
Pardon me, Madam; that is the avocation of a man of taste. But for
amusement, I positively know of nothing that can be called so, unless
you dignify with that title the hopping once a fortnight to the sound
of two or three squeaking fiddles, and the clattering of the old tavern
windows, or sitting to see the miserable mummers, whom you call actors,
murder comedy and make a farce of tragedy.
MANLY
Do you never attend the theatre, Sir?
DIMPLE
I was tortured there once.
CHARLOTTE Pray, Mr. Dimple, was it a tragedy or a comedy?
DIMPLE
Faith, Madam, I cannot tell; for I sat with my back to the stage all
the time, admiring a much better actress than any there--a lady who
played the fine woman to perfection; though, by the laugh of the horrid
creatures round me, I suppose it was comedy. Yet, on second thoughts,
it might be some hero in a tragedy, dying so comically as to set the
whole house in an uproar. Colonel, I presume you have been in Europe?
MANLY
Indeed, Sir, I was never ten leagues from the continent.
DIMPLE
Believe me, Colonel, you have an immense pleasure to come; and when you
shall have seen the brilliant exhibitions of Europe, you will learn to
despise the amusements of this country as much as I do.
MANLY
Therefore I do not wish to see them; for I can never esteem that
knowledge valuable which tends to give me a distaste for my native
country.
DIMPLE
Well, Colonel, though you have not travelled, you have read.
MANLY
I have, a little; and by it have discovered that there is a laudable
partiality which ignorant, untravelled men entertain for everything
that belongs to their native country. I call it laudable; it injures
no one; adds to their own happiness; and, when extended, becomes the
noble principle of patriotism. Travelled gentlemen rise superior, in
their own opinion, to this; but if the contempt which they contract for
their country is the most valuable acquisition of their travels, I am
far from thinking that their time and money are well spent.
MARIA
What noble sentiments!
CHARLOTTE
Let my brother set out where he will in the fields of conversation, he
is sure to end his tour in the temple of gravity.
MANLY
Forgive me, my sister. I love my country; it has its foibles
undoubtedly;--some foreigners will with pleasure remark them--but such
remarks fall very ungracefully from the lips of her citizens.
DIMPLE
You are perfectly in the right, Colonel--America has her faults.
MANLY
Yes, Sir; and we, her children, should blush for them in private, and
endeavour, as individuals, to reform them. But, if our country has its
errors in common with other countries, I am proud to say America--I
mean the United States--has displayed virtues and achievements which
modern nations may admire, but of which they have seldom set us the
example.
CHARLOTTE
But, brother, we must introduce you to some of our gay folks, and let
you see the city, such as it is. Mr. Dimple is known to almost every
family in town; he will doubtless take a pleasure in introducing you.
DIMPLE
I shall esteem every service I can render your brother an honour.
MANLY
I fear the business I am upon will take up all my time, and my family
will be anxious to hear from me.
MARIA
His family! but what is it to me that he is married! [Aside.] Pray,
how did you leave your lady, Sir?
CHARLOTTE
My brother is not married [observing her anxiety]; it is only an odd
way he has of expressing himself. Pray, brother, is this business,
which you make your continual excuse, a secret?
MANLY
No, sister; I came hither to solicit the honourable Congress, that a
number of my brave old soldiers may be put upon the pension-list, who
were, at first, not judged to be so materially wounded as to need the
public assistance. My sister says true [to Maria]: I call my late
soldiers my family. Those who were not in the field in the late
glorious contest, and those who were, have their respective merits;
but, I confess, my old brother-soldiers are dearer to me than the
former description. Friendships made in adversity are lasting; our
countrymen may forget us, but that is no reason why we should forget
one another. But I must leave you; my time of engagement approaches.
CHARLOTTE
Well, but, brother, if you will go, will you please to conduct my fair
friend home? You live in the same street--I was to have gone with her
myself-- [Aside]. A lucky thought.
MARIA I am obliged to your sister, Sir, and was just intending to go.
[Going.]
MANLY
I shall attend her with pleasure. [Exit with Maria, followed by Dimple
and Charlotte.]
MARIA
Now, pray, don't betray me to your brother.
CHARLOTTE
[Just as she sees him make a motion to take his leave.] One word with
you, brother, if you please. [Follows them out.
Manent, DIMPLE and LETITIA.
DIMPLE
You received the billet I sent you, I presume?
LETITIA
Hush!--Yes.
DIMPLE
When shall I pay my respects to you?
LETITIA
At eight I shall be unengaged.
Reenter CHARLOTTE.
DIMPLE
Did my lovely angel receive my billet? [to Charlotte.]
CHARLOTTE
Yes.
DIMPLE
At eight I shall be at home unengaged.
DIMPLE
Unfortunate! I have a horrid engagement of business at that hour.
Can't you finish your visit earlier and let six be the happy hour?
CHARLOTTE
You know your influence over me. [Exeunt severally.