It was a terrible position. The goblin and the hornet glared at one
another as fiercely as two ladies, who have got on the same patterned
frocks. It was one of those moments when you could no more tell the
hour by blowing thistle-down than attempt to make snowballs out of
hoar frost. KIPPER was the first to recover his presence of mind.
"What do you want here?" he shouted to the hornet with all the
virtuous force which he could put into a voice not naturally bass.
"What do you want here?" he repeated, more angrily; and, nearly
cracking his organ of speech, he screamed, with a superb air of
command, "Be off, you rascal! I say, be off!" The giant hornet smiled
in that sort of way which gives an honest ladybird the creeps, as he
growled, "What do I want? That girl!"--and he pointed to the terrified
EGLANTINE. "I'll teach her to interfere in my business. I've no
quarrel with you, KIPPER, so I strongly advise you to mount your old
horny-head" (here the stag-beetle said a rude remark to himself), "get
out of my way, and let me do my will." "Never!" cried KIPPER, drawing
his fine sword-grass blade. "Come on!" "O! KIPPER, dear KIPPER,
don't risk your life for me," sighed EGLANTINE; "please don't." "Keep
quiet!" muttered KIPPER, testily. "Why do women always interfere
in these little matters?" Then to NIPPARD he added, "Come on, you
swaggering bully, you tormentor of every peaceful inhabitant, you
horrid tyrant, you----"
But here the hornet, stung by these reproaches, tried to reply in
similar but more practical fashion. KIPPER, however, was too quick
for him, and gave him a sharp prod in the right wing just as he was
swooping down on the crouching EGLANTINE. The stagbeetle clapped his
horns together at the thrust, while the toad waddled out of his hole
and took notes of the affray without comment, for he had just as fine
a sense of the value of neutrality as Mr. GLADSTONE or the PRESIDENT
of the United States. NIPPARD, however, was in nowise discomfited and
made another ferocious dash, this time straight at KIPPER, who fenced
his sting, but got a buffet on the head from the hornet's body which
almost knocked him off his legs. However, he recovered himself and
stood once more on guard. EGLANTINE meanwhile had pressed some more
wild mint between her fingers and anointed her champion's brow. This
seemed to refresh him very much. As to the stagbeetle, he was too
frightened to do anything. So the fight continued, now KIPPER got a
good stroke, now NIPPARD wounded the goblin, but the hornet was never
able to get full power into his sling, nor the goblin into his sword,
so nimble were both.
At last KIPPER, in parrying a most venomous onslaught, tripped and
fell backwards, and, ere EGLANTINE or the stagbeetle could come to his
assistance, his foe had pounced upon him. It was a fearful sight as
both struggled on the sward. At last KIPPER'S blade was thrust with
a shout of triumph into the monster's body, and he stood on it as
it fell. But alas! scarcely had he done so, when he himself rolled
lifeless beside the corpse of his enemy. He had forgotten that
hornets, like wasps and writers of reminiscences, can still sting,
when they no longer breathe. EGLANTINE and the stagbeetle vainly
endeavoured to revive the champion, who had won. He was as insensible
to their attentions as is an ironclad ship to the persistence of an
exploded torpedo. The stagbeetle, who was getting rather weary from
want of refreshment, and hated "scenes," proposed that he should go
and fetch assistance while EGLANTINE might watch the body. This she
readily consented to do. Hardly had the beetle droned himself out of
sight when she flung herself upon the remains of the hero and shed
many bitter tears ere she could speak. At last she cried in her
anguish "Oh! my dearest, who was so good to me, come back, come back,
for I love you; yes! I love you dearly."
[Illustration: "He recovered himself and stood once more on guard."]
Scarcely were the words out of her mouth when the little form of
KIPPER disappeared, and there arose in his place not a prince in
velvet doublet and silken hose, but a well favoured man of about
thirty, dressed in a tweed suit, with billycock hat to match.
EGLANTINE, though very much surprised, was not the least bit
frightened, not even when the stranger addressed her. "Sweetest
EGLANTINE," he said, "know that I am not a goblin, but a human being
like yourself. _I was fortunate enough to discover a mine of virgin
gold in Western Australia, and to have the property assigned to me by
the government._ Selfishly I kept the secret to myself, and thereby
incurred the anger of the King of the Gnomes, who, as a punishment
for my sin against the welfare of humanity, caused me to be seized and
transported here by the Underground Antipodes Railway. In this forest
I was to abide in the repulsive form of KIPPER the Goblin, and to make
myself as disagreeable as possible to everybody. I have done so, with
considerable success. Only one chance of release was given to me, and
that was when some pure-hearted maiden should declare her love for me.
My case seemed hopeless; but you, darling, have broken the spell, and
restored me to my real self. My true name is ARCHIBALD JOHNSON. Will
you be Mrs. J.?"
EGLANTINE, having no fixed ideas as to "the proper age of love,"
unhesitatingly answered "Yes."
So the inhabitants of the New Forest, big and little, knew EGLANTINE
no more, and her mother retired to a house in Grosvenor Square, where
she was waited on by a butler who looked like a bishop, and by sixteen
tall footmen, whose discharges from the Life Guards she had bought at
considerable expense to her son-in-law. But he was rich and happy,
and his beautiful wife's photographs were in all the stationers'
shop-windows. No trace of the great fight exists, except the body of
NIPPARD the Hornet, which the toad, with an eye to business, stuffed,
and exhibits on bank holidays and Coronation Day to all the lower
members of creation at four barleycorns a head; moles, earthworms, and
tadpoles half-price. He devotes part of the proceeds to the Home for
Decrepit Dormice, so it costs him nothing. As to the stagbeetle,
he joined a travelling circus, after being painted white with black
spots. He was accidentally killed, when doing the hoop-trick, and may
now be seen labelled a "Remarkable Specimen" in the Natural History
Museum at South Kensington.