OTHER PEOPLE'S SINS.
"But why go home?" Felix stopped as he asked himself this question. He
could not face his mother with any inquiry about the mystery that
surrounded his father's memory, that mystery which was slowly
dissipating like the mists which vanish imperceptibly from a landscape.
He was beginning to read his mother's life in a more intelligible light,
and all along the clearer line new meanings were springing into sight.
The solitude and sadness, the bitterness of spirit, which had separated
her from the genial influences of a society that had courted her, was
plain to him now at their fountain-head. She had known--if this terrible
thing was true--that shame, not glory, was hers; confusion of face, not
the bearing of the palm. His heart ached for her more than for himself.
In his heart of hearts, Felix had triumphed greatly in his mother's
fame. From his very babyhood the first thought impressed upon his mind
had been that his mother was different from other women; far above them.
It had been his father who had given him that first impression, but it
had grown with strong and vigorous growth from its deep root, through
all the years which had passed since his father died. Even his love for
Alice had not touched his passionate loyalty and devotion to his mother.
He had rejoiced in thinking that she was known, not in England alone,
but in other countries into whose language her books had been
translated. Her celebrity shone in his eyes with a very strong and
brilliant splendor. How could he tell her that he had been thrust into
the secret of his father's infamy!
There was only Phebe to whom he could just yet lay open the doubt and
terror of his soul. If it was true that her father, old Marlowe, had
died broken-hearted from the loss of his money, she would be sure to
know of it. His preparations for his journey to-morrow morning were
complete; and if he chose there was time enough for him to catch the
night train, and start at once for Riversborough. There would be no
sleep for him until some of these tormenting questions were answered.
It was a little after sunrise when he reached Riversborough, where with
some difficulty he roused up a hostler and obtained a horse at one of
the inns. Before six he was riding up the long, steep lanes, fresh and
cool with dew, and overhung with tall hedgerows, which led up to the
moor. He had not met a living soul since he left the sleeping town
behind him, and it seemed to him as if he was in quite a different world
from the close, crowded, and noisome streets he had traversed only a few
hours ago. In the natural exhilaration of the sweet mountain air, and
the silence broken only by the singing of the birds, his fears fell from
him. There must be some mistake which Phebe would clear up. It was
nothing but the accusation of a besotted brain which had frightened him.
He shouted boyishly when the quaint little cottage came in sight, with a
thin column of blue smoke floating upward from its ivy-clad chimney.
Phebe herself came to the door, and Hilda, with ruffled hair and a
sleepy face, looked out of the little window in the thatched roof. There
was nothing in his appearance a few hours earlier than he was expected
to alarm them, and their surprise and pleasure were complete. Even to
himself it seemed singular that he should sit down at the little
breakfast-table with them, the almost level rays of the morning sun
shining through the lattice window, instead of in the dingy parlor of
his London lodgings.
"Come with me on to the moors, Phebe," he said as soon as breakfast was
over.
She went out with him bareheaded, as she had been used to do when a girl
at home, and led him to a little knoll covered with short heath and
ferns, from which a broad landscape of many miles stretched under their
eyes to a far-off horizon. The hollow of the earth curved upwards in
perfect lines to meet the perfect curve of the blue dome of the sky
bending over it. They were resting as some small bird might rest in the
rounded shelter of two hands which held it safely. For a few minutes
they sat silent, gazing over the wide sweep of sky and land, till Felix
caught sight of a faint haze, through which two or three spires were
dimly visible. It was where Riversborough was lying.
"Phebe," he said, "I want you to tell me the naked truth. Did my father
defraud yours of some money?"
"Felix!" she cried, in startled tones.
"Say only yes or no to me first," he continued; "explain it afterward.
Only say yes or no."
Through Phebe's brain came trooping the vivid memories of the past. She
saw Roland again hurrying over the moors from his day's shooting to
mount his horse, which she had saddled for him, and to ride off down the
steep lanes, with a cheery shout of "Good-night" to her when he reached
the last point where she could catch sight of him; and she saw him as
his dark form walked beside her pony that night when he was already
crushed down beneath his weight of sin and shame, pouring out his
burdened heart into her ears. If Felix had asked her this question in
London it might have hurt her less poignantly; but here, where Roland
and her father filled all the place with the memory of their presence,
it wounded her like the thrust of a sword. She burst into a passion of
tears.
"Yes or no?" urged Felix, setting his face like a flint, and striking
out blindly and pitilessly.
"Yes!" she sobbed; "but, oh, your father was the dearest friend I ever
had!"
The sharp, cruel sound of the yes smote him with a deadly force. He
could not tell himself what he had expected to hear; but now for a
certainty, his father, whom he had been taught to regard as a hero and a
saint, proved no other than a rogue.
It was a long time before he spoke again, or lifted up his head; so long
that Phebe ceased weeping, and laid her hand tenderly on his to comfort
him by her mute sympathy. But he took no notice of her silent fellowship
in his suffering; it was too bitter for him to feel as yet that any one
could share it.
"I must give up Alice!" he groaned at last.
"No, no!" said Phebe. "I told Canon Pascal all, and he does not say so.
It is your mother who cannot give her consent, and she will do it some
day."
"Does he know all?" cried Felix. "Is it possible he knows all, and will
let me love Alice still? I think I could bear anything if that is true.
But, oh! how could I offer to her a name stained like mine?"
"Nay, the name was saved by his death," answered Phebe sadly. "There are
only three who knew he was guilty--Mr. Clifford, and your mother, and I.
If he had lived he might have been brought to trial and sent to a
convict prison; I suppose he would; but his death saved him and you.
Down in Riversborough yonder some few uncharitable people might tell you
there was some suspicion about him, but most of them speak of him still
as the kindest and the best man they ever knew. It Was covered up
skilfully, Felix, and nobody knew the truth but we three."
"Alice is visiting my father's grave this very day," he said
falteringly.
"Ah! how like that is to Canon Pascal!" answered Phebe; "he will not
tell Alice; no, she will never know, nor Hilda. Why should they be told?
But he will stand there by the grave, sorrowing over the sin which
drove your father into exile, and brought him to his sorrowful death.
And his heart will feel more tenderly than ever for you and your mother.
He will be devising some means for overcoming your mother's scruples and
making you and Alice happy."
"I never ran be happy again," he exclaimed. "I never thought of such a
sorrow as this."
"It was the sorrow that fell to Christ's lot," she answered; "the burden
of other people's sins."
"Phebe," he said, "if I felt the misery of my fellow-man before, and I
did feel it, how can I bear now to remember the horrible degradation of
the man who told me of my father's sin? It was a drunkard----"
"John Nixey," she interrupted; "ay, but he caught at your father's sin
as an excuse for his own. He was always a drinking man. No man is forced
into sin. Nothing can harm them who are the followers of God. Don't lay
on your father's shoulders more than his own wrong-doing. Sin spreads
misery around it only when there is ground ready for the bad seed. Your
father's sin opened my soul to deeper influences from God; I did not
love him less because he had fallen, but I learned to trust God more,
and walk more closely with Him. You, too, will be drawn nearer to God by
this sorrow."
"Phebe," he said, "can I speak to Mr. Clifford about it? It would be
impossible to speak to my mother."
"Quite impossible," she answered emphatically. "Yes, go down to
Riversborough, and hear what Mr. Clifford can tell you. Your father
repented of his sin bitterly, and paid a heavy price for it; but he was
forgiven. If my poor old father could not withhold his forgiveness,
would our heavenly Father fall short of it? You, too, must forgive him,
my Felix."