For many years I had been a follower of strange gods, and a lover of
this world and its vanities. I was self-righteous, and thought I had
religion of my own which was better than that of the Bible. I did not
know God, and did not serve him. Prayer was forgotten, public worship
neglected; and worldly morality was the tree which brought forth its
own deceptive fruit.
But when I shared parental responsibility, and our boy was growing up,
our love for him made us anxious about his welfare and future career.
His questions often puzzled me, and the sweet and earnest manner in
which he inquired of his poor sinful father to know more about his
Heavenly Father, and that "happy land, far, far away," of which his
nurse had taught him, proved to me that God had given me a great
blessing in the child.
A greater distrust of myself, and a greater sense of my inability to
assure my boy of the truth contained in the simple little prayers that
I had learned from my mother in childhood, gradually caused me to
reflect. Still, I never went to church; had not even a Bible in the
house. What was I to teach my boy,--Christ and him crucified, or the
doctrines I had tried to believe?
One of his little friends died, then another, then his uncle. All
these deaths made an impression on the boy. He rebelled against it;
wanted to know "why God had done it?" It was hard that God should take
away his friends; he wished he would not do it. I, of course, had to
explain the best I could. One evening he was lying on the bed partly
undressed; my wife and I were seated by the fire. She had been telling
me that Willie had not been a good boy that day, and I had reproved
him for it. All was quiet, when suddenly he broke out in a loud crying
and sobbing, which surprised us. I went to him, and asked him what was
the matter.
"I don't want it there, father; I don't want it there," said the
child.
"What, my child, what is it?"
"Why, father, I don't want the angels to write down in God's book all
the bad things I have done to-day. I don't want it there; I wish it
could be wiped out;" and his distress increased. What could I do? I
did not believe, but yet I had been taught the way. I had to console
him, so I said,--
"Well, you need not cry; you can have it all wiped out in a minute if
you want."
"How, father, how?"
"Why, get down on your knees, and ask God for Christ's sake, to wipe
it out, and he will do it."
I did not have to speak twice. He jumped out of bed, saying, "Father,
won't you come and help me?"
Now came the trial. The boy's distress was so great, and he pleaded so
earnestly, that the man who had never once bowed before God in spirit
and in truth, got down on his knees beside that little child, and
asked God to wipe away his sins; and perhaps, though my lips did not
speak it, my heart included my own sins too. We then rose, and he lay
down in his bed again. In a few moments more he said,--
"Father, are you sure it is all wiped out?"
Oh, how the acknowledgment grated upon my unbelieving heart, as the
words came to my mouth,--"Why, yes, my son; the Bible says that if
from your heart you ask God for Christ's sake to do it, and if you are
really sorry for what you have done, it shall be all blotted out."