I love you very much, my dear M. If my love could be of any avail, it
would console you, for I feel a greater tenderness and sympathy for
you, than I am able to express. I am more certain than ever, that God
designs you for himself. Live exteriorly with N., as being entirely
reconciled. Make not too much account of his coldness, his passionate
temper, his contempt. It is not by these you are to regulate your
conduct, but by a motive more elevated--God and his glory. Let your
heart endure his bitterness, for the love of Him, who preferred grief
to pleasure. At the same time, do no violence to your own sacred
feelings, to accommodate yourself to him, in order to give him a
pleasure he cannot appreciate. Regard your present condition, as a
means God has given you, to manifest your love to himself, by a
willingness to sacrifice yourself. Reject not this cross, shall I not
rather say _crown_, and let all be accomplished between God and your
soul, in such a quiet manner, that the struggle with your own feelings
will not be perceived.
While you are bearing this daily cross--this real crucifixion--I am
certain God will sustain you, from the fulness of his love. All is
alike good, when God is with us. I love you tenderly. God loves you;
let this make amends for all. In Him devotedly yours.