_To Strachan Shavins, Esq._
DEAR OLD STRACHAN,--So you want a few hints from me as to what you
should wear this Fifth of November. Well, my dear fellow, of course I
shall be delighted to be of any service I can to you. You needn't have
apologised for troubling me. It is only natural that, as you say,
you "shouldn't wish to make a fool of yourself on such an occasion by
turning out in the wrong sort of toggery." Dress is a more important
factor in _our_ profession than is generally supposed, and we, as
Gentlemen and Guys, should be the last to set conventionality and
propriety at defiance by appearing in public without proper regard to
our personal appearance.
First, let me beg of you _not_ to be persuaded into adopting a
cocked-hat. The career of the paper cocked-hat--with or without
coloured trimmings--is closed, and I for one do not regret it, for it
always seemed to me to imply an assumption of military rank which,
on the part of civilians like ourselves, is surely rather a paltry
affectation.
The only correct head-covering will be the tall hat, which I hear will
be bulgier than ever this year. The smartest will have open crowns
and little or no brims. There has been some attempt to revive the old
straw hat, though only with a black ribbon, but I have not heard of
this being adopted by Guys with any pretensions to dressiness.
Masks this year are to be gayer--I might even say gaudier--than ever.
I noticed one of bright magenta with large grape-green spots! Sounds
rather startling, you will think; but, really, worn with a fustian
jacket of a rather sombre tone of chestnut, and a mock-astrakhan
_toque_, the effect was not half bad. The latest idea seems to be to
strike the dominant colour-note in the mask, and make the rest of the
costume lead up to it. Personally, however, I prefer something which
renders its wearer less conspicuous. One in prawn-pink, with touches
of cardinal red under each eye, and an edging of the same around the
mouth, struck me as in excellent taste. Another in _bouchon-brûlé_
black, relieved by sealing-wax red, was pleasing, though _you_ may
consider it almost _too_ quiet.
After all, the colour and design of the mask may safely be left to the
taste and fancy of the individual.
Now, as to your coat. The sack-back overcoat still holds its own,
though it is open to the objection of concealing too much of the
figure. Have nothing to do with a striped flannel blazer, nor a glazed
calico jacket. You may see one or two about, but never on anyone who
is anybody at all. You cannot go wrong in a double-breasted pea-coat,
or one in black and rather shiny broadcloth, with rather long tails. I
have decided on one myself, and consider it decidedly becoming.
[Illustration]
Don't be induced to appear "in character." I cannot see any sense
myself in masquerading as some person of more or less ephemeral
notoriety. Why should we desire to mislead the careless into taking us
for a famous murderer, swindler, or statesman? I know it is done, and
by some who ought to be above such weakness; but, depend on it, it's a
poor sort of ambition. Let us be content to be _ourselves_, members of
the honourable and ancient Guild of Guys.
There seems to be a general agreement to dispense with collars this
year, and adopt instead a red worsted comforter, which is quite as
sightly, and very much more hygienic in these raw, foggy days. But,
if you must have a collar, have one in the "stick-up" shape, with the
ends slightly dog's-eared; the necktie can hardly be _too_ simple.
As for the trousers, they will be of much the same cut as
hitherto, perhaps just a shade baggier at the knees, and falling
"concertina"-wise, to meet the boots, into which they should be
tucked.
Soles and heels will either be very much worn, or not worn at
all--there is no _juste milieu_ here; but eschew boots of a brown
colour, which, on a formal occasion like this, are very bad style
indeed. Should you desire to be thought a very great "buck" and
"blood" indeed, you may have your boots an odd pair. A top-boot and a
tennis shoe make a highly effective combination.
It is not _necessary_ to wear gloves; but, if you do, remember to
have white knitted ones, _not_ kid. The finger-ends are generally left
open, so as to produce an impression of elegant negligence. This
may be heightened by allowing just a suspicion of hay or straw to be
visible at the apertures.
Lastly, you inquire about the best kind of conveyance to make your
rounds in. Take my advice, and refuse to be carried on a chair. I
would not even accept a barrow, unless it is drawn by a donkey. It is
only once a year, remember, and a certain amount of pomp and splendour
is essential if we Guys are to maintain the dignity of our Order in
these degenerate times.
I hear whispers that one or two Guys who go in for being "up to date"
are seriously thinking of exhibiting themselves this year on bicycles,
and, considering the sudden and enormous popularity which the "bike"
(to employ a hideous and vulgar abbreviation that offends my taste)
has acquired of late amongst the so-called "Upper Ten," I am far from
saying that even such a public personage as a Guy must necessarily
suffer any loss of dignity by being seen on a cycle--provided he
insists upon being securely tied on to the handle-bars, and also
upon the machine being supported and guided for him by a couple of
able-bodied attendants. But this, I understand, will be _de rigueur_
for any Guy who may so far unbend as to give the practice of cycling
the sanction of his official recognition and countenance.
I think that is all you wished to know about; so now, my dear old
chap, let me wish you a thoroughly enjoyable day's outing, and a
cheery evening by way of finish. You will find that the boys will do
you uncommonly well, give you as many combustibles as you can hold,
and there is sure to be plenty of fizz about. Sit tight, keep as cool
as you can, don't lose your head, or let yourself go too soon, and you
may reckon upon having what is colloquially termed "a high old time."
I shall expect a first-rate report, and you are pretty certain to
hear from _me_ if I am anywhere in your neighbourhood, so no more at
present from
Yours affectionately,