* * * * *
[Illustration: _The Wife (bitterly)._ "YES, IT MAKES A NICE OUTIN' FOR
ME, DON'T IT--SETTIN' IN THE RAIN ALL DAY GUARDIN' A TIN O' WORMS?"]
* * * * *
DIZZY. No, no.
MARGOT _(brightly_). Let us be sensible and talk frankly about your
approaching death. Have you any views as to your biography?
DIZZY. Need there be one?
MARGOT. Of course.
DIZZY (_earnestly_). Would you write it? You would be so discreet.
I had to refuse, but I am sure I could have made a more amusing job of
it than MR. BUCKLE has done, in spite of the love-letters. What a pity
they didn't entrust it to my dear EDMUND GOSSE!
=A Browning Poem.=
Here is a little poem that BROWNING wrote for me on hearing me say
that when we were girls "we did not know the meaning of the word
'fast'":--
We all of us worship our Margot,
She's such a determined _escargot_.
=Talks with the Dead.=
The great NAPOLEON had died many years before I was born; and how
unjust it is that the lives of really interesting people should not
coincide! But with the assistance of my beloved OLIVER LODGE I have
had many conversations with him. Our first opened in this manner:--
MARGOT. Do you take any interest in current English politics?
NAPOLEON. _Oui_ (Yes).
MARGOT. What do you think of LLOYD GEORGE?
NAPOLEON. An opportunist on horseback.
MARGOT. I love riding too. I met most of my friends in the
hunting-field. You should have seen me cantering into the hall of our
town mansion. Who do you think our greatest statesman?
NAPOLEON. ASQUITH beyond a doubt.
Both PLATO and JULIUS CÆSAR, whom my beloved OLIVER has also
introduced to me, said the same thing.