_From Same to Same, on receiving Apologetic and Explanatory Letter
enclosing sixteen undated Stalls._
_Metropolitan Board of Shirks, Compromising Architect's
Department, Spring Heel Gardens, March 4._
Mr. BEGG wishes to know whether Mr. HARRIS takes him for a fool. Mr. B.
particularly told Mr. H., that he wanted him to let him have the Queen's
Box for six consecutive nights, _as he wished to give his_, Mr. B's.,
_Tradesmen a treat_. How does Mr. H. think Mr. B. is going to manage
that in suitable style, in sixteen undated Stalls! But perhaps Mr. H. is
desirous of _provoking an Official Inspection_, and would like to be
called on to provide a new set of dressing-rooms, a couple of
iron-curtains, and be ordered to rebuild his Entrance Hall. Mr. B.
merely throws this out as a hint, but would advise Mr. H. _if he wishes
to keep out of trouble_, to despatch the demanded boxes, to the
addresses already furnished him forthwith.
The HOME SECRETARY said, that after giving the above specimens of
correspondence his careful consideration, he could not say that he
thought them particularly out of the way, but as there somehow seemed to
be a general impression that they were, he supposed something ought to
be done. He would think the matter over, and perhaps in the course of
next summer he might possibly hit on some solution.
The Deputation having thanked him, then withdrew.
* * * * *
"ALL THE TALENTS."
The _Graphic's_ big picture, representing "All the Talents" of Her
Gracious MAJESTY'S reign grouped together in one tremendous crowd,
directed apparently on their way down (ominous this!) by Sir JEM of the
Academy, contains some of the best portraits that have appeared in any
collective illustration. Each one of them separately would be entitled
to a place in the splendid _Victoria Album_ recently issued by SMITH AND
DOWNES, and to say this is saying a great deal. _The Graphic_
Stage-Manager has grouped his characters most appropriately. On the
extreme right of the spectator is Sir FREDERICK LEIGHTON, P.R.A.,
staring across at Sir JEM as if wondering why on earth the latter was
taking so much authority into his own hands. The Baroness BURDETT COUTTS
is well in front, evidently determined to get out first before the crush
comes,--an idea that, apparently, has also simultaneously occurred to
Messrs. CHAMBERLAIN, BROWNING, ELLEN TERRY, and Lords CHARLES BERESFORD,
TENNYSON, SALISBURY, GLADSTONE, "our Mr. TENNIEL," Mrs. BANCROFT
(without Mr. B., which accounts for the vacant space next to her, so
perhaps he was late, or has politely gone to fetch Mrs. KENDAL, with
whom he will appear in the millionth re-issue of this picture), H.E.
Cardinal MANNING, apologising for accidentally treading on Madame
PATTI'S dress (but it really couldn't be helped), who are all getting
away as quickly as possible, either because Mr. SALA, up at the back, or
Sir ARTHUR SULLIVAN (who is looking about for Mr. GILBERT) has shouted
out, "Get on in front there!" Perhaps--ah!--they are all hurrying off to
the Refreshment Room! Or going to stir the Christmas Pudding.
* * * * *
BOHN'S Standard Library is to be republished at a shilling a volume.
This is indeed putting life in the dry Bohns.
* * * * *
[Illustration: hand] NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions,
whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description,
will in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and
Addressed Envelope Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no
exception.
* * * * *
[Transcriber's Note:
Alternative spellings retained.
Punctuation normalized without comment.