A Real Oz Adventure
"The last thing I remember," muttered the dummy thickly, "was a little
girl shooting up like a fountain. Now what happened after that?"
Dorothy raised her head and looked cautiously in the direction from
which the voice was coming. The dummy lay, face down, in a great heap
of leaves and, without making any attempt to rise, went stuffily on
with the conversation. "I don't mind falling for stars, but being
flung around like a bean bag for a person who is one size this minute
and another size the next is all wrong. I wonder where she is now!"
"Here I am," called Dorothy breathlessly, rolling out of a pile of
leaves on the other side of him. "How do you s'pose we got here?"
"Little again!" groaned the dummy, just lifting his head long enough to
look at her, and then letting it drop back among the leaves. "Little
again!"
"Oh, am I?" Dorothy jumped up in great excitement and began measuring
herself as best she could. Her stockings were stretched and torn, her
dress was ripped in several seams and minus all of its buttons. But
outside of this she was her old, or rather her young, sweet self again.
"Why we must be back in Oz," sighed Dorothy, looking with deep relief
at a stretch of purple hills in the background. "This is the Gilliken
Country."
"Are you still the same size, or are you going to shoot up into a
young lady again? Don't shoot," begged the dummy quickly. "It makes me
nervous!"
"Well, I don't know," said Dorothy doubtfully. To tell the truth the
little girl had not had time to think at all, nor did she quite realize
that she was one age in Oz and another age in America. "I'll have to
ask the Wizard about it when we get back to the Emerald City," she
sighed, with a very puzzled expression. "It's all very funny, don't you
think so, Humpy?"
"Can't get it through my hair at all," puffed the dummy. Sitting up
stiffly he reached for his crown. "Where are we now and when does the
next reel begin?"
Instead of answering Dorothy plumped down among the leaves and, with
her elbows on her knees, stared thoughtfully at the dummy.
"I wish I knew how you came to be alive, and how we got back to Oz,"
mused Dorothy slowly. There was a flash and flutter in the air and down
at her feet dropped a crisp white card. Humpy promptly toppled over
backward and Dorothy, herself, gave a little gasp of surprise.
"By wishing," said the card in pink letters, just as if it had heard
her questions. Below there was some smaller printing and picking up
the card Dorothy quickly read on: "Wish Way is at the foot of Maybe
Mountain. This morning you were on Wish Way. You put some of the silver
wishing sand in your pocket. You wished yourself in America."
"Mercy!" cried Dorothy, dropping the card in her astonishment. "Why so
I did, and I wished you were alive, and I wished we were back and now
I'm going to wish us both straight to the Emerald City. I was on Wish
Way once before and know all about wishing."
"Wait! Wait a minute," panted the dummy, clutching his crown. "I'm used
to being flung about, to dying and all that sort of thing, but this
wishing business makes me breathless. Wait!"
Dorothy had already made her wish and, closing her eyes, sat perfectly
still. After a moment she opened them but nothing at all had happened.
She and Humpy were still sitting on the pile of leaves and the white
card had vanished. Blinking rapidly, Dorothy felt in her pocket. "No
wonder it didn't work," muttered Dorothy. "The wishing sand's all gone.
I must have used the last grain when I wished we were back. Oh dear,
we'll have to walk!"
"Where?" Holding his crown with both hands, the dummy sat up and looked
anxiously at the little girl.
"To the Emerald City, where I live, in a splendid palace with Ozma, the
Queen," explained Dorothy patiently.
"Well, I wouldn't mind living in a palace at all. I'm dressed for the
part. Let's go on," said the dummy cheerfully. After a few bends
backwards and a few bends forwards, he rose and started unsteadily down
the road. "You can be the star in this picture," he added generously,
"and I'll be your double and fall for you any time you say."
"All right!" agreed Dorothy, taking him cozily by the arm. Having
had great experience with stuffed persons, and having brought Humpy
to life, she felt more or less responsible for him. As they walked
along together, she told him a little about herself and as much about
the wonderful Land of Oz as she thought a man with hair brains could
understand. So many marvelous things had happened to Humpy in the
movies that he evinced no surprise at Dorothy's stories.
As the dummy and Dorothy hurried on, a great screaming and scolding
made them stop short. A scraggy-looking woods cut off the road ahead
and, advancing backward upon them, there came two crooked and curious
woodsmen bearing a flag. As the flag fluttered and rippled in the wind,
Dorothy tried to make out the strange words embroidered in white upon
its purple background.
"Eht Kcab Sdoow!" said the flag mysteriously.
"Og yawa! Og yawa!" shouted the woodsmen rudely. "Teg tou! Teg tou!
Teg tou!"
"Is this Oz talk," gasped Humpy, falling back in dismay, "or Arabic? I
was in an Arabian picture once and it sounded something like this. Tou
teg, yourselves," he shouted defiantly, as the woodsmen drew nearer,
"and none of your back talk either!"
"Back talk!" cried Dorothy, clutching him suddenly by the sleeve. "Oh,
that's just what they _are_ talking, Humpy. They're talking 'back
talk.' Wait a minute!" Closing her eyes, Dorothy began writing
imaginary letters in the air and, as the two woodsmen reached them,
she burst out triumphantly, "It says 'The Back Woods' on that flag. Oh
dear, I wished we were back and now we are!"
"You think awful fast," blinked the dummy admiringly. "The mere look of
that language makes me dizzy. So they're talking back talk are they?
Well, what do they say? Are they going to hit us?"
"They're telling us to go away," muttered Dorothy, putting her fingers
in her ears, for the two leaders had been joined by a hundred more and
all were screaming at the top or rather, I should say, the bottom of
their voices. They kept their backs to the travellers and shouted the
dreadful back talk over their shoulders. They all carried gleaming axes
and, when Dorothy made an attempt to advance, they brandished them
threateningly.
"If I could only talk back," wailed the little girl, "I'd tell them I
am a Princess. Then maybe they'd let me through."
"Couldn't you write it?" suggested Humpy, looking at the angry horde
with growing alarm.
"Why, how did you think of that?" Dorothy stared at him in honest
amazement. Then, feeling in her pocket, she brought out a stub
of pencil and a crumpled piece of paper. The woodsmen watched her
curiously over their shoulders as she slowly wrote her message.
"I ma Ssecnirp Yhtorod, dneirf fo Amzo fo Zo. Yam ew ssap hguorht ruoy
sdoow?" printed Dorothy after a great many pauses and erasures. Rather
timidly she handed it to one of the flag bearers and after a great
scowling and head-shaking, the woodsmen raised their axes and shouted
in chorus, "Sey! Sey!"
"That means 'yes'," breathed Dorothy, taking Humpy's arm. "C'mon, let's
hurry, before they change their minds." The woodsmen parted solemnly to
make a path, but when they reached the backwoods itself, Dorothy took
one step and was immediately flung upon her nose.
"Ah, I see you do your own falling," mumbled the dummy. "Why didn't you
wait for me?" Humpy was several paces behind Dorothy and as he spoke,
he also attempted to enter the woods. But the same hidden force pushed
him over backwards. Immediately the inhabitants of Back began to roar
with delight, and if you have never heard anyone roaring backwards, you
have no idea how horrid it sounds. It was something between a cough and
a choke. Even the dummy knew that he was being insulted, and waved his
arms about indignantly.
"There's some trick to it," panted Dorothy, sitting up quickly. "Watch!"
Several of the woodsmen began to move slowly toward her and, observing
them closely, the little girl saw that they were turned backward but
really walking forward. "We have to go backward forward!" cried
Dorothy. "Hurry up, before they catch us."
"This is worse than dying," groaned Humpy. "How do you go backwards and
forwards at the same time?"
"Watch me," said Dorothy, springing up determinedly. Turning her back
to the woods, she started to run away from it, and Humpy, goaded into
action by the threatening appearance of the terrible woodsmen, did
the same. For every step they ran backward forward, they went forward
backward two steps, bumping into trees, which had their roots waving
muddily in the air and their leaves underground and crashing into
bushes of the same curious character. Without stopping to examine the
back scenery at all, they ran for their lives, reaching the edge of
the woods just as the woodsmen caught up with them. The wicked fellows
had really no intention of letting them go, and howled most awfully as
Humpy and Dorothy made their escape. Several of the leaders started
in pursuit, but each time they set foot out of their forest they were
flung down by the invisible back wind and finally gave it up. Seeing
that they were safe at last, Dorothy sank down under a tomato tree and
fanned herself vigorously with her hat.
"Do we do this often?" puffed the dummy, giving himself a shake. "I see
this is going to be a funny picture."
"It's not a picture at all," answered the little girl a bit crossly.
"It's real. I told you we have lots of adventures in Oz. Well, this is
a real adventure."
"Really!" smiled the dummy, straightening his crown. "Well, if we're
not in a picture we ought to be. I'll bet we looked ridiculous running
forward backward. I say, if it isn't a funny reel it's real funny and I
hope you'll admit that, Miss Dorothy."
"Are you sure there's nothing in your head but hair?" asked the little
girl suspiciously. Humpy took off his crown and smoothed his silver
wig solemnly. "I don't think so," he said. "Why do you ask?"
"Well," Dorothy gave a little chuckle in spite of herself, "you just
made a joke and you thought about writing back. You sound kinda smart
to me."
"You're wrong," sighed Humpy, gravely replacing his crown. "I'm only a
hair-brained dummy, but I like being alive and I like having you for
my star and after this--" Humpy shook his fist angrily at the still
muttering woodsmen--"after this I'll take all the knocks and hard falls
for you. Then maybe, if you tried hard, you might grow to like me a
little?"
"Why, I like you already, you dear, generous old thing." Jumping up,
Dorothy gave Humpy an impulsive hug. Then, picking a large tomato, she
ate it hungrily. It seemed a long time since she had breakfasted with
the Forgetful Poet in Perhaps City.
"We'd better start on now," said the little girl, finishing off the
tomato with a long sigh of satisfaction. "We're in the Gilliken Country
and if we walk fast we may reach the Emerald City before night comes."
"All right, Miss Star." Picking up a crooked branch to balance himself,
Humpy stepped out cheerfully and, talking of one thing and another,
they journeyed for more than an hour through the pleasant fields and
lanes, causing no small wonder to the Gilliken farmers whom they passed
on the way, for Dorothy in her torn stockings and frock and the dummy
in his regal robes and crown made a strange pair, even for Oz. Without
explaining themselves at all, the two hurried on, never stopping until
they came to a broad purple river. Humpy looked inquiringly at Dorothy
and Dorothy with a puzzled little sigh sat down upon the river bank.
"I'm sure we ought to cross this river," said Dorothy thoughtfully,
"but how?"
Humpy put one finger in the water. "Do you want me to fall in for you?"
asked the dummy obligingly.
"Well, I don't see what good that would do," frowned Dorothy. "Let me
see!" Dorothy looked reflectively at her toes, so of course she saw
nothing but her boots, but Humpy looked off across the river, and so it
was Humpy who saw them first.
"Oh, look!" stuttered the dummy, grasping Dorothy by the sleeve. "Here
comes another adventure, Miss Star!"
Jumping up in alarm, Dorothy saw a curious company scooting about upon
the surface of the water. At the very same moment they saw Dorothy, and
came skating and sliding across the river like a swarm of giant water
bugs.
"Now don't tell me this is real," grunted the dummy, sitting down with
a thud. "I wouldn't believe them, even in a picture."
"But they're not in a picture," wailed Dorothy. "They're here, whether
you believe them or not. Why they have sails! Oh Humpy, get up quick.
Aren't you going to help me?" With a mighty effort Humpy pulled himself
together and arose.
"Teg tuo! Teg tuo!" shrilled the dummy, lapsing in his fright and
excitement into the terrible language of Back. "Og yawa! Og yawa! Kcab
Sdoow!" And snatching off his crown, he hurled it violently at the
heads of the approaching rivermen.