_DISCOMFITED_.
Within the Post Office as well as in other places, there stood a group
watching Roderick's departure, and among them, as might be supposed,
was Joseph Smiley. It would have been a very unexpected event indeed
that could have transpired in the village without his being there to
see.
'I wuss we may na hae dune the laad some wrang,' sighed Angus Kilgour.
'He gangs like's he thocht nae shame, an' gin there cam few to bid him
"Gude bi wi' ye," thae few war the first e'y land. See to the young
Captain, hoo he's crackin' til Eppie an' the bairn 'at a' body said
was merry-begotten. That looks like 's he didna think sae.'
'Hoot awa!' said Ebenezer, who had become a man of consequence through
the prominent part he had taken in the minister hunt, and would
tolerate no gainsaying. 'Hae na we scripter for't, Angus, 'at evil men
an' seducers wax warse an' warse? An' think ye, 'at gin a chield was
sae far left til himsel as yon puir laad maun hae been, he wad turn
round that easy an' own til his fau't? Na, na! The De'il's a hard
master 'at's aye wantin' mair service. An' as for puir Mester Brown,
I'm sure I wuss him nae ill, but juist 'at he may be brocht til own
til his transgressions. He's gangin' the gate o' thae wanderin' staars
for whum is reserved the blackness o' darkness! I think naething o'
yer young Captain comin' to see him awa. He's been danderin' round him
ilka day sin' he fell out wi' his flock, or sin' they _fand_ him out I
suld say. He's juist a laad o' Belial 'at cares naething for the sauls
o' hiz puir folk, (dizna he get a' the nails an' the pleughs an' the
iron wark for the property doon by at Inverlyon?) an' he wants to pu'
down the wa's o' Zion. He's juist like Tobiah the Ammonite 'at fashed
Nehemiah langsyne, but it's no a tod like him rinnin' on the wa's o'
our Jerusalem, 'at's gaun to kick them ower. An' as for the Laird
comin' wi' his dochter, he's been sair left til himsel', but we a' ken
he's pridefu' an' winna be direcket by puirer folk, an' that's what's
made him sae camstairy. But I'm juist winnerin' 'at Mistress Sangster
(an' sic a graand christian as she is!) lets him gang sic daftlike
gates!'
Joseph listened to the harangue with respectful attention, looking
approval but saying nothing. Instinctively he had the wisdom in
conduct by which men have become Roman Popes or American Presidents.
If he had few friends, he gave no offence, and made no enemies. The
friends are but broken reeds to lean upon in getting one in, but the
_unfriends_ are omnipotent in keeping him out. It was popedom in a
small way that Joseph contemplated, catechist being as great a rise in
life for the Glen Effick beadle as Pope for the Archbishops and
Princes of the Church. The emoluments, as stated by Mr. Geddie, were,
of course, altogether inadequate, but then Free Trade principles were
just about that time being established as the economic faith of the
nation, and he understood perfectly that even Mr. Geddie, a
merchantman in search of goodly pearls, felt disposed to dabble in the
law of supply and demand, and if he could pick up a catechist at half
price, would not 'feel justified' in paying him more. Economic piety
is apt to be economical as well, and alas, alas, for the Church and
the world! it is the spurious article for sale that is best able to
haggle with the greedy religiousness that would buy. Saintly holiness
is sent at half price to labour in the slums, while sensational
pretence gets the velvet-mounted pulpit, the snug parsonage, and the
comfortable living.
Joseph was not much of a letter writer. He never had had opportunity
to practise the craft, or doubtless his pen would have grown as glib
as his tongue. If he wrote to Mr. Geddie himself, his letter might
stamp him illiterate, and consequently a half price article; and even
if not, being but an obscure person, he could not hope to influence
conveners, committees, contributors, and the rest of the sacred
machinery in Mr. Geddie's church, whence the money was to come. He
thought therefore to procure intercession. He would petition Mrs.
Sangster to write on his behalf, and by and by he would ask Ebenezer
to say a word in his favour, after he knew the lady's letter had been
sent.
With this view he set out for Auchlippie, whither he had gone less
frequently of late, fearing to compromise himself with Jean Macaulay.
As already said, Jean's expectations made her unquestionably 'a catch'
for the beadle, but Joseph found she might prove a millstone about the
neck of a catechist. For Joseph was far-seeing. Such imaginative
faculty as had been vouchsafed him was circumscribed within the hopes
or possible achievements of Joseph Smiley, but within these bounds at
times they soared! Once a catechist he might find favour in zealous
and wealthy eyes, and he might be enabled to attend the Divinity Hall,
whence he would issue a full-fledged minister. Favouring circumstances
might work out so much for a bachelor, but who would undertake a man
already weighted with a wife and family? Vulgar too! and unfit to
associate with the upper classes as minister's wife! If, however, he
should fail to secure any such enthusiastic person, and he knew they
were rare, Jean would not be so far amiss as spouse to a catechist for
life. The _placens uxor_ he could appreciate when more substantial
considerations did not stand in the way, and her tocher would be 'a
help,' and enable him, if still subordinate to the Established clergy
and those of the Free Church, to hold his own with 'Seceder bodies'
(there were no U.P.'s in those days), 'Baptists, Methodists, and sic
like.' At that time there was no word of voluntary principles in the
Free Church, and it required a good many years 'in opposition,' as
politicians would say, before it even was suggested to drop the
twenty-third chapter of the Confession of Faith, and along with it the
old feeling of superiority to the dissenting communions.
When Joseph reached Auchlippie, he was considerably taken aback by
Jean's extreme coolness. He had been considering as he fared along,
the exact degree of friendliness it would be prudent to show to Jean.
He must be kind but not quite fond, friendly but not intimate, with
just a suggestion of the superiority which he hoped was hovering over
him and he trusted might alight. Distinctly then, he felt taken aback
by Jean's reception.
'Ye want to see the mistress? Gang intil the laundry than, an' set ye
doon, an' whan I'm through here I'll gang ben an' speer gin ye can see
her.'
'But I cud help ye to shell the peas, Jean.'
'Wha's seekin' yer help? Tak yer guttery shune out ower the clean
kitchen, an' gang intil the laundry or I'se prin the dish-clout til
yer tail! Think ye I haena gowks eneugh e'y stable-yard to shell my
peas gin I wanted their help? Awa' wi' ye!'
Nothing like a little cool repulsion to draw on the young men when
they begin to hang back. The cherries a little out of reach are always
redder than those which hang ready to the hand. Looking at the buxom
lass and the saucy twinkle in her merry black eye, Joseph's foreseeing
circumspection began insensibly to abate, or rather he forgot all
about it.
'What ails ye, Jean, woman?' he poured out in his most insinuating
tones, and his queer little eyes looked plaintive or nearly so. 'An'
me juist hungerin' for a glint o' yer bonny eyen!'
'Get out my gate, ye blatherin' skate!' with a jaunty toss of her
head. It is pleasant to be appreciated, is it not? No matter by whom.
But she had no thought of relenting yet awhile. 'It's like's ye cudna
bide awa frae me, ye leein' twa-faced body! It'll be four weeks come
Thursday sin' I hae seen a sicht o' ye, an' I hae dune brawly wantin'
ye. Gae back to them ye saw last an' bide there. It's no Jean Macaulay
'at's wantin' ye. An' gang out ower the clean kitchen! See til the
jaups o' glaar, about yer guttery trotters! Gang out ower, I'm sayin'!
or I'se lay the taings about yer cantle.'
'Whisht, woman! an' I'se tell ye a' about it,' said Joseph, sideling
nearer. Then throwing the right arm round her waist, he drew up the
left to protect his face from nails or accidents, and attempted to
steal a salute.
Jean screamed and sprang aside, catching hold of a broomstick, and her
face aflame with crimson wrath, ordered him out of the kitchen. At
that moment an inner door opened and Mrs. Sangster stood on the
threshold surveying the scene.
'Jean Macaulay! what is the meaning of this? Do you take my kitchen
for a country tavern, to go touzelling with strange men in it in that
unseemly way? When I engaged you I said distinctly that no followers
were allowed.'
'There's nae touzellin' here, mem; an' what's mair, I winna hae 't
said o' me by ony body, sae ye can suit yersel' wi' anither lass 'at
taks less tent o' her gude name nor I do! The man's nae follower o'
mine; it was yersel' he came speerin' for, sae I cudna tak on mysel'
to pet him out, an' syne the impident rascal he grippet me about the
waist, an' I skirled, an' ye see the lave o't.'
'It's Joseph Smiley, the minister's man! I declare. What do you want?
You may well be ashamed, and hang your head! What will the session
say? You, that ought to be an example of sober and godly deportment,
to be raising a riot in a gentleman's kitchen!'
Joseph was abashed. All his bright schemes seemed to dissipate
themselves before his eyes, like a morning mist, and he could only
wish himself away. He coughed behind his hand, and stood balancing
himself first on one foot, then on the other.
'I'm sair dumfoondered, mem!' he said at last. 'An' I'm thinkin' I
juist canna be very weel. My head gaed clean soomin' ey noo, an' I
cudna keep my feet, an' sae I out wi' my arm to catch something, an'
it was her I grippet, puir lass. An' Jean, it's like she thocht it
wasna mo-odest, an' sae she gae the bit skirl. But there was nae wrang
intil't ava, mem, as ye may weel ken. Wad it be likely noo, mem, e'en
gin I was ane o' the licht mindet kind, as a' the folk in Kilrundle
Free Kirk kens weel I'm no', for me to be comin' intil the kitchen o'
the first leddy e'y laand, an' carryin' on wi' rigs, an' daffin', an'
touzellin's? Weel I wat, mem, ye'll own I hae mair sense nor that.'
Joseph's demeanor was so deeply humble, and his way of putting the
case so respectfully argumentative that Mrs. Sangster was considerably
mollified, but consistency required some continuance of rigour.
'I fear, Joseph Smiley, you must have been drinking this morning. That
would explain the giddiness you describe, as well as your trying to
steady yourself against Jean Macaulay, which was not like the conduct
of a sober man. And, after all, from what you say, Jean's conduct
seems to have been perfectly proper. So, Jean, I will not consider
that you have given me notice to suit myself with a new maid until you
say it again!'
'There's naething but a wheen parritch gane down my craig this day,
mem, an' I'm wae 'at ye suld think sae ill o' me,' said Joseph,
feeling his way back into the usual sanctimonious groove. 'I'm no'
weel, mem, an' I'm juist fear'd I'm no' lang for this world, an'
that's what's brocht me here this day. I cam seekin' a word o' ye,
mem!'
'Then follow me, Joseph.'
Joseph followed, and laid before Mrs. Sangster the statement of his
hopes and desires. 'I'm no' lang for this warld, mem, an' gin I cud do
some gude first I wad be mair contented like, but they wad need to
double the steepend, mem. I cudna gang for less.'
'If you are going to die so soon, Joseph, I should think the temporal
reward would be of little consequence to you.'
'Ou ay, mem! But ye ken the labourer is worthy of his hire.'
'I should doubt your ability for the work, Joseph; and at any rate you
must wait till your giddiness is cured. A giddy catechist, to judge
from the scene in my kitchen to-day, might give rise to serious
scandals! I know a person who will exactly suit Mr. Geddie, if the
salary can be made sufficient; and I am much obliged to you, Joseph,
for having brought me the information. You may rest assured too,
Joseph, that if you will but do your duty with all your might, in the
circumstances in which Providence has placed you, you are making the
very best preparation for the great change which, sooner or later,
will overtake us all.' And with this moral sentiment still ringing in
his ears, Joseph found himself dismissed and on the gravel in front of
the house, not only a disappointed, but an utterly discomfited man. He
retraced his steps to the village, and went back to his joiner-work
thinking how little good had come to him out of his idle morning.